Forgiving people is needed; humans make mistakes. No one is expecting you to hold grudges with every person that messes up.
However if you are constantly forgiving and forgetting people who don’t deserve it, they will just assume they can do that kind of behaviour again. Things such as abuse, cheating and violence.
Sometimes we forgive people time and time again because they have ‘issues’. Whether that be they lived through a difficult childhood or suffer from a mental illness. We feel they have some kind of leeway and we let them get away with the same things.
Should we allow to let people off just because they have naughty kid syndrome? Adults are adults at the end of the day, they should be responsible for their own actions and behaviours. As the law states even a 10 year old knows the difference between what is wrong and right.
Sometimes we forgive people because we don’t want to lose them from our lives. We’d rather forgive them 100 times then see the back of their head. Just because we love someone does that mean they can get away with murder? In reality it that would be up to the sufferer to be strong enough to let them go. To decide whether this would be the last time to let them off. If the said person offers a lot in our lives maybe we are more likely to forgive them than anyone else. No one deserves forgiveness, it is a gift from one person to another. Only the victim can decide whether that person is worthy of it.
Forgiveness should never be an obligation. Expecting victims to forgive just adds to the victim blaming and causes them to feel more guilt. Another thing we have to remember is that forgiveness is not just black and white, just because we don’t forgive someone doesn’t mean we are full of rage and resentment over that person.
Forgiving people too easily can be bad, as people can use this to take advantage of you. To do the same thing over and over again because they know you won’t mind it. Unfortunately trying to change your personality is nearly impossible, as it’s who you are and it’s all your habits you have grown into. You just have to make sure you aren’t allowing people to hurt you.
But that’s what I think, how do you deal with forgiveness?