What Happens When You Think You’re Attractive

What Happens When You Think You’re Attractive

There is this unwritten social rule that suggests that if someone gives you a compliment you have two choices on how to respond:

  1. Deny anything they say
  2. Say thanks and accept the compliment

Apparently agreeing with the person makes you a narcissist. Especially for girls, we are expected to be beautiful but not know it. We are meant to be all these great things but act as though we are worthless.

Suddenly, as soon as we agree with the compliment men tend to get angry and take back what they have just said. They may even get to the point of giving you an insult instead. Because what is the point in telling me I’m attractive if I already know? Just because I agree with what you said doesn’t make it any less true.

Now I decide to agree with what you said I’m suddenly full of myself.

We live in a society where men are believed to be these overconfident walking pieces of art and women are little insecure school girls who depend on a man to make her feel good about herself.

What really makes me laugh and something I will never understand is when women give other women compliments. As an automatic reaction, we will give ourselves unrealistic insults instead of accepting praise. Suddenly, we all become obese, ugly whores. Suddenly, if you agree you’re the over confident bitch of the friendship group that everyone is green with envy over. For those of you who don’t understand what girls are like when it comes to compliments from other girls this video explains it all.

Moral of the story, whether it is men or women we are not allowed to accept compliments.

It makes us arrogant if we agree with your compliments but it is also attention seeking if we constantly deny them all. So, what are we meant to do?

Another thing to bear in mind is that if someone’s comments on you or your appearance make you feel uncomfortable, you don’t owe them a thank you. You don’t owe them anything.

Isn’t it crazy it is more socially acceptable to walk around self-loathing yourself than to accept compliments?

Gracie x

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Career or Children?

Career or Children?

Most people in their 20s start to plan out their life. Working out when the right time to have children? Or working out what career path to take? And then you must work out what you want to achieve first; a family or a career? For a lot of people beforehand they could have both children and a career.

However, the economy is fucked.

People in their 20s and 30s can’t settle down with anyone because they can’t even move out of their parents’ house. You can’t really plan on having a family in the same place you used masturbate vigorously during those nights as a lonely teen.

As suggested by the lower birth rates a lot of people decide to spend their time and effort focusing on their career rather than having a family.

The prices of houses have continued to rise however, the wages have not. A lot of young adults see owning a house as a goal they would hope to achieve than something they can see happening in the foreseeable future. I should be happy with the amount of money I have been able to save but I’m not, as it is nothing compared to the deposit I shall need to buy a place of my own.

For those who decide to move out into rental accommodation until they have the money to finally own a place of their own, they will become unstuck. I understand there are certain circumstances that mean you have to move out and rent. For example, if you have to be closer to a university, if you are getting kicked out or if you can’t hold back the urge to kill your parents anymore. But if you are just moving out for the sake of moving out instead of saving you shall be spending all your wages on rent.

Not only will you not be in a financially stable position to have children you may be stuck renting a flat or apartment and physically won’t be able to cater for them either.

Before any of you middle to old aged people pipe up, I’m not just moaning for the sake of moaning. This is a serious national problem and it doesn’t matter if we look at moving to Scotland or fucking London we are all struggling.

Whilst I don’t want any children I am scared of the fact I am possibly going into one of the lowest paying jobs ever. Fucking writing. While it may depend on what route I go into it is still pretty low pay compared to other careers. However, I am passionate about writing and therefore the money doesn’t bother me too much. As long as I can move out of my parents’ house before it gets embarrassing, it should be all good.

A lot of young adults who want children are scared that that isn’t an option anymore. You want to be able to give your child the world, not bring them up in a state of constant instability. For many of us, we also have this biological clock ticking in our ears, constantly reminding us that we don’t have all the time in the world to waste.

What makes the least amount of sense is that all the high paying jobs are in the big cities. However, to own a property in one of the big cities is a joke. So a lot of people taking advantage of the better jobs are already financially privileged? Seems a little unfair.

We are constantly being treated like we are whiny bitches that haven’t grown out of our adolescence yet. But in reality, a lot of us crave to be an adult and to gain that independence.

Oh, but don’t worry about me, I’m just a spoilt millennial who is used to always been giving everything I want.

Gracie x

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Twitter: @gracievhemphill

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Why Do We Do This?

Why Do We Do This?

After living for nineteen years you see a lot of behaviours that people do that make no sense.

Imagine this scenario, you are out for dinner and you order your food. You wait for your food and start eating. However, you can’t even manage to swallow the first mouth full because it is cold. It isn’t lukewarm and could probably go unnoticed, it is stone cold.   Funnily enough I didn’t realise I had to mention to the waitress that I wanted my chicken burger hot.

The waiter or waitress comes back and asks you how your food is doing. Now, the majority of the UK will do the usual; say it is fine when in reality it could not be any more further away from being fine.

However, if you’ve ever had a meal with my dad; you’ll end up having it sent back three times and still get the meal for free. The only reason he does that is because he’s Scottish. Whilst English people are taught to be polite, Scottish people are taught not to give a fuck.

You are going to have to pay either way, why not pay for something you can at least appreciate?

Most of us, live our lives wanting to avoid confrontational events or arguments with strangers, especially when it is subjective. In this situation, it is your word against the employee on whether the food is cold. Most of time they will just get you a new meal to avoid any problems with their manager.

You could even be eating a salad made of shit and still say everything is fine. It is why a lot of people tend to order the same meals when they visit a restaurant more than once. They know they will enjoy the meal and there won’t be any need to cause any problems.

For those who have read previous blog posts or know me personally, you’ll know I tend to be quite honest. However, my honesty can make me come across as someone who is quite rude but I still have a filter like everyone else and I don’t say unnecessary things that are going to hurt people. I tend to say how it is, and in today’s society, that can offend a lot of people. Even if it isn’t directed at them.

I’ve been determined to be honest in a world full of liars.

 

Is University Even Worth It?

Is University Even Worth It?

You are looking at spending just short of £30K for the three years of you studying and the degree itself doesn’t even guarantee you a job. You end up walking away with a huge amount of debt, but now you have a degree. Whether you actually end up using that degree is a different matter.

And what if you spend all that time studying and then decide you want to have a career in a different area, which then requires another degree. What do you do then?

In order to get the job you want, you need to gain experience, but in order to get the experience, you need the job. I think unless you are wanting to be a lawyer or a doctor you don’t need a degree. There are cheaper and more effective ways to get the experience you need to get the job.

As years, have gone by the price of degrees has risen but the value of the degree itself has fallen. It would be understandable if the rise in tuition fees corresponded with the rise of wages. But it doesn’t.

When we are younger, we get told we can be anything. Absolutely anything. There are no strings attached. That’s why when you ask children in reception and kindergarten what they want to be when they are older, you hear so many creative and imaginative ideas. They don’t bear in mind whether higher education is required or whether it is even a good paying job because they don’t realise what else is involved when choosing a career.

You get to a certain age and you realise you have been told a white lie. You can still be anything you want, as long as you follow these rules. You have to do well in school and get the right grades. You have to continue onto higher education. You start to notice that whilst you can still be anything you want, not everyone can.

Normally, those who want to pursue a career in the creative arts are the ones who get the most grief. You got told you could be anything you wanted, so why are people getting so angry because you want to go into acting? Whether it is music, drama, art or fictional writing you will most likely have heard this phrase at least once:

“Get a real job”

No one is going to be able to give you a solid definition of what a “real job” is. Not even Google. And if Google can’t answer your question, you are fucked.

I have come up with a list of things that I have seen linked to “real jobs”. A job must have four or more of the five categories below for it to be classed as real:

  • It must require a paid higher education qualification. For example, to become a nurse you do have to complete a qualification at nursing school, although you don’t necessarily need a degree.
  • It must be well paid
  • You must have a boss or a position you can move up to
  • It must require you to dress up in smart or formal clothing
  • And it must also require a routine schedule that you must follow.

If you are in a job that ticks less than four of those categories, unfortunately, it is imaginary.

So, you can still be anything you want but it has to be a real job. For example, J. K Rowling is a writer but because she is well paid it is a real job but for me writing is just a hobby, right?

We end up being brainwashed into thinking that if you pick the right subject, you’ll get the right job which will eventually lead to success. In reality, you could not have gone to university and become just as successful as someone who has. Remember, that time students are studying non-students are gaining experience through internships and apprenticeships.

I’m not saying don’t go to university because there are a lot of opportunities, you can meet new people and most importantly get drunk all the time. However, I can get drunk all the time sat in my bedroom and I don’t have to pay £9000 a year.

 

 

This Is for Those Parents Who Spoil Their Children

This Is for Those Parents Who Spoil Their Children

You are one of the reasons I am an angry individual. I say one as a lot of things infuriate me and we haven’t got time to go into that.

Whether you give your children money, gifts or both it is all the same principle. Even young children who can’t get a job should be disciplined to learn that they have to work to get rewards. For example, each chore is worth a certain amount of money. Then they will feel proud for earning that money than just being given it for nothing. Spoilt teens are one thing but spoilt children are difficult to control. They will moan and whine until you give in and they get what they want.

And I know what you’re thinking. “I’m not letting some nineteen-year-old tell me how to raise my kids”

Although, I have never had children I have been brought up in a large family. I’m one of six to be exact. I also happened to go to a private school for almost a decade. And I have seen the little arseholes some people give birth to.

Also, I used to watch a lot of Super Nanny, so I’m clearly an expert now.

These children grow up and feel entitled. They believe they can get whatever they want because Mummy and Daddy will get it for them. Whether this is backstage concert tickets or a scholarship; these children believe that money can get them anything rather than hard work.

Let me guess; your son or daughter is either in education or just finished education. They haven’t found a job yet but don’t worry they will. Until that day you’ll support them, right?

I hate to break it to you, but unless you threaten them with a cut of their allowance, they aren’t going to move their butts. Because everything is being given to them, why should they bother to work for anything?

Even if you do cut their allowance and tell them they need to get a job, they are going to struggle. It’s ok having all the qualifications in the world but if you have no work experience or employment history; companies aren’t going to look at you.

These teenagers turn into adults that think they are Jesus. They believe they can treat everyone like shit because they are angry. They have been thrown into the adult world after having to work for everything now. Their childhood taught them that they can get whatever they want without doing anything. Or even if they had to moan, their parents were soft and would give in almost immediately.

And now they have to work to earn the money they were originally just being given.

Currently, I work 5 days a week in a retail position I don’t massively enjoy, however, I do it to support myself for the time being until I find something to do that I do enjoy. This doesn’t include me spending a day, traveling into London, to do an unpaid internship. I manage my spending, I will admit that I’m not the best at it but I try not to indulge in things I don’t need. The last time I asked my parents for money was when I was at college working 15 hours a week and needed money for trains. But even then, once I found a better paying job, I paid for that myself.

As a child, like I said before, I went to a private school. I had to experience friends of mine getting new things every day, week or month and at the time I felt jealous. I’m glad I was brought up the way I was because I work so hard to get to where I am today. I spent months applying to different jobs online to get that internship and even then I was fighting for the place between sixty other applicants. Whilst it may seem small, it is a step in the right direction. It makes me proud to say that I got there by myself with none of my parents’ money being involved.

 

 

Why Don’t Straight People “Come Out”?

Why Don’t Straight People “Come Out”?

People who are either bisexual or gay have to do this excruciating event, called ‘Coming Out’. This normally involves getting the relevant family members and telling them personal matters that don’t involve their input. Or you can do what I did and blog about your sexuality and hope your parents read the relevant posts. I mainly did this because I can’t form sentences correctly when talking about things that make me nervous. That is why I am a writer and not a public speaker.

Some family members either already knew it or are fine with it. Unfortunately, some are massively homophobic and some believe you can change. It isn’t like I’m asking whether this dress looks good on me. I didn’t ask for your opinion, I was merely letting you know of the facts.

Youtubers sometimes use their sexuality as a way to get views. They will sit in front of the camera and tell all their fans that they are gay or bisexual, maybe even shed a tear if possible. In all honesty, some of the Youtubers that did do videos of them “Coming Out”, I already guessed were gay.

“But, Grace how many times have you done blog posts that mention your bisexuality?”

Yes, I have done a couple of pieces about my sexuality and I’m not going to lie, it does get me an average of more views than most posts but then I have an advantage that Youtubers don’t. A blog is basically a public journal for online. In any journal or diary, you write about yourself. So, I am allowed to write about my sexuality as many times as I want, I’m not forcing you to read it.

Anyway, the whole reason this topic came to my mind is because I saw a video on Youtube that Buzzfeed did a couple of years back titled “If Straight People Had to Come Out”. It is pretty hilarious but it did get me thinking, why don’t straight people have to come out?

I think it is mainly because it is more common to be straight. And unless you are extremely camp and radiate gay, until you come out people assume you are straight. Religious people also believe that being gay is a sin. Therefore, that may be another reason why straight people don’t have to come out.

The real reason straight people don’t have to come out is because it is considered the norm.

It doesn’t effect anything in your life. For example, you can still have children the same without worrying about either adoption or sperm donors. You are not doing anything sinful and none of the Gods, wherever they happen to be, will be angry.

I was considered straight for quite a while as I wasn’t sure it was necessary to tell people I was bisexual and one thing I noticed which seems quite stupid, is the whole being gay and proud thing. You can put it on social media, wear a top or do whatever and state to everyone that you are gay and proud. Obviously, because not everyone is comfortable with people being gay or bisexual, some people have had more of a struggle when it comes to family members and coming out. When you do say I’m gay and proud, you are also saying that you don’t care what other people think and you’re happy the way you are.

However, if you are straight and proud, apparently, that isn’t allowed. It is more socially acceptable to be straight and therefore straight people aren’t allowed to be proud because they haven’t been through enough shit. Gay people please get off your high horse. Anyway, can be proud of whatever sexuality or gender they are. There are no written rules on who can or cannot be proud.

Moral of the story don’t assume anything. It will make you look stupid if you happen to have the wrong end of the stick.

We Live. We Die. What Is The Point?

We Live. We Die. What Is The Point?

As most of us have probably worked out by now, death is going to happen no matter what we do. So why do we bother, if we are all going to die in the end anyway?

Think about it in terms of chocolate. If you had unlimited chocolate, how would you feel? I’m sure the first few bites would be the best feelings in the world. But the more you eat the more uncomfortable it gets.

Say if we were immortal, it would probably be great for the first couple hundred years and then you’ll start questioning everything. What is the point in living forever? Once you have achieved everything you wanted to, what is the point in continuing to live?

Whilst in education I developed the mind-set of that we spend all our lives in school to then work ourselves to death. Not to mention those who grow up to have a family and you’re then made to deal with their shit too.

We have no purpose but we have no density either. This means you can do absolutely anything with the time you have been given.

Back to the chocolate analogy, there is no purpose in eating the chocolate. Apart from enjoyment. However, this is a subjective purpose. So I may enjoy eating the chocolate and you may enjoy eating the chocolate but in different ways.

Another way of thinking is with all the technology in the world no phone, laptop or computer lasts forever. However when you brought your phone you were probably aware that it wasn’t going to last forever and at one point it would die on you.

So if it is not going to last forever, why waste your money buying it? You got it in the moment and during the time you were using the device, it would be working at its full potential. There is no point keeping a machine that no longer works the way it used to.

That’s how life works. Nothing lasts forever, including us.

One thing to bear in mind is that once we do die, we pass out of existence. Therefore there is no objective meaning to anyone’s life. So whether you turn out to be like Hitler or Mother Teresa, once you are dead no one can hold you accountable.