Having a Mental Illness Isn’t Pretty

Having a Mental Illness Isn’t Pretty

Can we get one thing straight; mental illnesses aren’t pretty. Just because you’re extremely sad does not automatically mean you have depression. With any illness or disease, doctors have to make sure the individual checks enough boxes before they can give a diagnosis. Each illness has then a set of complex symptoms that you have to be experiencing. If a doctor were to get a wrong diagnosis it would ruin their reputation. Doctors wouldn’t spend 7 years in education if it was that easy.

Also, Google isn’t a doctor. If you seriously think you’re mentally ill go to an actual one.

Since the birthing of Tumblr, mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety have almost been seen as desirable to have. Having a mental illness can affect your daily life to the point of not being able to hold up a stable job.

I get it. We are constantly told to stand out and not follow the crowd like sheep. However, one in four of us suffers from depression so in reality, you’re just like everyone else.

If you are going to fake a mental illness, choose Antisocial Personality Disorder because being a sociopath seems a lot more interesting than being depressed.

(I’m hoping you detected the sarcasm in that last sentence)

Mental illnesses aren’t some personality quirk some people have, they are life-consuming. Most people who do suffer from them feel embarrassed getting help and you’re there picking all the easy symptoms to have. In all honesty, it is disrespectful for those who have actually been diagnosed.

Paedophilia is a mental illness, shall we romanticise that one too? No, I didn’t think so.

Eating disorders are another mental illness that seems to be romanticised. There are even posts on Tumblr that talk about self-control and how some people wish they could be anorexic. That’s not just romanticising, that’s actually telling people that it is attractive to have an eating disorder. Some people are naturally skinny and some are not. You shouldn’t be forcing the idea of an eating disorder down people’s throats. If you want to lose weight, change your diet and exercise more.

Who said that being skinny to the point of being able to see someone’s ribs was even attractive in the first place?

Are people trying to seem more interesting?

It is not like you go up to people and say “Hi, I’m Grace and I’m mentally unstable”.

There is a difference between being sad and having depression or being anxious and having anxiety. No human is a completely emotionless robot but there is a difference between suffering from mental illness and just experiencing a normal emotion.

Grace x

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Why Don’t We Congratulate Skinny People For Staying Skinny?

Why Don’t We Congratulate Skinny People For Staying Skinny?

Recently, on social media I have seen a lot of before and after pictures of people who have lost weight to become a slimmer version of themselves. For those who have been able to achieve that, well done. I know staying motivated is hard work sometimes, although it does help to take pictures every so often so you can then see your progress.

I’m referring to those who change up their diet or start doing exercise. Those who resort straight to liposuction I feel are cheating the system. It doesn’t matter how good the plastic surgery was, if you continue your eating and exercise habits the way you are, all that weight will come back on.

As a society, we congratulate overweight people for losing weight but not skinny people for staying skinny, why is that?

Overweight people are clearly doing something wrong to their body, hence the reason they are overweight. Whether they are eating processed and unhealthy foods or whether they are just eating twice the amount they need, it is obviously a problem that can be changed. Not necessarily an easy change but you know what you’re doing wrong. No one is asking you to go the gym every day but if you did something as simple as cutting down on the portion sizes or cutting out ready meals and takeaways, you’ll notice the difference.

However, whilst some skinny people happen to have good genes or a faster metabolism, some just take care of their body and stay the weight they are. If a skinny person tried to take a picture and put it on social media, with a caption that talked about how they have looked after their body all their life and had stayed the weight they have, they wouldn’t get the same congratulations as the former overweight person.

Is it because it looks likes more effort is required to go from fat to skinny rather than from skinny to still skinny?

Think about it. Fat and overweight people get bullied a lot. Whether it is directly or indirectly, overweight people get reminded every day about their figure, how they don’t reach certain standards of beauty and are then seen as possibly unattractive to some people. Also, they sometimes get called lazy or unmotivated. Whilst all this fat-shaming is harsh and unnecessary does it help motivate overweight people to lose weight?

No one is giving skinny people the motivate to stay the weight they are. I am a fairly slim girl, always have been luckily enough. Even when I was at my heaviest, I was still slim and therefore no one really said anything negative. Whilst it may be harsh sometimes people need that push. For example, my drama teacher told me I couldn’t act, whilst it was harsh if it wasn’t for him I would still be trying to become an actress.

I’m not saying going from fat to skinny is any harder than staying skinny or vice versa. However, I would like a little appreciation every so often.

Stop Joking About Pregnancy on April Fools

Stop Joking About Pregnancy on April Fools

It’s the first of April tomorrow, which means it is April Fools. For those who don’t know what April Fools is, it’s a day where people try to succeed in doing funny pranks on people. For example, sticking a bunch of sticky notes so that it covers someone’s car. Whilst it is a mild inconvenience and isn’t massively hilarious to the person who owns the car, it is harmless.

And that’s what these pranks should be. Harmless.

Nowadays, people tend to do their pranks based on social media. They will post something on a social media platform that won’t be true and see how many people fall the gag.

Sometimes people pretend to be pregnant and will go as far as posting a fake ultrasound picture to their social media profiles. Now for the majority of people, this prank will be harmless. But for those who grew up wanting children and not being able to have them, this will hurt.

Think about it. Pretend you are someone who ever since you were younger has always wanted to have a family of your own. You maybe even came up with a couple names and how many you wanted. Now imagine you have spent years of your life trying to conceive with your partner. You go to the doctors, just in case. But you believe you are overreacting and that you’re worrying for nothing. You’re sure this happens to everyone.

Now, imagine how heartbroken you’re going to feel after the doctor tells you you’re infertile. That you will never be able to have children no matter what you do.

A few years down the line you’ve either adopted, used a surrogate mother or given up on having children altogether. It is April the first and you log into your Facebook. A friend is pregnant and even posted a picture of the ultrasound. They never mentioned anything but maybe they just wanted to be sure.

You go to write a comment, congratulating them. Whilst you are jealous that you have never been able to have children of your own, you have to be happy for them. If the circumstances were different they would be happy for you.

As you’re scrolling down the comments you realise that it’s a joke. That your friend pretended to be pregnant for April Fools, thought it would be funny. You are full of so much rage and anger because you’re sat there not being able to have children and it breaks your heart every day and people decide to make a joke out of it.

The prank may seem harmless. But it isn’t harmless to everyone. Unfortunately, life has its ups and downs and not everyone gets what they deserve. You will have people on your social media who can’t have children but want children of their own.

Also, it isn’t the most original prank. Choose something that will make you stand out.

 

Are Waist Trainers Even That Good?

Are Waist Trainers Even That Good?

Recently, I have seen a lot of articles popping up on social media about waist trainers. My first thought when I first saw them was, “What a load of bullshit, these can’t be any good for your body”. So, I did some research and I was right they don’t do your body any good in all honesty.

For those who don’t know, waist training is when you wear a type of corset for several months that creates an exaggerated hourglass figure. As the corset gets tighter and tighter it is able to pull the woman’s floating ribs and even rearrange her internal organs to reduce the circumference of her waist. Traditionally, you had steel-boned corsets but recently we have latex waist cinchers which women tend to wear as part of their workout routine. The results are semi-permanent, so even once the hourglass figure is achieved you have to continue wearing it anyway.

Companies selling the waist trainers also claim that you will lose fat and weight from your waist, metabolise fat and reduce your daily food intake.

The problem with that statement is that most of the waist trainers nowadays are made out of latex. If you’ve ever had to wear latex gloves, you’ll realise that the material makes you sweat very easily. If you are then trying to work out wearing the waist trainer, you’ll lose water weight from the sweat rather than fat. Therefore, as soon as you go to drink water or eat carbs, you’ll put the weight back on.

Another thing is that they state you can lose fat from your waist and make it smaller. However, you can’t pick and choose where you lose weight. The only reason you would lose weight whilst using the waist trainer is because you’re shrinking the size of your stomach so that you are reducing your daily food intake. Whilst that might sound great it is always healthier to stick to a diet rather causing damage to your body just to look good. It is like when people diet they tend to lose weight all round instead of one particular area. It is also not permanent, so after a while, your body will go back to the shape it was.

The thing that struck me is that there are so many obvious signs to suggest that these things will have a negative impact on your body. You are literally trying to fit your internal organs into a smaller space. This means wearing a waist trainer for a long-term period can cause digestive problems, rib damage and difficulty breathing. Especially if you decide to use it whilst working out. This is because your lungs won’t have the space they need to expand and therefore you won’t be producing another oxygen to work out. You’ll slowly be suffocating yourself as you deprive your body of oxygen.

Unfortunately, as much as we all want the hourglass figure, with the small stomach but big bust and hips, it isn’t possibly. Even the most athletic don’t necessarily have the hourglass figure, you either have the genetics or you don’t. A piece of material won’t change that.

Is Being Unhappy A Choice?

Is Being Unhappy A Choice?

I try to be a happy person most of the time, however like some I have my down days where I feel emotionally drained and unmotivated to do anything. These days where I feel my worst are also the days I just want to curl up into a little ball and cry.

Is it the fact I am constantly reminding myself that I feel miserable by trying to find this “happiness” that causes my unhappiness?

Happiness is quite a difficult thing to measure and therefore it is hard to become something when the definition is very vague.

Another thing that tends to cause unhappiness is self-worth. Self-worth is basically how much someone thinks they are worth as a person. Obviously the lower your self-worth is the more unhappy you tend to be. If you constantly compare yourself to others who are around you and see yourself as all of your imperfections, then yes you may feel sad from time to time.

The assumption of human behaviour is that people go out to seek pleasure and avoid pain, evolutionary it is how we have been designed. However there are people out there who will use absolutely anything as an excuse to be unhappy. Sometimes what happens is people are almost competing against one another on “Who Has The Shittest Life?”

Is it because people enjoy feeling unhappy or that they are scared to feel joy?

Psychologists have found that some people who tend to enjoy watching horror films also tend to be happy when they are unhappy.

Happiness is complicated and people find it in different situations. In difficult situations optimists can still find a way to feel happy about what is going on and some will always be unhappy despite having everything in front of them.

In some cases happiness can be a choice as we choose our reactions, behaviours and how things impact us. But unfortunately there are many people who suffer from mental health problems, which decide to control our feelings. People don’t choose to be depressed or anxious, it just so happens they are.

Grace x

Why I Don’t Want Kids.

Why I Don’t Want Kids.

After growing up as one of six siblings, and being the middle child, I have been able to see my parents deal with the experiences that come with parenthood.

And all I have to say is, I’ll pass.

I know what you’re thinking. I’m only 18 how can I be so sure whether I want children or not?. You’re right, I’m not 100% sure whether I want to have kids or not. But for now and any point in the nearby future that I can reach, I don’t see myself having or wanting children.

Who knows maybe it will hit me in my 30s and suddenly I will feel the urge to give birth to tall, socially anxious and sarcastic little arseholes.

However, it turns out I’m not the only one who doesn’t want children. Research has shown that during the years 2007 to 2012 the birth rates of those in their 20s declined by 15%. This doesn’t necessarily mean fewer people are having children, it just suggests people are having them later.

Although many women suffer from a lot of criticism when they state they don’t want children. Because, according to society, the main purpose of a woman’s life is to give birth and populate the world. Unfortunately, that’s not the only reason women are on this planet.

As soon as a woman mentions that she doesn’t want children she is called selfish. She is told that she will change her mind and some people even go as far as suggesting that women only have sex to have children. Which isn’t the case.

If you’re not in the financial position to raise children why should anyone force you to bring a child into this world? These children would be missing out on things that they could easily have if they had the right sources. For example, people in their 20s may still be paying off university debts or living off student loans.

If someone suffers from a genetic mental or physical health problem and knows how much of a struggle it is to live with, they may not want children as there could be a chance of passing their unfortunate genetics onto this innocent child. Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety can be genetic. Depending on the severity of the illness, suicide could be a possible option for sufferers.

Another thing is if someone suffers from a mental health problem they may not be mentally capably of rasing a child in the first place, depending on the severity of the illness.

We are constantly told that over-population could be a threat to the world so why would you force people to add to the ever-growing number?

Some people may not be able to naturally have children of their own. This means if someone states they don’t want children it may not be because of a choice of their own and therefore you keep on interrogating them will only upset them. Obviously those who can’t have children naturally but do want children have the options of either adoption or surrogacy.

Pregnancy a pain! I don’t know about most women but I definitely know that the idea of holding a baby for nine months and then giving birth to it doesn’t sound like my cup of tea.

The main problem that sometimes stops people having children is the fact it is so easy to mess up when parenting. This tiny person you create is dependent on your healthy choices. And whilst women who don’t want children are called selfish maybe they aren’t.

I mean I can barely look after myself let alone anyone else.

There are many reasons why people want or don’t want children. At the end of the day they shouldn’t need a reason. It’s their body, their life and their choices.

None of which have anything to do with your opinion.

Grace x

 

 

 

Having Low Self-Esteem Can Be Confusing.

Having Low Self-Esteem Can Be Confusing.

I would consider myself to have low self-esteem because there are days, I am the worse human being in the world and I can’t do anything right. There are days where my best isn’t good enough and I’m a failure.

But then there are days when I am queen and I’m the best out there. There are days where I think to myself “Of course my boyfriend loves me, I’m perfect”

And some days I continue to loathe myself but somehow think I’m better than most.

The problem there is no between and I can go from one feeling to the other within seconds. Little things throughout the day can either lift my mood or drag it down.

Low self-esteem nowadays is pretty common, mainly because of social media. No matter how many times they are told, teenagers and young adults see likes on a picture as equalling to how attractive you are as a person. So if your new profile picture on Facebook doesn’t get enough likes, you go around thinking you’re ugly.

As sad as it sounds, it’s how we think. It’s how we have been trained to think.

Self-esteem is a difficult thing to increase as we are always going to be our own worst critics. We all want to be the best versions of ourselves but there are constructive ways of doing it. We need to make an extra effort to be kinder to ourselves.

A way to try to higher your self-esteem is every so often ask yourself this question:

Would you treat your parents or best friend the way you treat yourself?

Here are a couple of other tips in helping higher your self-esteem:

  • Work out what is triggering your low self-esteem. Sometimes stressful events can cause a negative impact on ourselves. Instead of assuming you’ll fail, take it as an opportunity to learn and better yourself.
  • Get sober. Certain addictions can block learning and can genuinely make you feel down anyway.
  • Have an open mind. Instead of things being black and white, have a more “shades of grey” way of thinking. This will give you more options when things do go wrong.
  • Stop giving a fuck. Remember whatever happens, as long as you tried your best nobody can ask anymore of you.

Grace x