Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

A few people get confused between the difference between being confident and being a narcissist and sometimes will see them as the same thing. However, you can have someone portraying narcissistic behaviours and not necessarily have high self-esteem. The same as you can have someone have high self-esteem and not be narcissistic.

One thing to note is that in both cases the person is thinking highly of themselves; the main difference is normally where the recognition is coming from. For example, having high self-esteem or confidence is due to how you feel about yourself. Your self-esteem will have ups and downs throughout your life depending on how you are feeling. However, narcissism comes from the praise you get from others.

Those with high self-esteem don’t necessarily believe they are perfect whereas, a narcissist’s aim is to be the best at absolutely everything so they will either believe they have no flaws or go to great efforts to hide them. Whilst narcissists come across as being content with who they are, they are most likely as insecure as those who low self-esteem.

Yes, you can love yourself. Yes, you can go around pointing out the things you like about yourself and your appearance. But don’t call yourself a narcissist because there is so much more involved. It wouldn’t be considered a personality disorder if those were the only symptoms because in reality there is nothing wrong with being confident with yourself. Narcissism is almost always based off having low self-esteem, therefore, just because someone seems happy with themselves does not necessarily they have any mental problems.

Narcissists are just con-artists. Whilst they can come across as if they are happy with themselves, they probably still go home hating themselves as much as you do.

The best way to describe a narcissist is that they absolutely hate themselves but still believe they are better than everyone else.

We live in a world where it is socially acceptable to travel around in a bubble of self-loathing so when someone comes across and believes they are perfect we have to give them a label.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

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I am an Extroverted Introvert

I am an Extroverted Introvert

Like with most personality traits there is a scale when it comes to introversion and extroversion. Some people are definitely either one or the other but some people are a bit of both.

Don’t tell me I can’t be both, I mean I’m already bi so I obviously have a thing with not making decisions.

An ambivert is someone who has the combination of both introvert and extrovert characteristics. The fact there is a definition for this must mean it’s a thing as well.

Here are a few examples of why I believe I’m an extroverted introvert:

  1. Whether my evening consists of going out for drinks with a few mates or ordering pizza and watching Netflix alone, I will enjoy both options equally. It does also depend on my mood as I may be more inclined to do one than the other.
  2. Introverts tend to find socialising emotionally draining, whereas with me there are some people where I can feel physically exhausted from talking to them for 5 minutes. However, there are some people I could talk to for days and I would never feel drained.
  3. There are times where I can be with a group of people and be completely quiet the entire time and sometimes I can be the loudest one in the room.
  4. I don’t actually mind meeting new people. Although I’d probably prefer hanging out with people I already know quite well.
  5. Whilst I can do small talk I secretly hate it. I can’t be bothered with all this “How are you and how was your weekend” bullshit. In all honesty, I don’t care about your weekend and I know you don’t care about mine.
  6. I love my alone time like any other introvert, however, after too much alone time, I can either feel bored or lonely.
  7. I can be a good listener but I also appreciate it when someone listens to my endless rants.

It is basically all about balance so some days I will be a bit more introverted and some days I will be more extroverted. It also depends on my mood. But if you’ve felt that you have never been able to put into yourself in one category or the other it may be because you’re an ambivert.

Gracie x

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Twitter: @gracievhemphill

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My book is finally here! You can get a copy of “Letters to my Past” by clicking here!

 

The Female Body Vs Social Media

The Female Body Vs Social Media

People, especially teens and young adults, will do anything to get as many likes, comments or shares on their posts on social media. Whether they do this for the attention or the dopamine affect it has on your brain. For girls, especially if they are attractive, the easiest way to make that happen is to reveal as much of your skin as possible.

Whatever anyone wants to post on social media is nobody else’s business, as long as it isn’t full on nudity, people should be allowed to share whatever they feel comfortable sharing. One thing that does irritate me is when underage girls post provocative photos on Instagram or Facebook. Where are your parents? What exactly are you trying to achieve? Because all you are going to get is attention off guys too old for you.

I understand it. You’re young, possibly insecure and you want someone other than your family members to tell you you’re beautiful. However, it isn’t worth sharing your body with the entire internet.

Don’t get me wrong if you’re 16 or older and feel comfortable taking a picture of yourself in your underwear and putting it on social media, go ahead. Why are we judging girls for posting pictures of themselves in their underwear on social media when they would be caught wearing the same amount of clothing when they go to a swimming pool or the beach?

In today’s society, people constantly beg and ask for the female body but as soon as they see it the woman is normally considered a “whore” or a “slut”. Is this because she is comfortable and confident in how she looks naked? Are we going to judge and punish her for being happy in her own skin?

Considering the amount of shit women have to read on a daily, with “lose weight” here and “no one likes a fat girl” there if there are women in 2017 who love the way they look they should be praised. With everything you see in magazines and on social media, it is difficult waking up in the morning not hating yourself.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

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Stalker Alert!

Stalker Alert!

For those who have Snapchat, you will have noticed the last update. This update means that if people have a certain setting on the app people can see their exact location at any given time.

Wherever you are, all the people on your Snapchat will be able to see.

It isn’t just “Ah I can see where you are in Surrey”, you can actually get the exact location down to what building a person is in when you zoom into the screen.

It can’t just be me that finds that a little creepy?

When I say I want to stay connected with the people in my life it means having a quick and easy means of contacting them, not knowing their location for every second of the day.

Most people are worried about their partners finding out they are cheating on them but don’t seem to realise this also creates more opportunities for stalkers, murderers, rapists etc. Less worryingly so it may create tension between friendships as well. Next time your group of mates don’t invite you to something you’ll know about it.

To be honest with you I don’t massively care about this new update. There are only ever really three locations in which I’d be at; work, home or the gym. I am aware I don’t lead the most exciting life.

The worse thing is there are younger children using the app, whether that be with or without their parents’ knowledge, and they are unlikely to understand the risk of sharing your location with absolutely everyone. While it may be fine if you only have your friends on your Snapchat there may be younger children who are adding whoever because again they don’t understand the risks involved.

It isn’t just Snapchat that has added this feature, apps such as Facebook, have also got on this hype. Personally, I don’t quite understand the need to know someone’s location. Do we all just live in a state of paranoia or FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) where we constantly need to know where our friends, families or partners are at any given time of the day?

Is this generation really that insecure?

Gracie x

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Twitter: @gracievhemphill

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Why Do People Get Plastic Surgery?

Why Do People Get Plastic Surgery?

They are two main reasons why one decides to get plastic surgery. The first reason is because of an accident, a birth defect or an illness. The person has been disfigured in some way and they are hoping the plastic surgery will help with both their suffering and their embarrassment.

However, I want to discuss the second reason people get plastic surgery.

The second reason people get plastic surgery is to become more attractive. To cover up insecurities that they no longer want to deal with.

Everyone has their own flaws and sometimes people can get too insecure about their flaws. People can get so insecure to the point they feel they need to get something done to improve on it.

Whilst plastic surgery has decreased in general in 2017 the most popular surgery in 2016 were boob jobs. This is mainly due to the fact that women are constantly told that small boobs are considered unattractive. I understand a lot of people believe bigger is better but that isn’t necessarily the case. Wouldn’t you prefer natural over fake anyway?

I get it. Not everyone is blessed with fantastic genetics and sometimes the flaws you have or think you have isn’t something that can be changed by yourself. For example, someone who is overweight and is self-conscious about their weight can change how they look themselves. Whilst losing weight is not an easy process, especially for some who may not be naturally slim, you don’t immediately have to go to plastic surgery to get the results you want. However, if you’re an adult female who has done her necessary growing and is still flat chested, there’s nothing you can do to change that.

Personally, I am somewhat against plastic surgery where it is unnecessary. You have to bear in mind there are always going to be risks involved and if you’re only going through the procedure to look “better”, is it worth it?

Maybe because I don’t see anything wrong with my own body I can’t understand the need for plastic surgery. As long as the person was doing the surgery for themselves and not someone else. But let’s be honest here we always tell ourselves we are doing it for us when subconsciously it is for someone else.

For example, when you get ready for the day is there someone from your work, college or university that you think about when picking out your outfit?

Maybe these people who are getting the plastic surgery done for themselves when subconsciously they are thinking about what other people think of them?

However, there are some people out there who no matter how much you love them they will continue to hate themselves and the way they look. It is one thing to be bullied at school because of your appearance but it is another thing to constantly see on social media or in magazines that you aren’t the definition of beauty in today’s society.

We live in a world where people are obsessed with being attractive. Is it your fault for not loving that person hard enough or were they always going to go for the plastic surgery anyway?

Gracie x

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Twitter: @gracievhemphill

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Is Makeup False Advertising?

Is Makeup False Advertising?

False advertising is when you show a product as being something it isn’t, so in terms of a woman wearing makeup could it be considered false advertisement?

Technically, yes. If we were selling ourselves. To be considered as false advertising we have to be advertising something in the first place.

Makeup is used to cover up any flaws or imperfections on the face or is used to merely make the face seem pristine and flawless. Whether it be used to cover up acne and bags under the eyes or give yourself a photoshopped model look. Makeup makes us the best version of ourselves we want to be. A bit like alcohol.

Personally, I don’t bother with makeup unless it is on a special occasion or a night out. This isn’t because I believe I am walking perfection or anything like that. I mean I know I’m not unattractive but everyone looks better with makeup with that being its entire purpose in existing. I’m just too lazy to get up earlier to make sure I look better, I’d rather have the sleep than flawless skin. Also, like every other woman product, makeup is expensive.

Makeup does hide who we actually are. However, if you see a girl on a night out who has glittery eyelids, assume that isn’t how she naturally looks.

A lot of men assume we wear makeup for their benefit or to get their attention. After all, looks being the first thing that grabs people’s attention. However, have you ever thought about us spending all that time and effort on our face for our own benefit? I hardly ever wear makeup but when I do bother I do feel like walking perfection.

You constantly tell us you prefer us to be natural but yet you don’t like the sight of our faces when we do that, so what is it to be?

Gracie x

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Twitter: @gracievhemphill

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White Guys Get Away With Everything

White Guys Get Away With Everything

A few months back there was a case where a rich white boy called Brock Turner. He sexually assaulted a 23-year-old women whilst she was unconscious. He should have been sentenced for 14 years but instead got a lenient sentence of 6 months due to the fact he is an athlete and staying in prison for that amount of time would affect his progress. After 3 months he was released.

Something about white boys in chinos. They get away with everything.

The criminal recently wrote a statement discussing how the event had affected him. How traumatic it must have been to sexually assault a woman.

Instead of taking responsibility for his actions and showing remorse for his behaviour he blamed it on the “party culture”. He blamed it on alcohol and the risk-taking behaviour you have on a night out.

If every time someone got drunk they committed sexual assault alcohol would have been banned by now. Regardless of the alcohol, you would have committed the crime. Same with people who cheat on their partners. They could have done it sober but then they wouldn’t have an excuse to tell people.

“A steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action”. This lovely quote was said by the criminal’s father. He said this as he believed that 6-month sentence was too severe on his son. This comment alone makes me sick. It suggests that a woman’s main purpose in life is to be there for men’s needs. Whilst that may have been the case in the olden days when women were nothing more than owned property it is definitely not the case now.

And don’t lie, Brock, you didn’t last 20 minutes.

I think there should be a blanket rule for whenever someone commits a serious crime; if you’re a dickhead you get punished.

The only thing that causes rape is a rapist. No amount of alcohol, drugs or clothing can make that anyone else’s fault.

Gracie x

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