Why Don’t Straight People “Come Out”?

People who are either bisexual or gay have to do this excruciating event, called ‘Coming Out’. This normally involves getting the relevant family members and telling them personal matters that don’t involve their input. Or you can do what I did and blog about your sexuality and hope your parents read the relevant posts. I mainly did this because I can’t form sentences correctly when talking about things that make me nervous. That is why I am a writer and not a public speaker.

Some family members either already knew it or are fine with it. Unfortunately, some are massively homophobic and some believe you can change. It isn’t like I’m asking whether this dress looks good on me. I didn’t ask for your opinion, I was merely letting you know of the facts.

Youtubers sometimes use their sexuality as a way to get views. They will sit in front of the camera and tell all their fans that they are gay or bisexual, maybe even shed a tear if possible. In all honesty, some of the Youtubers that did do videos of them “Coming Out”, I already guessed were gay.

“But, Grace how many times have you done blog posts that mention your bisexuality?”

Yes, I have done a couple of pieces about my sexuality and I’m not going to lie, it does get me an average of more views than most posts but then I have an advantage that Youtubers don’t. A blog is basically a public journal for online. In any journal or diary, you write about yourself. So, I am allowed to write about my sexuality as many times as I want, I’m not forcing you to read it.

Anyway, the whole reason this topic came to my mind is that I saw a video on Youtube that Buzzfeed did a couple of years back titled “If Straight People Had to Come Out”. It is pretty hilarious but it did get me thinking, why don’t straight people have to come out?

I think it is mainly because it is more common to be straight. And unless you are extremely camp and radiate gay, until you come out people assume you are straight. Religious people also believe that being gay is a sin. Therefore, that may be another reason why straight people don’t have to come out.

The real reason straight people don’t have to come out is that it is considered the norm.

It doesn’t affect anything in your life. For example, you can still have children the same without worrying about either adoption or sperm donors. You are not doing anything sinful and none of the Gods, wherever they happen to be, will be angry.

I was considered straight for quite a while as I wasn’t sure it was necessary to tell people I was bisexual and one thing I noticed which seems quite stupid, is the whole being gay and proud thing. You can put it on social media, wear a top or do whatever and state to everyone that you are gay and proud. Obviously, because not everyone is comfortable with people being gay or bisexual, some people have had more of a struggle when it comes to family members and coming out. When you do say I’m gay and proud, you are also saying that you don’t care what other people think and you’re happy the way you are.

However, if you are straight and proud, apparently, that isn’t allowed. It is more socially acceptable to be straight and therefore straight people aren’t allowed to be proud because they haven’t been through enough shit. Gay people, please get off your high horse. Anyway, can be proud of whatever sexuality or gender they are. There are no written rules on who can or cannot be proud.

Moral of the story don’t assume anything. It will make you look stupid if you happen to have the wrong end of the stick.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

IG: @graciehemphill

17 thoughts on “Why Don’t Straight People “Come Out”?

  1. First, I think this is a great topic – I blog about my sexuality profusely. But it’s not because I’m trying to get likes or views – although, I am an attention whore. For me, it is excruciating to admit “publicly” that I’m bisexual. I can’t find any family members that are pro-LGBT (Well, one…but it’s an aunt that I don’t care for) and I work in an industry that is so not with the times that it has been easier for me to just keep it to myself.
    But, I have seen that video and it’s a crack!
    But I have a theory, that helps me deal with the idea that straight people are not required to come out – the mathematical definition of “normal”. Statistically speaking, straights are more common than LGBT, so it’s not a surprise that people assume other people are straight. Does it make it right? No, I don’t think it does, but it is part of the society we live in.
    All we can do, is have wonderful people like yourself keep the message alive, right? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. There was a time when I used to think “There MUST be more of us”, but then I got to thinking that things are just the way they are…by trying to convince people otherwise would be akin to invalidating the reality of bisexuality.

        Just my opinion, of course, I’m not guru on the subject. 🙂


      2. Yeah, we tend to face the opposition on both sides of the sexuality spectrum. 🙂
        Here’s a bi-5 to you (kinda like a high 5 but for bi’s) 😀


      3. I do my best not to lie – although, 99.9995% of people I know in real life have no idea I’ve been with both guys and girls – the other 0.0005% happen to be the guys I was with 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Haha brilliant. To be honest I’ve noticed that there are two types of bi’s: ones that have to let you know they are bi and ones that don’t. In all honesty the ones that shout about being bisexual are normally doing it for attention

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yes, I agree. Although, I have to admit, I’m a lot older than you are and I am just barely coming to terms with my own sexuality. I come from a time where there was no such things as “bisexual” – you either liked guys or you didn’t. It would not have been respected, at all, if my friends, family, classmates, teachers knew I had been interested in a couple of my friends. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      6. It has obviously got better but even today I can get asked whether I’m just confused. And even worse if I’m becoming bisexual because it’s the new trend. Yeah I was still confused with my feelings in the beginning but at least there was a word for it.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Oh, I get it. I think people imagine the world a certain way and if it doesn’t fit the way they see it then it’s someone else’s problem and not the viewpoint they have.

        I suppressed mine for many years…it was always there…pulling at me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s