Recently wrote a piece on abuse within a romantic relationship. Read it and let me know what it is like. In the future I may write similar things as well on this blog if you enjoy it.
Monologue on Abuse
You know you’re fucked when those 1am thoughts, start to appear in the afternoon. You were starting to believe what your parents said about you; you are just an ungenerous, ungrateful little child. All you do is think about yourself. Do something for someone else once in your life.
And I did.
I gave him my world for I felt he was worth that much. He made me so vulnerable, broke open my chest, stole the treasure and left. And there were moments where I think he thought the same; that he actually cared. But something changed within him.
Maybe it was my fault. Maybe he had demons like me. But his were narcissistic heart breakers related to the devil. Once his needs were met I was no longer necessary. But I loved him. I didn’t care I just wanted to be with him. Even if that meant crying my eyes out as soon as I got home.
Vodka became my best friend. The strong kick to my throat hurt. But not as much as he hurt me. The more I drank it the more I got used to it. What’s worse is that the bruises didn’t cause me pain, the mind games did. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Whoever came up with that phrase I call bullshit on it. Words hurt so much more. Especially when they come from the person you didn’t expect them to come from.
You know when you’re in a car and it’s pouring down with rain but when you go under the bridge, everything stops. Everything goes silent it’s almost peaceful. Then you finally get out from under the bridge and everything hits you a little harder than it did before.
He was my bridge.