Now before I begin writing this piece, I will admit that I am no expert in psychology and neither have I had any experience with what I am about to write about. This is purely an opinion that I hope more than just me agrees with it.
If you create a child and put them into this world, I think you need to take some responsibility. Whether you are the mum or the dad I believe both play a vital role in a child’s development, both mentally and physically.
I’m not talking about giving child support money to your partner after you leave, I’m talking about physically being there for your child.
I’m also not talking about someone dying from an unexpected and unavoidable situation. I’m talking about someone who is capable of looking after their child and chooses to get up and leave.
I am fortunate enough to have never been without both my parents the whole of my life, so I don’t know whether I am making more of a fuss than is needed. It is also dependent on various factors, such as the age of the child, whether the child even met the parent, if the child had siblings and so on. For example, if the child never even met the parent then they wouldn’t know what they were missing and therefore the situation would possibly affect them less.
Another thing, which I know is a sensitive topic among a lot of people, is whether the mum has a more important role in a child’s life than a dad. Now I’m not saying if a child’s dad left them for whatever reason the child wouldn’t be upset. They would. What I’m saying is that the child may be affected more socially and emotionally by a mum leaving. No matter how unmaternal a mother is, after giving birth a mum and her child will create this bond which I don’t think you can have with your dad. Mums tend to be more inclined to stay and care for their new-born because of this bond. Which is why it is rare to see a mum leave her children, however it still happens.
Whilst I know this would never happen and I wouldn’t even know how they would test it, I think there should be a test for new parents before they have children to make sure they are ready for the commitment and responsibility. There are people out there dying to have children who can’t. Then there are people who have children but treat them as if they wish they hadn’t.
I have no experience in having children and probably never will. Surprisingly I am a very maternal person and I absolutely love children. When they’re behaving. Unfortunately, I am impatient and have a short temper. But at least I am being honest with myself, I don’t think I could have children.
The few people I know who have had a parent leave them may seem fine but I think it affects them more than they are willing to show. It is not necessarily obvious, but it is little things I’ve noticed that they do differently to the majority of people. Who knows, maybe the things I am noticing are genetic and so whether the parent left them or not they would have been the same.
Those who don’t have a mother on Mother’s Day or a father on Father’s Day because they left you, my thoughts are with you on those days. Like I said before I am quite maternal and things like this infuriate me so much.