My secondary school I went to was an all-girls school. However back then I hadn’t fully discovered my bisexual self, I only realised that once I was in college.
What used to confuse me though was I would have several girls in my year I would hate. Some of them I hated for a legitimate reason but most of them I hated and I couldn’t pin point why.
I looked back on all the girls I hated for no reason and realised I actually found them attractive and would sometimes go to the point of saying I fancied them.
A bit like when 12 year old boys fancy girls they go beating them up because they are confused with their feelings. Apart from in my case I called them nasty names and talked shit about them behind their backs.
Unfortunately I haven’t grown out of this habit as I have experienced similar situations at college and even with a colleague I work with. Although because I am more mature I don’t call other people names anymore but I still tend to meet girls and have this unnecessary hate towards them.
I have been thinking about what has been causing this unnecessary hatred but I haven’t come up with an answer. Maybe it’s because I am dating a heterosexual guy and I’m worried he will find these other girls attractive too. The way it works for me is when I find a guy attractive I obviously personally have nothing to compare the attraction to. But when I find a girl attractive it’s because I think they are better looking than me.
This problem I have only happens with girls and not with guys so my theory could be correct.
So girls if I ever act cold and distant round you it’s probably just because I find you attractive!