Career or Children?

Career or Children?

Most people in their 20s start to plan out their life. Working out when the right time to have children? Or working out what career path to take? And then you must work out what you want to achieve first; a family or a career? For a lot of people beforehand they could have both children and a career.

However, the economy is fucked.

People in their 20s and 30s can’t settle down with anyone because they can’t even move out of their parents’ house. You can’t really plan on having a family in the same place you used masturbate vigorously during those nights as a lonely teen.

As suggested by the lower birth rates a lot of people decide to spend their time and effort focusing on their career rather than having a family.

The prices of houses have continued to rise however, the wages have not. A lot of young adults see owning a house as a goal they would hope to achieve than something they can see happening in the foreseeable future. I should be happy with the amount of money I have been able to save but I’m not, as it is nothing compared to the deposit I shall need to buy a place of my own.

For those who decide to move out into rental accommodation until they have the money to finally own a place of their own, they will become unstuck. I understand there are certain circumstances that mean you have to move out and rent. For example, if you have to be closer to a university, if you are getting kicked out or if you can’t hold back the urge to kill your parents anymore. But if you are just moving out for the sake of moving out instead of saving you shall be spending all your wages on rent.

Not only will you not be in a financially stable position to have children you may be stuck renting a flat or apartment and physically won’t be able to cater for them either.

Before any of you middle to old aged people pipe up, I’m not just moaning for the sake of moaning. This is a serious national problem and it doesn’t matter if we look at moving to Scotland or fucking London we are all struggling.

Whilst I don’t want any children I am scared of the fact I am possibly going into one of the lowest paying jobs ever. Fucking writing. While it may depend on what route I go into it is still pretty low pay compared to other careers. However, I am passionate about writing and therefore the money doesn’t bother me too much. As long as I can move out of my parents’ house before it gets embarrassing, it should be all good.

A lot of young adults who want children are scared that that isn’t an option anymore. You want to be able to give your child the world, not bring them up in a state of constant instability. For many of us, we also have this biological clock ticking in our ears, constantly reminding us that we don’t have all the time in the world to waste.

What makes the least amount of sense is that all the high paying jobs are in the big cities. However, to own a property in one of the big cities is a joke. So a lot of people taking advantage of the better jobs are already financially privileged? Seems a little unfair.

We are constantly being treated like we are whiny bitches that haven’t grown out of our adolescence yet. But in reality, a lot of us crave to be an adult and to gain that independence.

Oh, but don’t worry about me, I’m just a spoilt millennial who is used to always been giving everything I want.

Gracie x

Facebook: graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

IG: @graciehemphill

 

The Reality of Social Media

The Reality of Social Media

I’ve been putting off this topic for ages because I’ve never known how to word it. I also didn’t want to come across as a hypocrite. However, I have recently had a week off work and had a lot of time to think. Think about myself and lifestyle and work out what I need to change. Anyway, back to what I wanted to talk about. Social media.

I got drunk the other night with a couple of my friends, but I didn’t post anything about it on social media, did it really happen?

A lot of people, especially millennials, post things on social media for a reaction. They post pictures to show people how perfect their life is. We all have this fake persona that we use when we are online; the perfect version of ourselves. This version of ourselves is sociable, funny, smart, attractive and flawless.

For those who are extroverted people, social media must be your jackpot. You are constantly out and about. You are able to post pictures on social media showing how many friends you have and how much fun you have. But you are only showing the good bits. You aren’t showing the many mistakes you regret when you were drunk or the crazy hangover in the morning when you look like a solid 2 out of 10 rather than an 11.

If I constantly posted pictures of my Friday nights it would consist of me watching Netflix and eating Domino’s in my sweatpants.

Another example would be I only tweet when I know it is going to be funny so that to all my followers I come across like a hilarious and witty person. I mean I am hilarious but that’s not the point here. There have been many tweets that I haven’t posted due to the fact that they were boring.

Social media was initially made for the user. It is customizable. It is personal. Post whatever you want to. But it has changed to post what will get you the most attention. Post what will get you the most likes.

Likes don’t mean anything. Likes don’t suddenly mean someone cares. You could be the most popular person online but have no one in your real life that actually cares. I’ll give you an example so that you understand a bit more. You know the laughing crying face emoji? The one where you’ve laughed so much you have cried? The last time you used it in a message, were you actually crying from how much you laughed? I’m going to guess no. It is the same with the Like button. You don’t have to actually like anything.

For someone who spends their spare time scrolling through social media, I have one thing to tell you.

No one gives a fuck.

I use social media as a way to spread my blog posts and to share funny pictures and videos that I relate to. Besides that, I don’t use it. I have got to the point where I will even unfriend someone because their posts annoy me so much. The Kings and Queens of social media are self-obsessed, narcissistic creatures. Their profile is a constant stream of images of themselves.

Some people even posts pictures of themselves when they are feeling down or lonely. They hope that the likes will make them feel better. It doesn’t matter if that picture gets 10, 20 or even 100 likes; you will still be a lonely and depressed piece of shit.

I am not posting this because I believe I am a perfect human being. I’m not, although I believe I am very close. I’m also not posting this because I’m telling you what you can or can’t do. I am merely posting this to let people aware of what social media is doing to this generation.

Gracie x

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Facebook: graciehemphill98

IG: @graciehemphill

Review: 13 Reasons Why

Review: 13 Reasons Why

For those who haven’t yet seen “13 Reasons Why” and want to, I would click away now as I can’t promise that there will be any spoilers. Or if you do continue to read you can’t get mad at me for I did warn you.

“13 Reasons Why” is a 13 episode drama on Netflix about how Hannah Baker, a 17-year old girl, takes her own life. Before she died she recorded 13 audiotapes each one blaming her death on someone else and their actions.

I have quite a short attention span and so if a programme is going to have hour long episodes they have to be good, otherwise I get bored. “13 Reasons Why” definitely ticked that box.

When I choose to watch a programme, I want it to make me think. For example, in this case, the programme was about the 13 reasons why she wanted to kill herself. I’ve always wondered what it would have to take to push someone over the edge. People assume it is one traumatic experience and then you’re done. But this programme showed that it is normally a number of little things one after another. I’m sure if Hannah only experienced one or two of the reasons out of the 13 she wouldn’t have killed herself. I also believe if she had experienced all 13 reasons but over a longer space of time she may not have killed herself. I think the majority of people also believe that you have to be mentally ill before you even think about killing yourself. But even the happiest of people could kill themselves if put in the wrong situations.

It was a good, short programme and I don’t think giving it a second season would work. Would it then be called 26 reasons why? Or would we be shown another person’s list of reasons why they killed themselves? There is surely only so many reasons why one would kill themselves.

The tapes start off with Hannah saying that the reason that the person has the tapes is because they are one of the reasons that she killed herself. I believe if someone decides to kill themselves; it is their actions and therefore their fault. Whilst there may have been people in her life that treated her like shit to the point of pushing her to commit suicide, none of them walked up to her and gave her the razor blades themselves. It was all her doing.

Some of the reasons were typical secondary school drama, things that you experience whether you want to or not. Some of the reasons were not everyday problems and I think the mixture of the two would cause anyone grief.

This TV show also showed that sometimes the ones who you love can be the ones who hurt you the most. Clay was reason number 11 and after watching it I’m still not entirely sure he should have been a reason why. Out of everyone, he was the only one who was genuine to Hannah and wasn’t just hanging out with her for his own benefit. Hannah told him to fuck off and he did. She had no reason to get upset for he only did what she stated she wanted. What people tend to do sometimes is they don’t necessarily say what they really mean but still expect you to know what they want. It is stupid and causes problems, which is why I am probably the most honest person you will ever meet.

I understand it is obviously a fictional story but I believe the ending was unrealistic. If a person is truly suicidal I think their parents or teachers or counsellors would have worked it out. I don’t believe you stroll along all happy and out of nowhere end up in a bathtub full of your blood. I think it is a state you gradually put yourself into and if anyone cared even a tiny bit they would have worked out and at least tried to prevent what Hannah did. The counsellor wasn’t asking the right questions and the ones he was asking were very vague.

It is also very difficult to admit when you have been raped or sexually assaulted. I believe someone has been raped or sexually assaulted if they didn’t say yes. It doesn’t matter that she didn’t say no for she never said yes either. I don’t think the counsellor in real life would have been almost blaming her for getting raped.

Besides that, it was a good show to watch and I believe it will make people more aware of suicide and possibly preventing it. The show also tried to suggest that being kinder to people will prevent suicide, however, I disagree. I could be the nicest person to someone if they have it in their head that they want to slit their wrists it doesn’t matter what I say, for they shall do it regardless.

Why Don’t We Congratulate Skinny People For Staying Skinny?

Why Don’t We Congratulate Skinny People For Staying Skinny?

Recently, on social media I have seen a lot of before and after pictures of people who have lost weight to become a slimmer version of themselves. For those who have been able to achieve that, well done. I know staying motivated is hard work sometimes, although it does help to take pictures every so often so you can then see your progress.

I’m referring to those who change up their diet or start doing exercise. Those who resort straight to liposuction I feel are cheating the system. It doesn’t matter how good the plastic surgery was, if you continue your eating and exercise habits the way you are, all that weight will come back on.

As a society, we congratulate overweight people for losing weight but not skinny people for staying skinny, why is that?

Overweight people are clearly doing something wrong to their body, hence the reason they are overweight. Whether they are eating processed and unhealthy foods or whether they are just eating twice the amount they need, it is obviously a problem that can be changed. Not necessarily an easy change but you know what you’re doing wrong. No one is asking you to go the gym every day but if you did something as simple as cutting down on the portion sizes or cutting out ready meals and takeaways, you’ll notice the difference.

However, whilst some skinny people happen to have good genes or a faster metabolism, some just take care of their body and stay the weight they are. If a skinny person tried to take a picture and put it on social media, with a caption that talked about how they have looked after their body all their life and had stayed the weight they have, they wouldn’t get the same congratulations as the former overweight person.

Is it because it looks likes more effort is required to go from fat to skinny rather than from skinny to still skinny?

Think about it. Fat and overweight people get bullied a lot. Whether it is directly or indirectly, overweight people get reminded every day about their figure, how they don’t reach certain standards of beauty and are then seen as possibly unattractive to some people. Also, they sometimes get called lazy or unmotivated. Whilst all this fat-shaming is harsh and unnecessary does it help motivate overweight people to lose weight?

No one is giving skinny people the motivate to stay the weight they are. I am a fairly slim girl, always have been luckily enough. Even when I was at my heaviest, I was still slim and therefore no one really said anything negative. Whilst it may be harsh sometimes people need that push. For example, my drama teacher told me I couldn’t act, whilst it was harsh if it wasn’t for him I would still be trying to become an actress.

I’m not saying going from fat to skinny is any harder than staying skinny or vice versa. However, I would like a little appreciation every so often.

Are You Allowed To Break Up With Someone If They Got Fat?

Are You Allowed To Break Up With Someone If They Got Fat?

Let’s be honest here, the majority of people are attracted to people who are slim and possibly have an athletic build. You don’t hear it often that people want their soul mate to be overweight or fat. However, no one stays the same weight their entire life; sometimes you lose or gain weight and sometimes you struggle to go back to your original weight.

You gained feelings for a person who originally was slim or even average weight. They suddenly get overweight or fat. You don’t necessarily lose all feelings for them, but over time you will become less attracted to them. Because you didn’t fall in love with the overweight figure, you fell in love with the slim one.

There are two parts to any relationship. How much you love someone and how attracted to them you are. You can love someone a lot but not necessarily be attracted to them. And you can find someone very attractive but if you don’t love them, then it will never be anything more than a one night stand. If your significant other gained weight you’d still love them but you’d slowly become less attracted to them. It would be nothing more than a close friendship.

Another thing you have to bear in mind is if you’re a person who lives an active lifestyle how is your fat partner going to be able to join in. Overweight people tend to have a harder time doing any physical exercise, due to the fact that there is more to carry when doing any physical activities. Perhaps when looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend you had to bear in mind that, for example, you liked going on hikes. When your partner was a normal weight it was fine, but now they have gained a few extra pounds it is most likely less enjoyable for them.

I think you can’t straight up break up with someone because they have gained a few pounds. But at the same time, if someone gains enough weight to affect their daily life and doesn’t seem to show any signs of trying to lose it, it is a reason to break up.

For those who are about to argue that looks aren’t everything, I call bullshit. Like I said before there are two parts to every relationship. If you don’t find your partner attractive enough to want to see naked, then I’m sorry you’re not in a relationship.

We are subconsciously trained to find certain qualities attractive because for the majority of us the final aim is to reproduce. For example, most males find females with wide hips attractive as physically they look like they could give birth. People aren’t looking for partners who look like sticks but at the same time, people aren’t looking for partners that look like donuts.

In short, if you are in a relationship and over time get overweight and don’t seem to be losing any of the extra fat, you do risk your partner leaving you.

 

Why Do We Do This?

Why Do We Do This?

After living for nineteen years you see a lot of behaviours that people do that make no sense.

Imagine this scenario, you are out for dinner and you order your food. You wait for your food and start eating. However, you can’t even manage to swallow the first mouth full because it is cold. It isn’t lukewarm and could probably go unnoticed, it is stone cold.   Funnily enough I didn’t realise I had to mention to the waitress that I wanted my chicken burger hot.

The waiter or waitress comes back and asks you how your food is doing. Now, the majority of the UK will do the usual; say it is fine when in reality it could not be any more further away from being fine.

However, if you’ve ever had a meal with my dad; you’ll end up having it sent back three times and still get the meal for free. The only reason he does that is because he’s Scottish. Whilst English people are taught to be polite, Scottish people are taught not to give a fuck.

You are going to have to pay either way, why not pay for something you can at least appreciate?

Most of us, live our lives wanting to avoid confrontational events or arguments with strangers, especially when it is subjective. In this situation, it is your word against the employee on whether the food is cold. Most of time they will just get you a new meal to avoid any problems with their manager.

You could even be eating a salad made of shit and still say everything is fine. It is why a lot of people tend to order the same meals when they visit a restaurant more than once. They know they will enjoy the meal and there won’t be any need to cause any problems.

For those who have read previous blog posts or know me personally, you’ll know I tend to be quite honest. However, my honesty can make me come across as someone who is quite rude but I still have a filter like everyone else and I don’t say unnecessary things that are going to hurt people. I tend to say how it is, and in today’s society, that can offend a lot of people. Even if it isn’t directed at them.

I’ve been determined to be honest in a world full of liars.

 

Is University Even Worth It?

Is University Even Worth It?

You are looking at spending just short of £30K for the three years of you studying and the degree itself doesn’t even guarantee you a job. You end up walking away with a huge amount of debt, but now you have a degree. Whether you actually end up using that degree is a different matter.

And what if you spend all that time studying and then decide you want to have a career in a different area, which then requires another degree. What do you do then?

In order to get the job you want, you need to gain experience, but in order to get the experience, you need the job. I think unless you are wanting to be a lawyer or a doctor you don’t need a degree. There are cheaper and more effective ways to get the experience you need to get the job.

As years, have gone by the price of degrees has risen but the value of the degree itself has fallen. It would be understandable if the rise in tuition fees corresponded with the rise of wages. But it doesn’t.

When we are younger, we get told we can be anything. Absolutely anything. There are no strings attached. That’s why when you ask children in reception and kindergarten what they want to be when they are older, you hear so many creative and imaginative ideas. They don’t bear in mind whether higher education is required or whether it is even a good paying job because they don’t realise what else is involved when choosing a career.

You get to a certain age and you realise you have been told a white lie. You can still be anything you want, as long as you follow these rules. You have to do well in school and get the right grades. You have to continue onto higher education. You start to notice that whilst you can still be anything you want, not everyone can.

Normally, those who want to pursue a career in the creative arts are the ones who get the most grief. You got told you could be anything you wanted, so why are people getting so angry because you want to go into acting? Whether it is music, drama, art or fictional writing you will most likely have heard this phrase at least once:

“Get a real job”

No one is going to be able to give you a solid definition of what a “real job” is. Not even Google. And if Google can’t answer your question, you are fucked.

I have come up with a list of things that I have seen linked to “real jobs”. A job must have four or more of the five categories below for it to be classed as real:

  • It must require a paid higher education qualification. For example, to become a nurse you do have to complete a qualification at nursing school, although you don’t necessarily need a degree.
  • It must be well paid
  • You must have a boss or a position you can move up to
  • It must require you to dress up in smart or formal clothing
  • And it must also require a routine schedule that you must follow.

If you are in a job that ticks less than four of those categories, unfortunately, it is imaginary.

So, you can still be anything you want but it has to be a real job. For example, J. K Rowling is a writer but because she is well paid it is a real job but for me writing is just a hobby, right?

We end up being brainwashed into thinking that if you pick the right subject, you’ll get the right job which will eventually lead to success. In reality, you could not have gone to university and become just as successful as someone who has. Remember, that time students are studying non-students are gaining experience through internships and apprenticeships.

I’m not saying don’t go to university because there are a lot of opportunities, you can meet new people and most importantly get drunk all the time. However, I can get drunk all the time sat in my bedroom and I don’t have to pay £9000 a year.