Why Do We Need Underwear That Prevents Sexual Assault?

Why Do We Need Underwear That Prevents Sexual Assault?

There’s this video that has been all over social media recently that shows this new underwear, a company has made, that will apparently prevent anyone from sexually assaulting you. If you haven’t seen it yet here it is.

I think it’s great that we now have things in place to prevent situations, such as rape, however I do have one question.

Why don’t we just stop people committing such crimes in the first place?

The message I got from this video is “if you wear this underwear you should have no need to complain”. Why are the victims made to wear some protective armour over their crotch just because some people have no control over their behaviours?

The problem with producing clothing that prevents rape and sexual assault is that it teaches society that it is the victim’s responsibility to avoid rape rather than blaming the rapists themselves. I don’t know about anyone else but I want to feel safe and comfortable in my own clothes and not have to worry about some vagina locking underwear.

The company’s tagline they use to try to get you to buy their product is “A clothing line offering wearable protection for when things go wrong”.

Firstly, this sentence is describing  rape almost like an everyday accident. Spilling coffee on my trousers is what I’d describe as “things going wrong”. Rape is something I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy’s life.

Also after watching the video I’ve noticed how tight and uncomfortable the underwear looks. Why should we have to suffer discomfort just because some people can’t keep it in their pants?

The product itself also isn’t the most helpful as it is only designed for women and girls and although the majority of rape or sexual assault cases are done to women, unfortunately men suffer too.

One of the features of this underwear that make it preventive of rape is that there is a lock on the waist band that you assign a combination to and open or close it, almost like a locker. Knowing me I’d forget my combination and would be stuck in the underwear.

All in all whilst I think it’s a good idea and possibly a useful product I still think society should stop blaming victims. It’s why a lot of rape or sexual assault cases go about unresolved because victims leave the situation thinking “it was my fault anyway”.

I think children at a young age should be taught how to respect one another and then we wouldn’t even need the underwear.

Grace x

 

 

 

Can You Hear Its Heart Beat?

Can You Hear Its Heart Beat?

The news story about Trump signing the Order on the Abortion Policy went viral as it now means that the funding for abortions will be dramatically reduced. As you can imagine, this made a few people just slightly upset, as many health groups will be threatened.

In all honesty, I think more of us should be anti-abortion.

Now hear me out before I get a stampede of haters. There is only one reason a couple or woman decides to have an abortion; because they don’t want the baby.

There is now a possibility of two reasons for not wanting the baby, the first one being that the parents have gone through various testing and found that the baby has a high chance of getting a certain genetic disease or illness that may or may not be life threatening. I understand that first reason for those parents wanting to have an abortion; it involves a lot of hard work and heart-break. If you are not financially or emotionally ready to deal with caring for a child with a genetic disorder, that’s understandable. Having an abortion in this case doesn’t make you horrible parents or murderers, it just makes you logical and reasonable thinkers.

However, the second reason for not wanting the baby is well, because you didn’t want the baby.

If you are old enough to be having sex than I think you are mature enough to work out the consequences of having sex. It actually disgusts me when I hear that teenagers have already had multiple abortions. Even if you were stupid enough to not be on a pill of some kind or not use condoms, they have the morning after pill for situations like this.

Abortion is not a form of contraception.

You’re either completely incompetent or just lazy if you think it is and I don’t know what is worse.

I understand there are those rare occurrences where whatever contraception you are using hasn’t worked, but most types are 97% effective or more if used properly.

If you were never planning to have a baby then you should have prepared yourself for it being unlikely to happen. It’s ok holding up signs that say “Her body, her choice!”, but what about the baby’s choice?

When you have an abortion the maximum number of weeks you can have it is at 24 weeks pregnant. 24 weeks is just over 5 months pregnant.

Your baby had a bloody heart beat.

The baby you decided to abort could have grown up to be absolutely anything. It could have had children of its own. It could have travelled the world. It could have become successful in its favourite hobby.

But instead it was an unwanted foetus inside of you.

Grace x

 

Is Being Unhappy A Choice?

Is Being Unhappy A Choice?

I try to be a happy person most of the time, however like some I have my down days where I feel emotionally drained and unmotivated to do anything. These days where I feel my worst are also the days I just want to curl up into a little ball and cry.

Is it the fact I am constantly reminding myself that I feel miserable by trying to find this “happiness” that causes my unhappiness?

Happiness is quite a difficult thing to measure and therefore it is hard to become something when the definition is very vague.

Another thing that tends to cause unhappiness is self-worth. Self-worth is basically how much someone thinks they are worth as a person. Obviously the lower your self-worth is the more unhappy you tend to be. If you constantly compare yourself to others who are around you and see yourself as all of your imperfections, then yes you may feel sad from time to time.

The assumption of human behaviour is that people go out to seek pleasure and avoid pain, evolutionary it is how we have been designed. However there are people out there who will use absolutely anything as an excuse to be unhappy. Sometimes what happens is people are almost competing against one another on “Who Has The Shittest Life?”

Is it because people enjoy feeling unhappy or that they are scared to feel joy?

Psychologists have found that some people who tend to enjoy watching horror films also tend to be happy when they are unhappy.

Happiness is complicated and people find it in different situations. In difficult situations optimists can still find a way to feel happy about what is going on and some will always be unhappy despite having everything in front of them.

In some cases happiness can be a choice as we choose our reactions, behaviours and how things impact us. But unfortunately there are many people who suffer from mental health problems, which decide to control our feelings. People don’t choose to be depressed or anxious, it just so happens they are.

Grace x

Is Being Attractive Overrated?

Is Being Attractive Overrated?

When I was in my early teens, and was attending an all girls school, a lot of my year were obsessing over boys and wanting a boyfriend, as you’d expect. The advice I used to get from my peers is that to get a boy’s attention I needed to look attractive, to wear makeup, wear pretty clothes and reveal some cleavage to distract them from your ugly face.

Unfortunately for me I had terrible acne that no amount of makeup could hide and I had the same size boobs as an average eleven year old till I was about sixteen. I constantly went home after school and would search the internet for remedies of how to get rid of acne and porn star boobs over night.

From about the age of fourteen I had seen girls in my year getting boy after boy and the rest of us waiting for someone to take notice. I saw those girls as being attractive, they either had a good-looking face or a well proportioned body. Or both if they were lucky.

I had a couple of boys take interest in me whilst at school and I would leap into their arms because I didn’t think I could get anything else. But like most meaningless relationships they tended to end after a few months.

The only other thing that got boy’s attention besides being attractive was to be the “cool chick”. What I mean by that is that you were up for everything and anything. This often meant doing things that were outside of my comfort zone.

I was never one of those girls that would make guys stare as I walked past. So I tried being a “cool chick” because I thought it was my only option to stand out. To make guys go “Wow, she’s pretty cool”.

To cut a long story short, it doesn’t work. You end up doing things you’re not necessarily into just because you’re scared of someone leaving you. You end up creating the wrong kind of attention. And it still causes meaningless relationships.

I had this negative mind-set of feeling unattractive. Until I started college.

When I was sixteen I had my school prom and in order to fit into my dress I had to lose a bit of weight after stress eating for GCSEs. When  I started college in September my body was used to not eating and this weight kept coming off. My acne had also calmed down at this point and I felt attractive for the first time since the beginning of my teens.

I had people tell me how pretty I was and how they wished they had my body. Deep down I knew I wasn’t just skinny, I was underweight. But I was getting the attention that I had always wanted. I didn’t want to change what I was doing otherwise I’d put on weight and become unattractive again.

And then I met my boyfriend.

The first few months of our relationship involved him telling me to eat and saying that it wouldn’t matter if I put on weight. Slowly but surely all the weight I had lost I put back on, thanks to free pizza.

That brings us to today. My boyfriend and I have been together over two years, I’m still at a reasonable weight, I don’t particularly get acne anymore and I can’t be bothered with makeup. Also I have now gained my dream set of porn star boobs.

In answer to the question of this blog post, it is overrated. I spent so much of my time trying to better myself where it wasn’t needed. When you find the right person they will find you attractive even if you don’t think so yourself. I still have days where I look in the mirror and wish I was better looking some how but for the most part I’d say anyone is lucky to be with me.

Grace x

 

Why I Don’t Want Kids.

Why I Don’t Want Kids.

After growing up as one of six siblings, and being the middle child, I have been able to see my parents deal with the experiences that come with parenthood.

And all I have to say is, I’ll pass.

I know what you’re thinking. I’m only 18 how can I be so sure whether I want children or not?. You’re right, I’m not 100% sure whether I want to have kids or not. But for now and any point in the nearby future that I can reach, I don’t see myself having or wanting children.

Who knows maybe it will hit me in my 30s and suddenly I will feel the urge to give birth to tall, socially anxious and sarcastic little arseholes.

However, it turns out I’m not the only one who doesn’t want children. Research has shown that during the years 2007 to 2012 the birth rates of those in their 20s declined by 15%. This doesn’t necessarily mean fewer people are having children, it just suggests people are having them later.

Although many women suffer from a lot of criticism when they state they don’t want children. Because, according to society, the main purpose of a woman’s life is to give birth and populate the world. Unfortunately, that’s not the only reason women are on this planet.

As soon as a woman mentions that she doesn’t want children she is called selfish. She is told that she will change her mind and some people even go as far as suggesting that women only have sex to have children. Which isn’t the case.

If you’re not in the financial position to raise children why should anyone force you to bring a child into this world? These children would be missing out on things that they could easily have if they had the right sources. For example, people in their 20s may still be paying off university debts or living off student loans.

If someone suffers from a genetic mental or physical health problem and knows how much of a struggle it is to live with, they may not want children as there could be a chance of passing their unfortunate genetics onto this innocent child. Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety can be genetic. Depending on the severity of the illness, suicide could be a possible option for sufferers.

Another thing is if someone suffers from a mental health problem they may not be mentally capably of rasing a child in the first place, depending on the severity of the illness.

We are constantly told that over-population could be a threat to the world so why would you force people to add to the ever-growing number?

Some people may not be able to naturally have children of their own. This means if someone states they don’t want children it may not be because of a choice of their own and therefore you keep on interrogating them will only upset them. Obviously those who can’t have children naturally but do want children have the options of either adoption or surrogacy.

Pregnancy a pain! I don’t know about most women but I definitely know that the idea of holding a baby for nine months and then giving birth to it doesn’t sound like my cup of tea.

The main problem that sometimes stops people having children is the fact it is so easy to mess up when parenting. This tiny person you create is dependent on your healthy choices. And whilst women who don’t want children are called selfish maybe they aren’t.

I mean I can barely look after myself let alone anyone else.

There are many reasons why people want or don’t want children. At the end of the day they shouldn’t need a reason. It’s their body, their life and their choices.

None of which have anything to do with your opinion.

Grace x

 

 

 

Maybe Your Comfort Zone Isn’t So Comfortable.

Maybe Your Comfort Zone Isn’t So Comfortable.

Most people aren’t where they want to be in life because of their comfort zone.

Your comfort zone is this little bubble, where life is bliss and easy. You’ve made yourself at home in this comfort zone, you’ve got a bed, bean bag, blankets, things that make it comfortable.

Obviously otherwise it would have been called the uncomfortable zone.

It’s easy to live a repetitive life, to carry on what you are doing. You stay doing what causes the least friction in your life. Staying in your comfort zone won’t necessarily make your life miserable but you just won’t achieve any progress, making your life dull.

If you aren’t willing to take risks you will never know how things are going to work out. We end up finding what our true self is by taking risks and doing something that may scare you. Every so often do something you wouldn’t normally do and if it doesn’t work out at least you can say you tried.

“Don’t follow well-lit paths, grab a machete and hack your own”. You will learn and experience more things if you move away from the comfort zone. Don’t become a sheep and follow what the rest of the flock is doing. Do something that makes you stand out.

Image result for comfort zone

When faced with difficulties or obstacles people tend to postpone their goals because they don’t face the challenge head on. The comfort zone can stop you achieving your dreams. Being brave enough to overcome these problems will be a step out of the comfort zone and onto further success.

Some people enjoy routines, they are warm and cosy like an old pair of slippers. But after a while of this same routine, the excitement of your life is gone, and you end up turning into some who is bored, lazy and content.

It may be satisfying having a routine but you are preventing from anything new in your life. You end up wasting time and turning down opportunities because you think you don’t need them.

The unknown may be terrifying for some of us to even think about but it is where dreams are made. You can stay in your comfort zone and wish for a better life.

Or go out and make it a better life.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

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Emotion Vs. Rationality

Emotion Vs. Rationality

When it comes to decision-making many people suggest you have to be logical and can’t let emotions get in the way. You have to be rational and therefore ignore what your heart is feeling and focus on what your brain is thinking.

If certain emotions, such as anger or jealously, get in the way of any decision you may end up thinking illogically.

What many people fail to understand is that no one is suggesting that emotions are a substitute to logical thoughts, you have to balance the use of both emotions and logic in order to make a successful conclusion.

Even when people believe they are using just logic to make a decision, they probably aren’t. When it comes to humans making moral judgments we are all susceptible to emotions. Whether we want to be or not.

Image result for emotions vs rationality

In terms of being persuasive, we can use only logic or only emotion, but it would have a short termed effect. Using both emotion and logic would have a better effect. With logic being the foundation to the use of emotions, people react with emotions and then would justify their actions with facts and evidence.

Psychologists in the past believed that in order to make a decision about something you had to care about it in the first place. This meant that your rationality was a slave to your emotions. Which is pretty much how it works today.

Emotions are somewhat necessary to rational reasoning. The ironic thing is that without emotional our conclusions are irrational and absurd.

There have been researchers in the past who studied people who had suffered brain damage, damage to the part that dealt with emotions. What the researchers found is that these people who had suffered the brain damage, couldn’t make decisions, they could describe things in logical terms, but without emotions they couldn’t make decisions. Even simple things like what to eat.

Therefore doesn’t this study suggest that as well as being rational you must have emotions in order to make a decision. Without the impulsive need or urge for something how can we work out what we want?

Grace x