· All anger is unhealthy and destructive. Sometimes anger is justified. For example, if someone has physically assaulted you then anger is necessary. It builds up adrenaline and therefore you are given the ability to fight the other person off. It’s times where people get frustrated over the minor irritations, that’s what’s unhealthy. It’s not necessary to always get so angry and chronic anger can be shown to be a risk factor for cancer.
· Anger is not an all-or-nothing event. Anger ranges from mild annoyance to intense rages. Some people have problems labelling negative feelings and assume every experience is hostile.
· It is not necessary to let your anger out. Though dwelling on negative events will cause your stress levels to increase, it is not necessary for you to have an outburst to reduce those levels.
· Not all anger people yell and scream. In fact, some people keep their anger to themselves. However, sometimes this can be difficult and though they don’t directly tell you they’re angry at you, they will be ‘passive aggressive’. This will cause them to sulk, slam doors and may have a ‘tone’ to their voice.
· Anger management does not mean keeping your mouth shut. Anger management is all about keeping calm and not saying something you’ll later regret. Anger management means learning to tell the difference between a situation worth getting angry over and when you’re just over-reacting.
· Anger is inherited. Sometimes people make excuses for their behaviour by saying they got it from one of their parents. However, this would mean the expression of anger is fixed and is not able to be altered. The expression of anger has actually been found to be a learned behaviour.
· People must be aggressive to get what they want. People confuse assertiveness with aggression. The goal of aggression is to dominate, harm or injure another person. Whereas the aim of assertiveness is to express feelings of anger that is respectful towards other people. The way assertiveness works is that you express your feelings of frustration towards the situation without blaming or threatening the other person.
My Book: “Letters to my Past”