Have you ever not wanted to get help or not wanted to discuss your story for you hadn’t gone through as much as someone else? Because you feel your trauma isn’t “bad” enough compared to someone else? All trauma is valid. People respond differently to different things and that’s completely normal.
I’ll list some reasons below why people think their trauma isn’t valid:
Because it happened to you years ago. If it is still affecting your daily life then it is still valid.
Because you think it could have been “avoided”. You place the blame on yourself and therefore believe it isn’t valid because you could have stopped it. It is never your fault.
Because you haven’t had the courage to tell anyone about it.
Because someone has been through “worse” or what you believe is worse. Even if someone has been through a similar trauma to yours but doesn’t seem as affected by it. Your trauma is valid.
Trauma changes your brain biologically and psychologically no matter how old you are. And whilst it is more severe the younger you are. It doesn’t mean it can’t affect you just because you’re an adult.
Because you had help around you at the time. It is obviously also easier to get over events when you have support around you, whether that be family or friends who know what you went through and are willing to help you. Even if you have support it doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel any less affected than someone who had no support.
Just because the trauma didn’t leave a physical bruise or scar on your body doesn’t make it any less valid. Mental and emotional abuse is just as damaging if not more so than physical abuse.
You aren’t being weak or attention seeking for wanting help or wanting to talk about what you have experienced. People constantly question whether their experience was traumatic enough and what is considered legitimately traumatic.
It can be difficult getting into new relationships after trauma; for both the person who was traumatised as well as their partner.
If you are dating someone who has been through trauma make sure you are there to help them in any way possible. Even if the event happened years ago make sure you allow them to heal and talk about it if they want or need.
Relationships for those who have been traumatised in the past are difficult, especially if the trauma happened in a past relationship. Make sure you don’t take their feelings personally and remember it is not your job to fix them. When someone you love is hurting all you want to do is help them but just remember in situations like this you don’t have the ability to fix it.
Are you allowed to feel traumatised? Yes, absolutely.
At the end of the day if it hurts you then allow yourself to feel. If you don’t accept what has happened you won’t be able to properly heal.
Gracie Victoria Hemphill x