Sexist Scenarios I’ve Experienced At Work

Sexist Scenarios I’ve Experienced At Work

I currently work in a phone shop, this job involves me selling phones, contracts, insurance, phone cases etc. It’s a very male orientated job, mainly due to the stress of sales and the fact you must have some sort of knowledge of technology. Some women just find it more difficult to handle sales pressure than men and tend not to know a lot about tech compared to men. So because of all of this I am one of the only women in this job at the moment.

And because of this I sometimes experience sexism in the workplace.

  • Customers tend to go to my male colleagues because they assume I don’t have the knowledge. Even when both me and my colleague are free I notice more people tend to go to them instead. I’m not saying I know absolutely everything about phones, but no one does. When I do serve customers and I try to solve their problem for them and I seem unsure they immediately go “Would your colleague know?” Besides my manager I have been there the longest so the majority of the time the other colleague doesn’t know either.
  • Being called pet names such as “love” or “darling”. I dislike this one quite a bit because , whether it is coming from a member of staff or a customer, I don’t think its very respectful. People would have something to say if I called them pet names such as “babe”, so why should they be allowed to do it? I’m there to work and do my job, not for your entertainment.
  • Being told I’d be good at a sales job because I’m female. When I first got the position I was worried I wouldn’t be very good at the role as it was my first sales job. However I got told that I would do just fine because I’m female. I don’t use my looks or assets to get the sale figures I do, I use my knowledge and charming personality instead. If at any point I have done better than my colleagues it is not because I’m female, it’s because I can do my job better.
  • “Guys have the Samsung phones and girls have the iPhones”. I had a customer say this to me before I whipped my Samsung Galaxy S6 Edge from my pocket, this comment is utterly stupid. Anyone can have any phone, it doesn’t depend on what gender you are. Also there are more brands than Apple or Samsung. He was suggesting that all girls are stupid enough to go for the iPhones because at a cheaper price Samsung Galaxy phones tend to be a lot better. Boys can be stupid too.
  • A previous manager got more angry at me when I was worse at hovering the floor than the male colleague. As a woman I am pre-programmed to be good at cleaning, so when I was worse than the male colleague…it was unheard of. Look I’m female, I’m shit at cleaning and cooking. Deal with it.
  • Employers in the past have felt it necessary to comment on my appearance. “If you wouldn’t mind seeing my colleague as she is a lot more attractive than me anyway” Oh don’t bother telling the customers that you’re busy and that I can do my job just perfectly. Customers don’t care about my appearance, they are in the store to get advice on whatever the situation is, my appearance has nothing to do with it. Whether I’m unattractive or pretty, as long as I’m good at my job it shouldn’t matter.
  • When you ask a male customer for their mobile number and they count it as flirting. You asked me to check when you can upgrade your contract, I need your number you idiot. Once you leave the store I will forget you and your number.
  • When male customers ask whether you have a boyfriend. I don’t mind small talk. Actually sometimes to get customers to buy products you have to gain some trust out of them and so chatting about everyday things helps. However my personal love life has nothing to do with you.
  • When you ask the customer to rate your customer service and they comment saying you were “fit”. I’m sure most people have experienced it when you get a service from any phone shop within 24 hours you get a text asking “How likely will you recommend ____ to a friend out of 10?” After the rating you then get told to comment why. A customer has given me a 10 due to my physical appearance. Not because I helped him out at all or that I’m actually good at my job. Just because I’m pretty to look at.

There are probably a few more scenarios I have missed, but I have experienced every single one that I have listed above. It’s nearly 2017, can’t sexism just end.

Grace x

 

Problems People With a Baby Face Experience

Problems People With a Baby Face Experience

Those who have a baby face tend to have a big eyes, big forehead, small nose and a round face. Having a baby face can make you look younger than you’re actual age. And for all those older people who are about to say “When you’re my age you’ll appreciate it”. Well maybe I want to look my own age now.

People feel it is acceptable to pull your chubby cheeks and say how “cute” you are.

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You have to carry your ID everywhere you go.

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People take an extremely long time looking at your ID and you makes you feel nervous even though you know it’s not fake.

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When people come to the door they always ask for your parents.

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You dread if you ever get pregnant because people might think it’s a teen pregnancy

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You put so much effort in what you wear and how you do your hair to try to convince people of your real age.

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People tend not to take you seriously or respect any of your ideas.

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When you bother with makeup, you look like a kid trying too hard.

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People always make this face when you tell them your real age.

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You always get creepy older guys trying to flirt with you.

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And if you do date anyone your own age it just makes them look like a creep.

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At work customers tend to go to your colleague because they look more knowledgeable.

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You save so much money on anti-aging products.

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You get away with things because people think you’re innocent.

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Grace x

The Negatives of Being Too Honest

The Negatives of Being Too Honest

Being honest is always seen as a good personality feature, however being too honest can make others feel uncomfortable and sometimes can cause hurt to others where it could have been avoided.

Being blunt can mean you get what you want because you’re straightforward about it but here are the few disadvantages with being incredibly honest:

  1. You find it difficult to lie. This may not be seen as a bad thing but sometimes you have to tell a white lie to get yourself out of sticky situations and those who are brutally honest find it difficult to persuade people with the exaggerated truth. Even if you do try to lie you always get caught in the end. This is why 90% of the time I just don’t bother with any lies.
  2. People find you are too honest and don’t like you for this. I’ve been told many times that I can be quite blunt and some people find this surprising. They tend to dislike my honesty when it comes with discussing my opinion on their physical appearance.
  3. Due to your predictably some people may find you boring. Those who are close to you can predict your actions and reactions to certain situations.
  4. Some people find your honesty to be quite rude due to your lack of sugar-coating. To be honest I don’t give a shit whether people find me rude.
  5. You may end up saying something you shouldn’t have. A bit like when people blurt all kinds of gossip when they’re drunk…however this is you sober as well.
  6. You face a lot of rejections at job interviews because you tend not to be very good at bullshitting people.
  7. Sometimes you can come across as desperate. If there’s something you want you’ll go get it. No romantic rubbish just a simple “Can we fuck?”
  8. You will take risks in relationships. Some people find it difficult to stomach honesty without a strong degree of respect for whoever is telling the truth. Which is why you will need a strong element of trust with those you are in a relationship with.
  9. Working in sales sometimes you have to lie to satisfy the customer’s needs. Being honest can sometimes cause the customer to be upset or angry which causes more problems than solving any.

While there are some disadvantages in being honest it doesn’t mean you have to constantly say whatever it is you are thinking. It also doesn’t mean you have to be disrespectful in what it is you have to say.

Being honest or bold doesn’t mean you have to be blunt.

Grace x

 

We Spend Years In Education, Yet No One Teaches Us To Love Ourselves.

We Spend Years In Education, Yet No One Teaches Us To Love Ourselves.

Over the last couple years I have learned a lot about self-judgement. There is no point being your own bully because there are enough people in this world to volunteer for that position.

Having low self-esteem or self-confidence can cause constant feelings of anxiety and misery. Constantly comparing yourself to others and wishing you could be, prettier, smarter or funnier. It gets exhausting continuously trying to better yourself. And at the end of the day we still hate ourselves.

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Considering we spend a majority of our childhood and teenage years in education you would think schools would be able to teach us about emotional well-being. However education is normally defined as learning relevant skills and knowledge towards a certain profession. So in that case emotional health being taught by teachers wouldn’t make much sense.

On the other hand if education is defined as equipping students with the knowledge and skills to help them out with their adult life in general, emotional well-being could be necessary.

Emotions are also key in learning. If you’re not happy, you’re not motivated. And if you’re not motivated then you won’t bother with paying attention and taking in any information in the first place. Another factor to keep in mind is that high levels of stress will decrease the student’s ability to learn. Low self-esteem can sometimes cause stress and vice versa. Being taught about emotional well-being would give us the ability to manage stress more effectively.

It’s all well and good going around telling people children should be taught about emotional well-being but some schools just don’t have the facilities or funds to do so. Another thing to bear in mind is timing. Teachers struggle going into depth about topics they are having to teach, yet alone trying to teach children and young teens about how their emotions work.

When we say we hate ourselves, do we actually hate ourselves?

We become more vicious when it comes to ourselves because it’s a coping mechanism. We continue to believe we don’t deserve to be loved or appreciated. The biggest villain of all of this is the feeling of inadequacy, the feeling of not being good enough.

The problem with low self-esteem is that not only does it make one feel terrible the majority of the time, but research has also shown that those who have low self-esteem are more likely to have poorer mental and physical health, less chances of achieving success and more frequent tendencies of committing crimes compared to those with high self-esteem.

Imagine if schools started teaching emotional health, how many people would be able to appreciate life? How many would be able to achieve what they want to achieve? And the fact the amount of crime could possibly be decreased as well.

Teaching children early how to take care of themselves emotionally could save a lot of sadness and anxiety.

Grace x

 

 

Why Are We So Obsessed With Labels?

Why Are We So Obsessed With Labels?

No I don’t mean designer labels, that’s a completely different blog post.

Labels are used for other people to recognise you with, whether you want one or not you will be labelled. This can be the case whether you are labelled because of a mental illness, a choice in sexuality or gender or because of your personality.

As humans we like to split people up into their own stereotypes or classifications  due top the labels being used. We have all done it at some stage and maybe we need to learn how to be less judgemental.

Sometimes people label others because it makes them feel superior in some way. Especially if the labels are having a negative effect on the person who has to hear them. This kind of thing is what starts bullying.

People feel a sense of fear related to things they don’t quite understand. Whether that be an unknown mental illness, a race, a sexuality or how some people act. Whatever it happens to be that is different, that scares us so to make us feel better, we label it. In reality labels are there to make the unknown a little less frightening.

We are in a society where we are constantly told to “Be Yourself” yet we continuously try to conform to all these labels. It’s ironic that we are always stating that our race, sexuality or gender doesn’t define who we are, yet as soon as we show a “flaw” we blame it on our labels. “Oh, sorry for being so emotional. That’s what happens when your star sign is Cancer.”

Why are we so obsessed with being perfect?

One of my pet hates is when people do one minor thing unlike “normal” behaviour and then say “Oh, I’m probably a bit OCD” or “Yeah I probably have ADHD or something”.

No. If you really thought you had any of these behavioural or mental difficulties you would have seen someone about it and got a proper diagnosis.

It’s even worse when parents excuse their child’s naughty behaviour because they throw whatever label works at the time. I’m not talking about those who have actually been diagnosed with something, I’m talking about those parents in denial about their child’s behaviour. Sorry to disappoint but your child is just a pain in the arse and needs to be disciplined.

If you have been diagnosed with something or associate yourself with a different gender or sexuality don’t feel people have to treat you differently because of it. If someone is treating you with a lack of respect, let them know you dislike it.

Grace x

 

 

What is Lucid Dreaming?

What is Lucid Dreaming?

Lucid dreaming is where you are dreaming but know you are having a dream at the time. It’s any experience you are aware of during the REM stage of your sleep. People tend to want to begin to lucid dream as they want to experience things they would never be able to in real life e.g. fly through the sky or taste fire.

We’re not normally aware that we are dreaming but lucid dreaming is the only exception where you are conscious enough to become aware. Lucid dreamers will remember who they are and be able to act purposely in this vivid, possibly lifelike, world.

Within that world a person will try to manipulate their dreams. Lucid dreamers beginners try to attempt to control any actions in their dreams. They will also try to do things that aren’t possible in reality. Researchers have found that the brain waves of those lucid dreaming have a “hybrid state of consciousness”.

Everyone has dreams, even if we can’t remember them, therefore everyone should be able to lucid dream. Researchers have found that everyone will have at least one lucid dream in their life, even if it is by accident.

The first time doing lucid dreaming will always be the most difficult but over time it will get easier. There are several things you can do that will help with lucid dreaming. These include:

  • Keeping a dream journal. Just write a couple of sentences of your dreams every night, even just the ordinary ones.
  • Doing reality checks. All this involves is every few hours, no matter where you are, just ask yourself “Am I dreaming?”. To prove to yourself that you are not dreaming pinch yourself. Or try reading some text as in dreams you can’t read for more than a few seconds.
  • Staying focused. In order to be conscious in your dream world you have to be conscious in your real world. All this involves is really taking in what you feel, see, taste and hear in your every day life.
  • Telling yourself you’re about to dream all the things you will see when falling asleep. Say it out loud just minutes before you fall asleep.

There have said to be benefits of lucid dreaming, including, improvement of problem solving skills, improving memory and self-confidence and reducing the amount of nightmares experienced. Although lucid dreaming is normally harmless, people can lose a sense of reality and can even bring back any pre-existing mental illnesses.

Grace x

 

 

The Different Kinds of Toxic People

The Different Kinds of Toxic People

Unfortunately there are people in this world who grow up constantly being that bully on the school playground. However that bully at school will, at the most, give you a few bruises or spread some lies about you round your class mates. Whereas the toxic people you meet later on in life can really break you.

They will harass and control you. This unnecessary stress can cause some problems later on in life. Those who are in a relationship with a toxic person tend to spend their time bending and changing to make the relationship work with the other person.

In cases like these the victim hasn’t “allowed” anything to happen. Toxic people are toxic by nature and the victim couldn’t have done anything to stop, prevent or know it was going to happen. Here are a few kinds of toxic people and the behaviour to look out for.

The Egotist:

Those who are full of themselves believe they are better, even superior, than everyone else. Being with someone who treats you with a lack of respect will ruin your personal development. Arrogant people will just intimidate and annoy you.

The Envious:

When you have made a victory they would much rather be part of your success than be with you. Though they may seem happy about your achievement, they will have a hidden resentment. You want to have supporters for your low and high times, however this kind of toxic person will never be happy for you. Ever.

The Pretentious:

They only tend to stay with you when it suits them. As soon as you need any kind of help they will vanish. They can’t be relied on and due to this, your relationship will have certain boundaries.

The Reverse:

These type of people tend to make you take a step backward than any forward. They ruin any kind of progress and make you go back to your habits from before. They want you to be the same person you were. This type of toxic person can sometimes be hard to pin point. But just remember to always focus on what you want for the future, no matter what anyone else thinks.

The Judgemental:

They will criticise you for every little thing you do rather than appreciate what you have done right. They aren’t good listeners. You could take the time to explain what it is you are trying to achieve and none of it will be taken in. Trying to ignore their negative talk will help.

The Controller:

They are control freaks. They are also quite sly and will manipulate you to fulfil their desires. This kind of toxic person can also be a terrible listener as they believe they know everything and know what’s good for everyone and so won’t bother. These ones are quite hard to change and so might as well leave when you can.

The Liar:

Everyone lies and lies are common. However if someone is constantly lying, it get’s to the point where you don’t know whether you can trust them anymore. You can’t trust liars and it is hard to count on them because you can never tell if they are being honest or not.

The Gossiper:

These insecure people will twist facts and information. They may be doing this kind of behaviour to fit in or to get attention. These people are cancerous and cause more problems than what it is worth to have them in your life.

The Parasite:

These negative people will drain you of all your positive energy. They thrive on everyone around them being down. They tend not to be supportive in anything you do and will point out where you can fail. Their intentions are based purely on their self-interest.

The Victim:

The victim will never take responsibility for anything and will constantly blame others for their actions and mistakes. This finger-pointing can cause a domino effect when it comes to the blame game.

There is your list of the toxic people you may meet in your life. You can have toxic people anywhere in life, such as a relationship, friendship or work colleagues. One person could even be a mixture of those names above.

Some of these toxic people are a lot worse than others but even way you should avoid people with any of these characteristics.

Grace x