Stop Joking About Pregnancy on April Fools

Stop Joking About Pregnancy on April Fools

It’s the first of April tomorrow, which means it is April Fools. For those who don’t know what April Fools is, it’s a day where people try to succeed in doing funny pranks on people. For example, sticking a bunch of sticky notes so that it covers someone’s car. Whilst it is a mild inconvenience and isn’t massively hilarious to the person who owns the car, it is harmless.

And that’s what these pranks should be. Harmless.

Nowadays, people tend to do their pranks based on social media. They will post something on a social media platform that won’t be true and see how many people fall the gag.

Sometimes people pretend to be pregnant and will go as far as posting a fake ultrasound picture to their social media profiles. Now for the majority of people, this prank will be harmless. But for those who grew up wanting children and not being able to have them, this will hurt.

Think about it. Pretend you are someone who ever since you were younger has always wanted to have a family of your own. You maybe even came up with a couple names and how many you wanted. Now imagine you have spent years of your life trying to conceive with your partner. You go to the doctors, just in case. But you believe you are overreacting and that you’re worrying for nothing. You’re sure this happens to everyone.

Now, imagine how heartbroken you’re going to feel after the doctor tells you you’re infertile. That you will never be able to have children no matter what you do.

A few years down the line you’ve either adopted, used a surrogate mother or given up on having children altogether. It is April the first and you log into your Facebook. A friend is pregnant and even posted a picture of the ultrasound. They never mentioned anything but maybe they just wanted to be sure.

You go to write a comment, congratulating them. Whilst you are jealous that you have never been able to have children of your own, you have to be happy for them. If the circumstances were different they would be happy for you.

As you’re scrolling down the comments you realise that it’s a joke. That your friend pretended to be pregnant for April Fools, thought it would be funny. You are full of so much rage and anger because you’re sat there not being able to have children and it breaks your heart every day and people decide to make a joke out of it.

The prank may seem harmless. But it isn’t harmless to everyone. Unfortunately, life has its ups and downs and not everyone gets what they deserve. You will have people on your social media who can’t have children but want children of their own.

Also, it isn’t the most original prank. Choose something that will make you stand out.

 

So Judge, What Makes Me Vulnerable?

So Judge, What Makes Me Vulnerable?

For those of you who haven’t heard, yet another aggressive man gets away with domestic violence towards his wife because of bullshit reasons. Mustafa Bashir beat his wife, Fakhara Karim, with a bat during a jealous outburst and on a second occasion poured bleach down her throat. But none of that matters apparently because he got away with it. Judge Mansell believed that he wouldn’t be given jail time because she was not vulnerable.

What makes things so much worse is the reason he gives for the wife not being vulnerable. Apparently, being intelligent and having a network of friends makes someone not vulnerable.

I thought this was obvious but I shall point it out anyway, biologically men are built different to women and do tend to be a lot stronger physically. Now, this isn’t me being sexist. This is fact, men are stronger physically than women. Therefore, it doesn’t matter how smart or popular a woman is, if a man is pouring bleach down her throat there isn’t a lot she can do. Even if you were as smart as fucking Einstein, you’re still pretty much screwed.

And people wonder why there are so many domestic violence stories that never get told about. The victims are probably scared of being told that it was their fault. Every time someone gets away with crimes involving sexual or physical abuse to another person for stupid reasons, people are less likely to confide in anyone when it happens to them. Next thing you know the judge says that her clothing was giving the impression she was asking for bleach to be poured down her throat.

This case is giving out quite a dangerous message. First, it is suggesting that if someone is intelligent and has friends, they can’t ever be sexually or physically abused. Whether or not a person has friends or intelligence doesn’t make a difference. If someone is put in a situation where they can’t escape and there is a possibility of being harmed, either physically or emotionally, then that person is vulnerable. This case will also make it hard for victims in the future as they will feel that the authorities won’t believe them.

There are still some myths about domestic violence that people believe. It isn’t a certain gender or race that is targeted; it can happen to anyone. It also doesn’t matter what social class or how much money a family has, again it can happen to anyone. I promise you this, if something like this has happened to you it isn’t your fault. It doesn’t matter whether you have friends, are smart or are wearing bright pink hot pants; it is never your fault.

 

Why Don’t Straight People “Come Out”?

Why Don’t Straight People “Come Out”?

People who are either bisexual or gay have to do this excruciating event, called ‘Coming Out’. This normally involves getting the relevant family members and telling them personal matters that don’t involve their input. Or you can do what I did and blog about your sexuality and hope your parents read the relevant posts. I mainly did this because I can’t form sentences correctly when talking about things that make me nervous. That is why I am a writer and not a public speaker.

Some family members either already knew it or are fine with it. Unfortunately, some are massively homophobic and some believe you can change. It isn’t like I’m asking whether this dress looks good on me. I didn’t ask for your opinion, I was merely letting you know of the facts.

Youtubers sometimes use their sexuality as a way to get views. They will sit in front of the camera and tell all their fans that they are gay or bisexual, maybe even shed a tear if possible. In all honesty, some of the Youtubers that did do videos of them “Coming Out”, I already guessed were gay.

“But, Grace how many times have you done blog posts that mention your bisexuality?”

Yes, I have done a couple of pieces about my sexuality and I’m not going to lie, it does get me an average of more views than most posts but then I have an advantage that Youtubers don’t. A blog is basically a public journal for online. In any journal or diary, you write about yourself. So, I am allowed to write about my sexuality as many times as I want, I’m not forcing you to read it.

Anyway, the whole reason this topic came to my mind is because I saw a video on Youtube that Buzzfeed did a couple of years back titled “If Straight People Had to Come Out”. It is pretty hilarious but it did get me thinking, why don’t straight people have to come out?

I think it is mainly because it is more common to be straight. And unless you are extremely camp and radiate gay, until you come out people assume you are straight. Religious people also believe that being gay is a sin. Therefore, that may be another reason why straight people don’t have to come out.

The real reason straight people don’t have to come out is because it is considered the norm.

It doesn’t effect anything in your life. For example, you can still have children the same without worrying about either adoption or sperm donors. You are not doing anything sinful and none of the Gods, wherever they happen to be, will be angry.

I was considered straight for quite a while as I wasn’t sure it was necessary to tell people I was bisexual and one thing I noticed which seems quite stupid, is the whole being gay and proud thing. You can put it on social media, wear a top or do whatever and state to everyone that you are gay and proud. Obviously, because not everyone is comfortable with people being gay or bisexual, some people have had more of a struggle when it comes to family members and coming out. When you do say I’m gay and proud, you are also saying that you don’t care what other people think and you’re happy the way you are.

However, if you are straight and proud, apparently, that isn’t allowed. It is more socially acceptable to be straight and therefore straight people aren’t allowed to be proud because they haven’t been through enough shit. Gay people please get off your high horse. Anyway, can be proud of whatever sexuality or gender they are. There are no written rules on who can or cannot be proud.

Moral of the story don’t assume anything. It will make you look stupid if you happen to have the wrong end of the stick.

Stand Up and Take Responsibility For What Is Yours

Stand Up and Take Responsibility For What Is Yours

Now before I begin writing this piece, I will admit that I am no expert in psychology and neither have I had any experience with what I am about to write about. This is purely opinion that I hope more than just me agrees with it.

If you create a child and put them into this world, I think you need to take some responsibility. Whether you are the mum or the dad I believe both play a vital role in a child’s development, both mentally and physically.

I’m not talking about giving child support money to your partner after you leave, I’m talking about physically being there for your child.

I’m also not talking about someone dying from an unexpected and unavoidable situation. I’m talking about someone who is capable of looking after their child and chooses to get up and leave.

I am fortunate enough to have never been without both my parents the whole of my life, so I don’t know whether I am making more of a fuss than is needed. It is also dependent on various factors, such as the age of the child, whether the child even met the parent, if the child had siblings and so on. For example, if the child never even met the parent then they wouldn’t know what they were missing and therefore the situation would possibly affect them less.

Another thing, which I know is a sensitive topic among a lot of people, is whether the mum has a more important role in a child’s life than a dad. Now I’m not saying if a child’s dad left them for whatever reason the child wouldn’t be upset. They would. What I’m saying is that the child may be affected more socially and emotionally by a mum leaving. No matter how unmaternal a mother is, after giving birth a mum and her child will create this bond which I don’t think you can have with your dad. Mums tend to be more inclined to stay and care for their new-born because of this bond. Which is why it is rare to see a mum leave her children, however it still happens.

Whilst I know this would never happen and I wouldn’t even know how they would test it, I think there should be a test for new parents before they have children to make sure they are ready for the commitment and responsibility. There are people out there dying to have children who can’t. Then there are people who have children but treat them as if they wish they hadn’t.

I have no experience in having children and probably never will. Surprisingly I am a very maternal person and I absolutely love children. When they’re behaving. Unfortunately, I am impatient and have a short temper. But at least I am being honest with myself, I don’t think I could have children.

The few people I know who have had a parent leave them may seem fine but I think it affects them more than they are willing to show. It is not necessarily obvious, but it is little things I’ve noticed that they do differently to the majority of people. Who knows, maybe the things I am noticing are genetic and so whether the parent left them or not they would have been the same.

Those who don’t have a mother on Mother’s Day or a father on Father’s Day because they left you, my thoughts are with you on those days. Like I said before I am quite maternal and things like this infuriate me so much.

Are Waist Trainers Even That Good?

Are Waist Trainers Even That Good?

Recently, I have seen a lot of articles popping up on social media about waist trainers. My first thought when I first saw them was, “What a load of bullshit, these can’t be any good for your body”. So, I did some research and I was right they don’t do your body any good in all honesty.

For those who don’t know, waist training is when you wear a type of corset for several months that creates an exaggerated hourglass figure. As the corset gets tighter and tighter it is able to pull the woman’s floating ribs and even rearrange her internal organs to reduce the circumference of her waist. Traditionally, you had steel-boned corsets but recently we have latex waist cinchers which women tend to wear as part of their workout routine. The results are semi-permanent, so even once the hourglass figure is achieved you have to continue wearing it anyway.

Companies selling the waist trainers also claim that you will lose fat and weight from your waist, metabolise fat and reduce your daily food intake.

The problem with that statement is that most of the waist trainers nowadays are made out of latex. If you’ve ever had to wear latex gloves, you’ll realise that the material makes you sweat very easily. If you are then trying to work out wearing the waist trainer, you’ll lose water weight from the sweat rather than fat. Therefore, as soon as you go to drink water or eat carbs, you’ll put the weight back on.

Another thing is that they state you can lose fat from your waist and make it smaller. However, you can’t pick and choose where you lose weight. The only reason you would lose weight whilst using the waist trainer is because you’re shrinking the size of your stomach so that you are reducing your daily food intake. Whilst that might sound great it is always healthier to stick to a diet rather causing damage to your body just to look good. It is like when people diet they tend to lose weight all round instead of one particular area. It is also not permanent, so after a while, your body will go back to the shape it was.

The thing that struck me is that there are so many obvious signs to suggest that these things will have a negative impact on your body. You are literally trying to fit your internal organs into a smaller space. This means wearing a waist trainer for a long-term period can cause digestive problems, rib damage and difficulty breathing. Especially if you decide to use it whilst working out. This is because your lungs won’t have the space they need to expand and therefore you won’t be producing another oxygen to work out. You’ll slowly be suffocating yourself as you deprive your body of oxygen.

Unfortunately, as much as we all want the hourglass figure, with the small stomach but big bust and hips, it isn’t possibly. Even the most athletic don’t necessarily have the hourglass figure, you either have the genetics or you don’t. A piece of material won’t change that.

Mobile Phones Are Like New Relationships

Mobile Phones Are Like New Relationships

The first year of getting your new phone is the best times you have with your new phone. They are amazing and all you could have asked for in a phone.

Your phone is the best-looking phone that you’ve seen and you’re always telling people how you love its slim body.

After having the phone for a few months, you get attached to it. You are constantly spending time with them and even spend less time with your friends so you can spend more time with your phone.

Even when you do spend time with your friends you are constantly talking about your new phone and how great it is. You start to become quite antisocial with it comes to your friends.

When you do mess up, you do what you can to fix it. You’ll spend what you can to repair the phone because it means so much to you and you can’t see yourself without it.

But after a while, things start to go wrong.

It doesn’t work as well. It is quite slow and doesn’t do what you tell it to do anymore. You’re forever shouting at it as it always makes you angry. You start even shouting at it in public.

You tell your friends how much you hate it and how you started looking at newer models. They look better than your one and probably work a lot better too.

After a while of dealing with the chaos, you’ve had enough and decide to buy yourself a new phone. Which starts the cycle again.

We live in a society where you upgrade your phone every two years, so why stay in a relationship any longer? People get bored or feel it is not working out and instead of trying to fix it, they chuck it all away. Suddenly, those two, five, ten or even twenty years mean nothing.

Whilst phones and relationships all obviously different scenarios, if you look closely they are almost the same. People upgrade their phone after the two-year contract even though the phone is still working, just because they have been told they can.

They want the latest and greatest and they couldn’t care less about their old phone.

Nowadays, young adults jump from relationship to relationship because they can. Whilst there are some exceptions, most the time it is due to something that can be fixed. Like a broken phone screen.

People just don’t want to put in the effort required to fix something that can be resolved.

We Live. We Die. What Is The Point?

We Live. We Die. What Is The Point?

As most of us have probably worked out by now, death is going to happen no matter what we do. So why do we bother, if we are all going to die in the end anyway?

Think about it in terms of chocolate. If you had unlimited chocolate, how would you feel? I’m sure the first few bites would be the best feelings in the world. But the more you eat the more uncomfortable it gets.

Say if we were immortal, it would probably be great for the first couple hundred years and then you’ll start questioning everything. What is the point in living forever? Once you have achieved everything you wanted to, what is the point in continuing to live?

Whilst in education I developed the mind-set of that we spend all our lives in school to then work ourselves to death. Not to mention those who grow up to have a family and you’re then made to deal with their shit too.

We have no purpose but we have no density either. This means you can do absolutely anything with the time you have been given.

Back to the chocolate analogy, there is no purpose in eating the chocolate. Apart from enjoyment. However, this is a subjective purpose. So I may enjoy eating the chocolate and you may enjoy eating the chocolate but in different ways.

Another way of thinking is with all the technology in the world no phone, laptop or computer lasts forever. However when you brought your phone you were probably aware that it wasn’t going to last forever and at one point it would die on you.

So if it is not going to last forever, why waste your money buying it? You got it in the moment and during the time you were using the device, it would be working at its full potential. There is no point keeping a machine that no longer works the way it used to.

That’s how life works. Nothing lasts forever, including us.

One thing to bear in mind is that once we do die, we pass out of existence. Therefore there is no objective meaning to anyone’s life. So whether you turn out to be like Hitler or Mother Teresa, once you are dead no one can hold you accountable.