As a kid it was easy, if your mum liked the parent they would set up play dates and that was it. You were almost forced with friendship. Which was fine, you didn’t mind that.
But now you’re older and half the time the people you socialise are unbearable. Those who you do find bearable you assume don’t class you as a friend. Because…well because you’re you.
Unless someone comes up to you and says “Hey Grace, I want to be your friend” you guess that you’re just someone they talk to throughout their day. It’s a negative way to think, but similar to online shopping, you feel comfortable getting confirmation.
The problem is that’s not how adults work. A bit like when you play The Sims if you hug someone that just doesn’t feel comfortable being hugged by you, it’s a risk you have to take. In real life if you tell someone you believe is your friend a secret that you don’t trust anyone else with, it’s then a risk you have to take if they then tell the whole world.
Unfortunately, I don’t like risk taking. I’d rather people have tattoos on their forehead telling me their personality and likelihood of a decent friendship.
I’d much rather have someone be clingy and constantly needing attention and interaction all day as a friend than someone who doesn’t text me because they’re afraid of annoying me. However, I would consider myself the second one out of those two options. Don’t get me wrong I do start conversations. But if you don’t put the effort in I assume I’m not worth your time.
In conclusion to this weird ramble of thoughts, I probably have more friends than I suspect. It’s just I spend more time jumping to conclusions and expecting too much of people to realise.
My Book:“Letters to my Past”