Month: May 2017

If It Doesn’t Affect Me, I Don’t Care

Now I realise this may upset a few people due to recent events, but compared to most I probably have more of a logical brain rather than an emotional one.

I used to worry unnecessarily about a lot of things that were out of my control.

I’ll give you an example, you know those adverts where they show starving or dying African children? The way they get your money is by using distressing or disturbing videos and pictures to make people sympathise with the children. However, for people like me, I don’t care.

I understand that it is a global problem and I’m not ignoring the fact that there are children and adults dying daily due to poverty. But if I gave money every time I saw those adverts I would be in poverty myself.

If it isn’t something I can personally control or prevent then why should I waste my time worrying?

Like the title states; if it doesn’t personally affect me then I don’t care.

Obviously, recently there was a bombing at Manchester that killed and injured several children and adults. Whilst it was upsetting to hear about it, I didn’t know anyone in the location and therefore it didn’t affect me.

Let’s look at it logically. Terrorists cause damage to places to cause fear in people. If we are constantly scared and in fear, after each one of these events, they’ve won, right?

A lot of people use events like these to gain popularity on social media. If you were to post something on any social media platform about an event such as this one when it is happening, you are guaranteed attention. Whilst most will hate me for not caring enough about disasters that are happening in the world, at least I am not using them as some sort of gain or profit.

Now, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I wish for anything bad to happen to anyone. Whether it be domestic abuse, gun violence or a terrorist attack.

Another thing you have to bear in mind is when there are these mass killings some people post things such as “My thoughts are with the families who lost their loved ones” on social media. Firstly, as thoughtful as it is, it is going to do fuck all for the families who have actually lost loved ones. Secondly, about a thousand people die a day from various types of cancer, so why haven’t you put that status up for the cancer patients’ families?

In general, people tend to concern themselves with topics that excite them or are somewhat relevant. Perhaps if the Manchester bombing had happened in a country that wasn’t the UK or America, it may have got less publicity. The fact it was at a concert also increased its publicity as a lot of the teens or young adults may have been using any social media platform at the time of the bomb.

There have been many lives lost in the past that haven’t been recognised due to the fact it wasn’t as unpredictable as other events.

Why should one death be more significant than another?

Grace x

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Why Won’t Anyone Commit?

Why Won’t Anyone Commit?

Whether it be a job, a relationship or a TV series, people are struggling to commit these days. We have a shorter attention span and believe everything we do has to be amazing and once that excitement is gone we have to quit and move on. We believe we are entitled to having the best and when we don’t we are constantly looking elsewhere.

With new apps being built every single day there is the ease of getting whatever you want whenever you like. You can order dinner, apply to a job or get a date with the touch of your fingers.

We are overwhelmed with all these choices and options, why would we ever stick to one?

In terms of dating we will always have two options; one is to experience intimacy with a verity of different people and to enjoy yourself in the moment and see where life takes you and the other option is to spend time with that one person, not only can you be intimate but you can tell them everything and know they will be there to support you no matter what.

As people grow and mature they will value their life experiences differently. Some people will always want to have a true connection with one person and some people will have matured and never get to that point. There is no set rule that you have to settle down.

Beforehand it was natural to find someone to settle down get married and have children. But now with more things being more socially acceptable, it isn’t always the case that everyone will settle down.

Even if you believe you don’t I’m sure in the back of your head this is true, but we all have a list of things we want to be able to tick off before we settle down. Some examples are, to travel more, to be in a certain place in your career, to have had more fun and adventure, to meet and sleep around with new people. Because once you settle down, that’s it. You’ll have less freedom as you’ll constantly be having to bear in mind about that other person. And you’ll definitely not be able to sleep around.

But what happens if you meet your soul mate and you haven’t achieved what you wanted to?

Well, the relationship ends. Not because it couldn’t have worked out but because one-half of the couple wasn’t ready.

Hey guys, just before you go I’ve been working on something for a while now and I wanted to tell you about it.

I’m publishing a book. It’s going to be a book of my poetry and quotes that I wrote when I was in college.

It shall hopefully be out to buy on Amazon by June. I will keep you updated and shall post the link once it is available to purchase.

Gracie x

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What Happens When You Think You’re Attractive

What Happens When You Think You’re Attractive

There is this unwritten social rule that suggests that if someone gives you a compliment you have two choices on how to respond:

  1. Deny anything they say
  2. Say thanks and accept the compliment

Apparently agreeing with the person makes you a narcissist. Especially for girls, we are expected to be beautiful but not know it. We are meant to be all these great things but act as though we are worthless.

Suddenly, as soon as we agree with the compliment men tend to get angry and take back what they have just said. They may even get to the point of giving you an insult instead. Because what is the point in telling me I’m attractive if I already know? Just because I agree with what you said doesn’t make it any less true.

Now I decide to agree with what you said I’m suddenly full of myself.

We live in a society where men are believed to be these overconfident walking pieces of art and women are little insecure school girls who depend on a man to make her feel good about herself.

What really makes me laugh and something I will never understand is when women give other women compliments. As an automatic reaction, we will give ourselves unrealistic insults instead of accepting praise. Suddenly, we all become obese, ugly whores. Suddenly, if you agree you’re the over confident bitch of the friendship group that everyone is green with envy over. For those of you who don’t understand what girls are like when it comes to compliments from other girls this video explains it all.

Moral of the story, whether it is men or women we are not allowed to accept compliments.

It makes us arrogant if we agree with your compliments but it is also attention seeking if we constantly deny them all. So, what are we meant to do?

Another thing to bear in mind is that if someone’s comments on you or your appearance make you feel uncomfortable, you don’t owe them a thank you. You don’t owe them anything.

Isn’t it crazy it is more socially acceptable to walk around self-loathing yourself than to accept compliments?

Gracie x

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What Has Theresa May Said This Time?

What Has Theresa May Said This Time?

It turns out I’ve been wrong all this time, I thought it was 2017 but actually turns out it’s 1972. Theresa May reminded me of my error when stating on The One Show that there are “boy and girl jobs” around the house.

It’s really reassuring to know that when nearly every average human is trying to fight sexism every day your own Prime Minister seems to want to live how it was 50 years ago. A lot of women already struggle as it is to get their male partner to help out with some of the chores.

I would like to point out that Theresa should step down as PM for she is currently doing a “boy job”.

I mean can I ask one thing; if there are certain jobs for males and certain jobs for females what do lesbian and gay couples do? Do a list of chores just not get done because they aren’t the right sex?

Apparently, women can’t touch bins because they are too dirty for our pristine hands but are expected to touch men’s dicks.

One of the main household chores that have always been seen as a “girl job” is cooking. However, I hate cooking and I’m not the best at it. My boyfriend has the skills and the passion for cooking so the majority of the time he cooks. I’m not going to take the pleasure away from him by cooking just because I’m a woman.

Next time my mum asked me to do something I’ll just say I can’t because it’s a “boy job”.

The main problem isn’t necessarily whether certain jobs are better done by certain genders. It is more the fact that even though we no longer live in the 50s, 90% of the household chores are being done by the woman.

Before a woman’s main purpose in life was to be a stay at home mum, a housewife and her focus was purely on her children and the house. Now, more women have careers and full-time jobs but somehow are still expected to be a housewife. At the end of a 9-hour shift, I’m sure women would much appreciate sharing the chores with their partner rather than doing them all themselves.

Whilst Theresa May’s comment on there being gender specific jobs was wrong at least she is getting her husband to do something around the house.

Gracie x

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Tea, Anyone?

Tea, Anyone?

For those of you that live under a rock, something that has been advertised on virtually every social media platform recently is these “detox” and “weight loss” teas and coffees. The main aim of them to do rid your body of any toxins by drinking a cup of either tea or coffee every morning and evening. Apparently, by getting rid of these toxins in your body it will promote fat burning and therefore you will be left with this lovely toned body by losing weight. The main companies you would have most likely seen advertised are ‘Fit Tea’, ‘The Skinny Coffee Club’ and ‘BooTea’.

Now whilst I have never actually used any of these teas or coffees before I have studied biology in the past. Whilst I may have failed biology A Level, I’m pretty sure your liver, kidney, and lungs tend to get rid of any nasty toxins in your body.

Another thing these companies do is they always advertise the drink with some tanned, toned girl in her underwear drinking the tea or coffee.

This is stupidly unrealistic because firstly, it is dangerous to consume a hot drink in your underwear because you could spill it and burn yourself. More importantly, this drink isn’t going to make you toned or tanned for that matter.

Detox is just a fancy name for laxatives. This drink will just make you shit yourself.

These companies understand that those who buy their product want to lose weight in some way so sometimes they offer recipes or meal plans to help with one’s weight loss journey. Most of the reviews show, on any of these products, that those who changed up their diet as well as drinking the tea or coffee lost the weight. However, those who continued to eat as they were whilst drinking the beverage didn’t lose the weight.

It’s not the overpriced drink that is helping you lose weight. It’s your change of diet.

But then you knew that. You were just hoping for an easy route to get to your dream figure. The only way you are going to look good is if you work for it.

Gracie x

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Having a Mental Illness Isn’t Pretty

Having a Mental Illness Isn’t Pretty

Can we get one thing straight; mental illnesses aren’t pretty. Just because you’re extremely sad does not automatically mean you have depression. With any illness or disease, doctors have to make sure the individual checks enough boxes before they can give a diagnosis. Each illness has then a set of complex symptoms that you have to be experiencing. If a doctor were to get a wrong diagnosis it would ruin their reputation. Doctors wouldn’t spend 7 years in education if it was that easy.

Also, Google isn’t a doctor. If you seriously think you’re mentally ill go to an actual one.

Since the birthing of Tumblr, mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety have almost been seen as desirable to have. Having a mental illness can affect your daily life to the point of not being able to hold up a stable job.

I get it. We are constantly told to stand out and not follow the crowd like sheep. However, one in four of us suffers from depression so in reality, you’re just like everyone else.

If you are going to fake a mental illness, choose Antisocial Personality Disorder because being a sociopath seems a lot more interesting than being depressed.

(I’m hoping you detected the sarcasm in that last sentence)

Mental illnesses aren’t some personality quirk some people have, they are life-consuming. Most people who do suffer from them feel embarrassed getting help and you’re there picking all the easy symptoms to have. In all honesty, it is disrespectful for those who have actually been diagnosed.

Paedophilia is a mental illness, shall we romanticise that one too? No, I didn’t think so.

Eating disorders are another mental illness that seems to be romanticised. There are even posts on Tumblr that talk about self-control and how some people wish they could be anorexic. That’s not just romanticising, that’s actually telling people that it is attractive to have an eating disorder. Some people are naturally skinny and some are not. You shouldn’t be forcing the idea of an eating disorder down people’s throats. If you want to lose weight, change your diet and exercise more.

Who said that being skinny to the point of being able to see someone’s ribs was even attractive in the first place?

Are people trying to seem more interesting?

It is not like you go up to people and say “Hi, I’m Grace and I’m mentally unstable”.

There is a difference between being sad and having depression or being anxious and having anxiety. No human is a completely emotionless robot but there is a difference between suffering from mental illness and just experiencing a normal emotion.

Grace x

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“Stealthing” is Sexual Assault

“Stealthing” is Sexual Assault

For those of you who don’t know, “Stealthing” is where during sex the partner will remove his condom whilst the other believes that the condom is still intact, therefore exposing the partner to potential STDs and the chance of pregnancy. Whilst a lot of people see this as a new trend sweeping the national, it is in fact, sexual assault.

A lot of stories have ended with the victim confused on whether it is actually violence or just bad sex. Every time “Stealthing” happens it should be classed as sexual assault and sexual assault isn’t a trend.

Uggs and ripped jeans are a trend, “Stealthing” is not.

Either these men don’t understand that creating a risk of STDs or pregnancy for their partner isn’t a violation or they do understand but don’t care. Technically you could go as far as saying that this new trend is classed as rape. Consenting to safe sex and consenting to unprotected sex are two different things. If the partner initially didn’t consent to sex without a condom then if the condom is removed it revokes any consent the partner originally gave. Making it rape.

Men, imagine it this way. You’ve met an attractive girl and for whatever reason, you two end up having sex. Beforehand she mentions she’s on the pill and that she has no STDs and therefore a condom isn’t necessary.

Afterwards, she decides to tell you that she’s not on the pill and in actual fact she has a terrible case of gonorrhoea. But she prefers the feeling of sex without a condom so she lied to you.

You’d be mad, wouldn’t you?

There’s even a manual online giving men step by step instructions on how to trick the different types of women. I think that’s fucking disgusting.

It is a betrayal of trust and is bordering on abuse. Men who do this are more focused on their own needs than their sexual partners’.

No one likes buying condoms. It is an awkward thing to do because now everyone in the store knows that sometime in the future you’re about to have sex. No one likes using condoms either. However, you have decided to do the right thing because some STDs can be life-threatening. It isn’t worth ruining a bit of fun with death. And then you find out after trying to do the right thing that someone decided for you to do the wrong.

“Stealthing” could even be attempted murder.

Hear me out. If a male removes the condom during sex without the other partner knowing and gives them a life-threatening STD and they die from it, who’s fault is it?

This isn’t a trend. This is sexual assault. Keep it in your condoms.

Gracie x

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