Sociopaths vs Psychopaths

Sociopaths vs Psychopaths

There isn’t a huge difference between the two, however one is more likely to kill you.

Both are a term used when describing someone who is “crazy”. The difference between a sociopath and a psychopath is like describing the difference between shell shock and post-traumatic stress disorder. A lot of science has gone into the research.

There are general similarities between the two disorders. For example both types involve the individual having a total disregard for the safety of others. Emotionally manipulating people is a feature you would gain with both mental conditions as well. However neither conditions mean the person is necessarily violent.

Psychopathy and sociopathy both have a shared diagnosis- antisocial personality disorder.

A person with this personality disorder may:

  • Manipulate or violate the rights of others
  • Lack concern, regret or remorse of other people’s distress
  • Show disregard for normal social behaviour
  • Have difficulty sustaining long-term relationships
  • Struggle to control their anger
  • Not learn from their mistakes
  • Blame other people for their problems in their life
  • Repeatedly break the law

In both cases some signs or symptoms are present before the age of 15. This then progresses them into becoming a psychopath or sociopath in adulthood.

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Traits of Psychopaths

People tend to be born as a psychopath and likely to be due to genetics. However this doesn’t mean that they didn’t suffer from some kind of childhood trauma.  Researchers have also found that it may be caused by underdeveloped parts of the brain. These immature parts of the brain tend to be linked with impulse control.

Like with sociopaths, psychopaths have a hard time forming real emotional attachments with people. Instead they form artificial relationships. These are manipulated in such a way that the psychopath gets the most benefits. They often use people to help forward their goals. They rarely feel guilt, no matter how many times they have hurt someone. Whether that be emotionally or physically.

From outsiders they are often seen as being charming and trustworthy.  They also tend to be able to hold a steady, normal job. They may even have a family or a seemingly loving relationship with their partner. Psychopaths tend to be well-educated but do learn a lot by themselves.

Psychopaths do engage in criminal behaviour but do it in a way that minimizes the risks for them. Carefully planning their every move.

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Traits of Sociopaths

Sociopathy tends to arise due to environmental factors. Such as a child’s upbringing in a negative household. Especially if this involves things such as physical or emotional abuse.

They tend to be more impulsive and erratic than psychopaths. Like the psychopaths they also have difficulties forming attachments. However some sociopaths may be able to form an attachment to a like-minded person.

Most sociopaths don’t hold long-term jobs and tend not to present much of a normal family to the outside world. And while they may engage in criminal behaviour it is more impulsive and largely unplanned. They tend to have little regard for the risks or consequences of their actions and are more focussed in the present than the future.

Sociopaths tend to be angered or agitated easily. This can cause violent outbursts.

Who to avoid?

Both types are a risk to society. However psychopaths experience a lot less guilt connected to their actions and also have a greater ability to dissociate from their actions. So any pain that is caused to others is meaningless to a psychopath. Although both psychopaths and sociopaths are not necessarily violent, it is often present.

Grace x

Do Open Relationships Work?

Do Open Relationships Work?

An open relationship is a marriage or relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with other people.

Some couples are agreeing to open their relationships to more than one sexual partner. Are the benefits really worth the cost?

With about 50% of marriages ending in divorce and with many reporting that infidelity as the reason, some couples are challenging the boundaries of traditional relationships.

 

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What’s the Appeal of Open Relationships?

Freedom of choice is a big reason for some people. Some people say that their heart is ‘wired’ for multiple relationships. People get frustrated by the classic love triangle in films. Why should they have to choose between two people, why couldn’t they have both?

It’s not just variety of sex either. Sometimes having multiple partners can give people a lot of emotional support. Especially if you’re a bisexual girl, for example seeing romantic comedies at the cinema would be much more enjoyable with another girl than a guy.

Children’s bed stories always states that the princess or prince has to choose who they will end up with. Maybe in the future if more people are comfortable with the concept we will see a change in these kind of stories.

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Are There Different Kinds of Open Relationships?

There are a wide variety of open-relationship models out there and different models can work differently for different couples. Having an open relationship can really work for some couples, however as people we’re inclined to feel sexually jealous of a partner being with someone else. This makes us resistant to that partner having another relationship.

There are the polyamorous relationships in which people openly have multiple romantic or sexual partners but always return home to each other. There are swingers who experiment with other couples together. And there’s overlaps in those definitions because that’s the point; people are making it up as they go along so that their relationships stay fulfilling.

You normally see open relationships in two situations. The first one is if someone is dating someone where they are able to get something else out of the relationship, like status. The other category is if it’s just a person who likes to have sex with a lot of other individuals. In both situations the relationship can survive, however there are a few obstacles you have to overcome.

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Is it Worth it?

Sometimes people can’t get everything they need, sexually, physically or emotionally from the one person. Those who practice open relationships lay a load of ground rules for the multiple relationships to avoid hurt and disappointment.

The state of monogamy is being examined and is slowly becoming a bit more popular. 5% of people are in some kind of open relationship, with 16% of women and 31% of men willing to try it.

While some couples are able to pull off this kind of lifestyle, there is a high risk of things falling apart.

If a couple are willing to partake in an open relationship, they have to be close to perfect. Their love and commitment be unquestionable, their ability to communicate and problem-solve be equally skilful. This is because we humans have trouble setting limits when we want something bad enough. And when we’re angry or frustrated all those rules you agreed by can be used as weapons to attack our mates.

In reality if a couple were so close to perfect would they need an open relationship? Is openness in relationship another way to avoid intimacy?

In my eyes I don’t think it’s worth it. I’d rather get all my attention from one partner than a variety of partners. But what does everyone else think?

Grace x

Do Some People Deserve to Die?

Do Some People Deserve to Die?

Some people’s death would benefit the rest of earth’s population. For example serial killers. However I feel it’s ironic that in some places to show people that killing is bad, they have to kill.

The world is full of arseholes. There are various different levels of arseholeness; from those who cut in front of you when in a queue, to those who cause serious harm to other people. However in both cases does the person deserve to die?

It’s quite a strong statement to say, that all _____ deserve to die. Even with serial killers sometimes it’s not something they can stop. For example if they have a severe mental condition that tells them to kill or cause them not to be able to stop themselves. Are we going to kill them off just because of their flaws?

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If you are talking about death as a punishment it wouldn’t really work anyway. Compared to what one can do to the human body, death is a form of relief.

In some cases people deserve to die due to being a waste of space. For example if someone is obese to the point it is effecting their health and isn’t doing anything to improve it, well then why bother. The human being in this case is a waste of oxygen who will die soon anyway if they carry on doing the same habits.

If every greedy person was a little less greedy we would be able to resolve poverty. The sad thing is that there are people starving in many places across the world and you’re overeating and killing yourself in the process.

What about all of us? The average, everyday person? We may not have done something illegal but have we done something that makes us worthy of death? It is part of the human process anyway, we reproduce to the point it is no longer possible. And then we die. Death isn’t something we can avoid. So maybe we all deserve to die.

Now I am no believer when it comes to religion but if we didn’t deserve to die, wouldn’t God or whoever made some of us immortal?

Besides those who are vegan we kill animals in order to survive. That hardly seems fair as our death will have no relevance to an animal’s survival. In that case we are all serial killers. And if serial killers deserve to die then so do we.

Committing suicide used to be illegal and still is in some places of the world. I think if someone wants to die or thinks they deserve to die, they should be allowed to. Especially if they are in such emotional or physical pain to the point it’s more difficult for them to be alive.

No one is really capable of judging whether someone should live or die. Yet those who are actively destructive towards the good of society should be taken care of. Although that does go against our rights.

Each one of us has a right to live. Is there anyone who deserves not to have their rights?

Grace x

 

 

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Personality disorders are mental health conditions in which an individual differs significantly in the way they think, feel and perceive certain situations. They are many different types as well and each one can prevent itself in a different way. There are three main categories of personality disorders: suspicious, emotional and anxious.

The suspicious category includes paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, and antisocial personality disorders. The emotional category includes borderline, histrionic and narcissistic personality disorders. The anxious category includes avoidant, dependent and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder may:

  • Feel very worried about people abandoning you and will do anything to stop that happening
  • Have intense emotions that can last a few hours to days and have them suddenly change. For example from feeling very happy and confident in the morning to sad and depressed in the afternoon
  • Not have a strong sense of who they are, although this can change depending on who they are with
  • Find it hard to make and keep stable relationships
  • Get very angry or struggle to control your anger
  • Have suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviour
  • Feel lonely and empty a lot of the time
  • When stressed you may feel paranoid, have psychotic experiences or feel ‘numb’ and not remember things properly after they have happened

 

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Being diagnosed with any personality disorder doesn’t mean you have a bad personality yourself. You just have positive and negative traits. Everyone has moments where their behaviours can cause problems, the only difference with BPD is that some if these feelings or behaviours can be difficult to manage.

What causes BPD?

There is no clear cause why people are diagnosed with BPD however there are factors that make it more likely to have it than others. These factors include:

  • Being female, more women are diagnosed with it than men
  • Difficult childhood and teenage experiences
  • Genetic factors

Stressful times if you are already experiencing some of the BPD symptoms can make things worse as an adult.

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What can I do to cope with my emotions?

If you feel you are struggling with BPD or even just some of the symptoms I have listed above they are several ways of being able to cope by yourself.

One of the main symptoms was having severe mood swings so depending on how you are feeling would depend on what possibly you would need to do in order to feel better. I have made a table below with advice on what might help depending on the emotions you are struggling with.

How you are feeling What to do
Angry, frustrated or restless -Rip up a newspaper

-Go for a run

-Throw ice cubes into the bath so they break

Depressed, sad or lonely -Get a blanket and watch your favourite movie/tv show

-Write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and rip it up

-Listen to your favourite song or music

Anxious or tense -Take ten deep breaths

-Take a warm bath or shower

-Make yourself a hot drink, paying attention to the smell, taste and warmth of the drink

Dissociative or spaced out -Drink a glass of ice cold water

-Chew a piece of ginger or chilli

-Clap your hands and notice the tingling sensation

I hope this information on the topic was useful and I hop you enjoyed reading it. To cheer everyone up from this slightly morbid topic here are some mood swings:

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Grace x

What is Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome?

What is Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome?

Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (PTRS) is a fairly new mental health condition to be discovered in which the individual may have suffered trauma in an intimate relationship. Trauma being any physical, emotional or sexual abuse suffered in the context of the romantic relationship.

It is less severe than Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as it doesn’t include the array of symptoms which characterise the complex syndrome such as dissociation or change in identity.

Here are some signs that may show up for the sufferer:

Suspicion. Relationships in which there is emotional abuse, lying, narcissism, sexual abuse or alcoholism can leave chaos on a partner’s emotional state. This can cause people to have a heightened lack of trust and a constant state of paranoia. Especially if one of partners has the power to control the other.

Flashbacks. If one has suffered extreme emotional distress in a relationship they can then experience it all again in flashbacks. Some being quite vivid to the point of being able to experience it as if it’s just happened. The flashbacks can come across as auditory hallucinations; in which you can see, hear and smell the event all over again.

Nightmares. Similar to the flashbacks if you’re having vivid and frequent nightmares about events from the relationship, it could be a sign. Having dreams about your ex shouting at you, cheating on you, beating you or trapping you in small places could be signs of PTRS.

Obsession. Obsessing about a relationship, whether you’re in it or waiting for it to happen, could mean something is wrong. It is fine thinking about it if it needs work but it’s not necessary to constantly think about your relationship. Constantly wondering whether you could have done something better and blaming yourself about your past. Obsessing is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. The reality is they are probably not thinking about you as much as you are about them.

Crying. Constantly crying on a daily basis when what happened was a very long time ago. For example if it’s been three years and you’re still mourning then it is probably a sign of PTRS. In general, healthy people tend to grieve for one month for every year of their relationship.

Weight gain/loss or other health problems. When people’s emotions aren’t where they are meant to be, their appetite can change. Rapidly losing or gaining weight can be a sign that there is a problem. Your health in general can go downhill after a distressing relationship. You may experience symptoms such as migraines, high blood pressure and feeling physically sick more often.

Sexual promiscuity. Women who have suffered sexual assault can take sexual encounters as a way of getting their power back. They will see sex as a way of getting the love and affection they deserve which causes women to turn to causal sex. Which is fine however most times they just need time to heal and sex will only make them feel better temporarily.

If you think you are or someone close to you is suffering seek help. I hope this was useful information.

Grace x

 

Why I am not allowed to walk at night

Why I am not allowed to walk at night

If a woman walks alone at night and sees a man between the ages of 20 and 60; she is made to feel terrified.

As a woman I am constantly told to be afraid of walking alone at night. Parents are always more relived when their daughters are out with at least one friend they can trust.

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However some incidents always happen anyway. For example if there is a theft in your neighbours house, do you stay in all day so you can guard your house? The definition of incident just means something happens once in a while to somebody. This means that just because a girl is roaming about in the dark by herself doesn’t mean that something would happen to her.

The only reason that girls are not allowed to roam around at night is due to fear. Your parents, siblings and friends are all just worried about you.

The media is filled with conversations and debates about feminism. Feminism being the movement of women’s rights being equal to men. So until everyone feels safe walking alone at night, feminism is not over.

Most women fear walking alone at night due to the fact they are scared of being raped or sexually assaulted. This isn’t an irrational fear; as a woman is sexually assaulted every 2 minutes. In fact, women are more than twice as likely to fear walking alone at night than men.

It isn’t fair that women should fear walking at night due to someone’s gender and I’m surprised that more men aren’t mad about this. The fact we fear men in the street is because a portion of men do things that aren’t necessarily illegal, but a little uncomfortable at best.

For example when a group of drunken boys cat call you when you’re walking home alone, it can be a bit nerve wrecking. Having someone look you up and down as they walk past you isnt scary but it can make one feel uncomfortable.

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Being told we can’t walk at night is just another thing we are oppressed by. It’s under the same category of keeping an eye on our alcoholic drinks and being told what to wear.

People of all genders have a responsibility to make other people of all genders feel safe and secure. Not because we are feminists or whatever; because we’re human.

Grace x

Alcohol is no Excuse.

Alcohol is no Excuse.

Cheating is cheating. Whether you’re drunk or sober; you’re still cheating. Is a drunk encounter somehow worse than a sober encounter?

If your partner cheated on you sober they made a conscious decision do to so.  However if they cheated whilst being drunk it could be the result of their subconscious coming out.

Sometimes this could be because the cheater hasn’t come to the conscious decision that they are wanting to end things with their significant partner.

In the beginning of relationships; it’s easy. Little effort is needed to please one another because it’s a fresh start. However when two people have been together for a while some couples struggle to keep the ‘spark’ alive.

Everyone has done something stupid or embarrassing drunk, cheating being the low of all things. The problem is when people are drunk they are an even more honest version of themselves. This means if they’ve cheated drunk, they may have wanted to do it sober.

Alcohol can cause people to be more confident. Sometimes this confidence can be seen as flirtation by someone else. The definition of flirting is behaving passionately without serious intent.

You may be flirting to boost your ego or to have a laugh. And while flirting is all good and fun it can cause some jealously and resentment in relationships. Adding alcohol to the mix doesn’t help.

People shouldn’t assume that “I was drunk” is a good enough excuse. Any actions you do when drunk isn’t because you are unaware of doing them, it is simply because you have less care about the consequences.

If you’ve ever been cheated on you know how awful it feels. There are these feelings of sadness, angry and confusion. But what’s the worst thing is that no matter what you’ve done; you weren’t good enough. It doesn’t matter what kind of infidelity it is, it would still hurt.

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Overall no alcohol is not an excuse. If you and your partner think it’s worth the effort then the relationship may be able to be fixed.

If you like this blog post look at my previous one about some of the reasons people cheat.

Grace x