The Real Reasons For Rape

The Real Reasons For Rape

A tweet has recently appeared on my Twitter and it upset me to the point of feeling ill. Now I’m partially hoping the person in question was trolling or doing it for the followers, because if not this girl clearly doesn’t know how the world works.

What makes it worse is that as soon as you click onto this girl’s profile she has pinned that tweet, which basically means it is the first thing you see on her page regardless of chronological order. It’s almost as if she believes she is giving people advice, which once you read the tweet you will realise she’s not.

I’m not going to mention the girl’s Twitter name or anything like that as I don’t want to give her any more attention than she already got, but her tweet said:

“I’ve never been raped. Know why? Because I don’t dress like a prostitute or act overly sexual like most young women. Take some responsibility!”

Firstly, considering she has never been raped or sexually abused in any way she doesn’t know enough on the topic herself to be able to comment on why people get raped or sexually abused. Nine times out of ten it is for power, the one doing the action wants to take control of the victim. Doesn’t matter what they are wearing if the person is prone to committing these kind of acts they will continue regardless.

The only thing you can blame rape on is the rapist themselves. Men get raped as well but do they walk around in revealing dresses or skirts? No. Therefore, it isn’t the outfit, it is the person committing the acts.

One of the main things that cause people to rape or sexually abuse is if the person themselves has experienced abuse in the past. If they have gone through a time where they felt powerless or vulnerable they want to be able to have control of everything in their life now.

I’m not suggesting that all rapists and abusers have been through abuse themselves because every situation is different. And I’m also not suggesting that those rapists or abusers who have been abused themselves deserve sympathy. Because they don’t. If they have been through it all themselves and know how much hurt and pain it causes a person but still decide to do it to someone else then they don’t deserve sympathy.

And whilst I feel like I talk too much about the topic maybe it still isn’t being talked about enough if there are people who are still making stupid comments like the one above. Telling rape victims how to dress is almost as bad as telling depressed people to “be happy”.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

 

Are you Male, Female or Offended?

Are you Male, Female or Offended?

The whole point of a census is to count all the people living in the UK monitoring basic information like race, age, and sex.

But apparently, people are getting offended and upset by being asked their gender. According to those who are either transgender or non-binary asking for someone’s gender is irrelevant and intrusive. I think it would be more intrusive if they came round your house and pulled your trousers down and went “Ah this one has balls”. Being asked to tick a box isn’t exactly the most intrusive way of finding out the answer to that question. 

In order to offend fewer people they had thought to offer an ‘Other’ option, however, that got ruled out as it would make transgender or non-binary people feel left out or not part of the community.  

The other suggestion was to have a two section question; asking firstly about your biological sex and then secondly asking what your gender was. Which in short is asking what you were born as and what you feel you are. This was also ruled as it was seen as too confusing. In all honesty, once we start to ask people how they feel about things we are opening a whole new can of worms.

“I earn X amount but I feel like I should earn more”

However, if you get offended by having to tick a box maybe you should seek professional help. One answer on a census doesn’t define you or who you are as a person. Society nowadays get so offended by anything and suddenly we can’t tell any jokes in fear of offending at least one individual in the world. The Office of National Statistics doesn’t particularly care how you feel they just want to know if there is a chance of you getting pregnant. This would then help work out how many midwives to train among other things.

If we can’t ask people questions because of the fear of offending them then we can’t have a census. If it is discriminatory to ask people about their gender then it should also be discriminatory to ask about race, occupation or even where you live.

At what point do we stop getting so politically correct?

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Is the New iPhone Worth it?

Is the New iPhone Worth it?

For those who don’t live under a rock you may have noticed Apple released three new phones; iPhone 8, 8 Plus and the iPhone X. Apple struggle with numbers ever since their first model where they started at number 3 so apparently the iPhone 9 won’t exist. I work in a phone shop so whenever a new phone is released I have to know basic information about it in order to sell it. And can I just say Apple are making it harder each year to sell their new products. And when customers come up to the counter and ask questions about the new iPhone I could be honest but instead, I have to make up some believable bullshit.

To be honest I’m sure I could say the only way to charge the new iPhone is by sticking it up your arsehole and you’d still buy it.

The iPhone 8 and 8 Plus are basically the same as the iPhone 7 and 7 Plus besides a couple features. Apple have decided to make the back of the phone glass as well so not only does the phone attract fingerprints like there is no tomorrow but when you drop your phone you will have twice the amount of damage and therefore twice the amount of cost to fix it. You will also get to see your sad disappointed face on both sides of the cracked phone.

The new iPhone 8 is more powerful than the 7, however, Apple have actually made the battery life worse because the people who buy Apple products don’t complain enough about the battery life. The megapixels on the camera haven’t actually been improved; it is the same as in the iPhone 6s. So, whilst they have improved features on the camera you won’t actually be getting any clearer of an image.

The iPhone X which isn’t actually out until the beginning of November will start at a small loan of a grand to buy, and that is only the 64gb version let alone the 256gb version. Now I understand there are people out there who can warrant and afford to spend £1000 on a phone so for those people, I shall explain if it is actually worth it.

The iPhone X is very similar to the new Samsung S8 (£689) and S8 Plus (£779), in the fact they got rid of the home button so there is more space for the screen. However, one trick Apple missed out on is that they only made one size of the iPhone X so for customers who like the larger screen they will have to sacrifice that feature if they want the iPhone X.

One feature that the iPhone X has that the Samsung S8 and S8 Plus doesn’t is facial recognition. This basically means you can open your phone with your face because that is how lazy we have all got now apparently. It does also mean looking like you are taking a selfie every time you open your phone; which is just embarrassing as no one actually wants to be caught taking a selfie.

And it is really easy; you just scan your face once when you’re wearing makeup, then again when you’re not, then again when you get your hair cut, then again when you lose that weight for your holiday and then again when that dickhead breaks up with you and you gain that weight again. But yeah easy stuff.

Whilst this new feature is exciting is it worth the extra £300? Definitely not.  

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

 

 

Stop Calling Us Crazy

Stop Calling Us Crazy

The majority of the time when a guy has gone through a recent break up you’ll hear him describe his ex as “Crazy” or a “Psycho bitch”. Was she really crazy though? Did she try to kill you in your sleep? She did she have multiple personalities and you never knew what you were coming home to? She did go around torturing and killing animals? If not then you have no right to call her crazy.

Stop blaming the women you date for your inability to have a functioning relationship.

Whatever the reason is for ending a relationship there is never one perfect person who is never at fault. The same as there is never one person to blame solely for the ending.

Don’t go around telling all your mates that the reason that you broke up was due to the fact your ex was mental. Stop trying to come across like the victim whilst purposely hiding whatever it was you did.

Guys have this idea of a perfect woman that they would like to date; any female who doesn’t follow this image is labelled as crazy. Guys like the idea of the “Cool Chick”. The “Cool Chick” is a girl who is funny, smart and unbelievably good looking. But she’s also up for whatever. Do you want a threesome with her best friend? Sure thing. And she’ll give you blowjobs without you having to even ask. She’s not a girly girl and gets on quite well with your other mates because she is “one of the lads”. She allows you to go out drinking all the time without getting paranoid or clingy. She’ll forgive you instantly if you cheat on her but don’t worry she’s too loyal to cheat on you. She is there to support you when you’ve had a stressful day but understands you don’t really care about her petty work problems so doesn’t bother you with them. Oh, and she doesn’t want children. Fuck all that commitment, am I right?

Does this “Cool Chick” exist? Probably. Would you be able to have a long term relationship with her? Course not. This girl doesn’t care about you or any of the other guys she is most likely dating. She’s not getting paranoid because she doesn’t care if she loses you to another girl or not. She is fun to be with because that’s all she is looking for. If you’re wanting a long-term relationship you will have to deal with the feelings that come along with that such as being clingy.

9 times out of 10 when a guy describes his ex as crazy she’s probably not. However, I’m not saying there are no crazy bitches out there. But I think they would probably prefer the term mentally unstable.

“Crazy” has been used so much in situations like these that it has almost lost its meaning. A bit like swearing; as a kid swear words had such an impact on me but now I use the word c*nt on a daily basis as if I were inhaling oxygen. Being called crazy is never something that gets brushed off easily. You start to question everything; am I actually a sociopath? No, your ex was just an arsehole.

That’s another thing, if guys can call all girls crazy can we call all guys arseholes?

Gracie x 

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

 

Reasons Why Some Of Us Are Built To Be Alone.

Reasons Why Some Of Us Are Built To Be Alone.

We have been taught for centuries that the way life goes is that you meet someone, you get married and you have children. And even if the marriage doesn’t work out, you’re meant to remarry. We are meant to find a partner to grow old with to avoid loneliness.

But what if some people aren’t built to spend the rest of their lives with other people?

There are some people who constantly need people to rely on and depend on. These people probably wouldn’t survive by themselves and need someone else there even if it is just for the company.

But if you can survive well on your own why bother trying to find anyone else?

Whilst the physical side of a relationship is great you may find that you aren’t one for being in a long-term relationship. Some signs you might be better off alone are that:

·       Maybe you don’t like being tied down; you like the freedom and opportunities you get given with being single and would rather not have to think of another person whenever you have to make a decision.

·       Maybe you are waiting for the perfect relationship with the perfect person. When it comes to disagreements, instead of working out a solution you would rather walk away.  You try to prevent conflicts from happening and never particularly get too close or put yourself in a vulnerable position.

·       You see being single as a positive highlight rather than a failure. If you don’t see anything wrong with being single and are then unlikely to try and change your relationships status.

·       You’re independent and whilst you can’t necessarily deal with all your problems by yourself you like to. You tend to be more decisive and more self-sufficient.

·       You’re good at saving but your partner isn’t. You don’t want all your hard work to go to waste because someone has to constantly borrow off you. Whilst you can keep your finances separate at one point your wages will cross paths. Maybe one of you earns more than the other and it puts pressure on the relationship.

·       Whilst perfection doesn’t exist you are constantly looking for it in your next partner. You’re looking for something that you won’t find and therefore no one will be able to make you happy because of your high expectations.

These are some of the few points on why some of us are built to be alone. Being alone isn’t actually as negative as some people make it seem. 

Gracie x 

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Causally Suicidal

Causally Suicidal

I don’t when this became a thing but every other post on social media is people joking about suicide. Whether it is a picture of a noose with the caption “Hang in there” or a picture of a bottle of bleach being in the “Back to School” sale. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who laughs at these depressing jokes. But why do we laugh? Is it because we find it funny? Relatable? Is it a coping mechanism to make us feel less uncomfortable?

It isn’t just online where people are joking about their suicidal tendencies. You can be at work or at school and suddenly someone jokingly tells you to kill yourself. I doubt they expect you to respond with “Well I was planning to last night”. You’re meant to laugh it off and see it as a joke.

I have never been one to take any of these jokes seriously and I would be lying if I said I never joke about suicide myself. Sometimes at work, I say, “This is so boring, I want to kill myself”. Do I mean it? No, I mean I have a very low tolerance for boredom but I don’t want to kill myself because of it.

Whilst we have been talking more about mental health over the years I still don’t think we have grasped the concept of suicide. “13 Reasons Why”, a Netflix TV show, tried to portray what it is like to be suicidal. However, the creators of that show didn’t do a brilliant job as they suggested that suicide was some form of revenge. Kind of like going “Ah he rejected me so I’m going to kill myself”. Which isn’t the case, you don’t kill yourself for any people’s sake.

And I realise being alive today means I probably have no expertise in the subject of suicide. But normally people kill themselves either because the chemicals in their brains don’t work the way they are meant to or because multiple things over time got too much. It would seem petty and a waste of time to kill yourself over what someone else did.

We may be aware more of mental health but there are still some habits we can’t break out of. Men are “pussys” for crying and women are “bitter bitches” for getting angry. But why? All we are doing I being human. If someone was full of joy and happiness 100% of the time there would probably be something wrong with them. We all have our down moments, some more than others, and we should be allowed to express ourselves in those moments.

I think we need to stop over sharing online and under sharing in person. We can happily tell everyone online in some form of humour that we want to die but we can’t tell the people around us when we are feeling a little down?

It doesn’t matter how uncomfortable the other person gets if you are feeling suicidal, tell someone rather than expecting them to read between the lines of your Facebook post.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Break-Ups Aren’t Rocket Science

Break-Ups Aren’t Rocket Science

Relationships are the biggest part of our lives and when we are ancient and going through the memories of our lives, we aren’t going to be thinking about the little things. We won’t be thinking about our grades or our studies or how much chocolate we did or didn’t eat. We are going to be thinking about our relationships and wishing we did spend more time with the people we love. Whether your relationship is bad, good or great; no one likes breakups. No one likes losing a person that once spent so much time in your life.

There has been research and studies to show that breakups aren’t easy. However, there are things you can do to make it easier.

For example, delete your ex off any social media accounts. Whilst you may believe you are strong and thick skinned seeing them happy with other people isn’t going to make you feel any better. And if you really think you can’t control yourself, block them too. This will stop you typing their name in the search bars whilst you’re drunk at 1 in the morning. Again, it won’t do you any good.

Another thing would be to delete their number off your phone. To go a step further delete any message threads you may have. Basically, delete everything that may give you a chance to dial in their number. Unfortunately, if you have photographic or eidetic memory, I’m truly sorry as I have no advice for that. Is there a way of erasing memories possibly?

If you had been together a long time and know their schedule pretty well don’t purposely go out of your way to try and “bump into” them. It will come across as weird or creepy. And, what exactly do you think you’ll achieve by doing this? Because let’s be honest here, you’ll achieve nothing.

Whilst break-ups aren’t the easiest thing in the world, you can’t sit there crying yourself to sleep and feeling sorry for yourself if you aren’t doing anything about the situation to make it better. You are continue to purposely put yourself in situations that will cause more hurt then you are just asking for trouble.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill