Being Alone is Okay

Being Alone is Okay

I have never been a huge lover of other people. Some I can tolerate more than others but mostly I prefer to be by myself.

Before you ask, no I’m not sad by myself nor do I feel lonely by myself.

People assume that being alone is a negative thing or a problem that needs to be fixed. When in reality it isn’t even a problem in the first place. Whilst we need some social interaction, we also need some alone time.

When I say alone time I’m not talking about being lonely. Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. Feeling alone is a positive mind set whilst feeling lonely is a negative one. Being lonely normally means you feel you need other people to fill a void in you.

For those who know me, I have been single for the last couple months now after being in a 2 and a half year relationship. It’s been great, for one I’ve had more money but also I have had more alone time. Break ups are never easy and I’m not saying I was able to walk away from it without a little pain but after all that time with someone always being there; it is peaceful to be alone. Some people find breakups more difficult than others and just because someone is able to move on quicker than others doesn’t mean they are a bad person or were never “in love”.

Being alone is seen as socially acceptable in certain circumstances; such as having a beverage in a coffee shop, going to the gym or travelling on public transport. But suddenly seen as not socially acceptable when you start going shopping by yourself or eating by yourself.

At the end of the day, I would rather be alone than surround myself with people who didn’t care about me or who made me feel down about myself.

If you have read up to this section of the post congratulations. For those of you who possibly care you may have noticed that this is the first blog post in about 2 weeks; read the previous blog post to work out why that is. I have also decided to maintain this blog I am only going to write once a week rather than three times. I will most likely be posting every Wednesday from now on, however, you can either read my past blog entries or get yourself a copy of my book if you miss me that much!

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Writer’s Block Is A Bitch

Writer’s Block Is A Bitch

I have been writing on my blog for nearly a year now. Over that time I have changed certain things I do; how often I write, what I write about, where I get my inspiration from. Etc. For example, when I first started I wanted to write every day and I did for a while. But I realised I wasn’t writing anything worth reading and I’d feel guilty every time I missed a day.

Now, I try to post at least three times a week; on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening. Most of the time I create three posts which I’m happy and I rarely struggle when it comes to content.

However, and I think I can say this on behalf of all creative people, there are days where it doesn’t matter what you do you don’t know what to create.

I can sit at my desk, hyped up on caffeine and be ready to write. Be motivated to get the majority of the work already done in that one evening. But your mind is empty; you either can’t think of anything to write or the topics you do think of aren’t worth filling up a page with.

And suddenly I think “oh shit am I about to go and work in the wrong industry?”. Because if I am struggling to write for my little online blog 3 times a week surely I would struggle with a full-time job in writing.

I realise that isn’t the case. Every writer gets writer’s block, it is more how you decide to move on from it. Normally, a lot of what I write about is topics that make me angry. As bad as it sounds I find it a lot easier to write about my opinion and it is easier to work out what my opinion is when something irritates me.

So sometimes if I can’t think of content it is most likely because nothing has made me mad. Which is good for me but bad for my blog. If I get a writer’s block one of the first things I do is come up with other ways to create content.

For example, today I am not angry. I am not upset. I am not emotional about anything. This selection of words is my uninterrupted brain flow. I don’t normally do this, just sit and write and see what my brain creates. I am normally organised and plan what I want to write.

Sometimes I get so annoyed at myself for not producing content that I have to walk away; whether that be a day, a few days or a week. I hate doing it but it is always the best thing for me.

Who knows maybe by the time this gets posted my writer’s block will have gone. And I don’t know why I am telling you any of this. As a blogger, I am allowed a life outside my online persona and sometimes that life can take over.

And this isn’t me saying sorry because I know I don’t have to be. This merely me allowing you to see inside my head. Well part of it anyway.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My book: “Letters to my Past”

Nobody Cares About You

Nobody Cares About You

One thing I have noticed in my life is that nobody really cares.

Compared to the universe we are a speck of dust. Whilst you may have close friends and family who take interest in various parts of your life, they don’t care about you as much as you think they do. While it may be harsh, unfortunately, the world doesn’t revolve around you.

A lot of people, including myself, struggle with the fear of failing. They struggle with anxiety and wondering what people will think of them. They are obsessed with other people’s approval and as a result, take that approval to equal their self-worth.

But, if no one truly cares, then it doesn’t matter if you fail or succeed in life. Because the only person who is affected by it is you and as cliché as it sounds, as long as you put the effort in it’s not your fault you failed.

Personally, I have avoided blog posts or the idea of writing a fictional novel because it looked difficult and therefore gave me a chance to fail. But my blog and any other writing I do is for my benefit. Yes, there are people who read my work. There are people who have commented positive things about it, there are also people who have commented not so positive things about it. But at the end of the day if I wasn’t happy with the content I wrote it wouldn’t have gone on the blog.

No one cares and no one remembers your mistakes. In actual fact, they are more likely to remember times when you have succeeded; as human beings are jealous creatures.

You may be thinking if no one cares why should I bother trying to succeed, after all, I only do it to impress people? Whatever goal you are working on currently make sure it is something that will make you happy rather than anyone else.

And if you mess up it doesn’t matter because no one cares. Neither should you.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

I am an Extroverted Introvert

I am an Extroverted Introvert

Like with most personality traits there is a scale when it comes to introversion and extroversion. Some people are definitely either one or the other but some people are a bit of both.

Don’t tell me I can’t be both, I mean I’m already bi so I obviously have a thing with not making decisions.

An ambivert is someone who has the combination of both introvert and extrovert characteristics. The fact there is a definition for this must mean it’s a thing as well.

Here are a few examples of why I believe I’m an extroverted introvert:

  1. Whether my evening consists of going out for drinks with a few mates or ordering pizza and watching Netflix alone, I will enjoy both options equally. It does also depend on my mood as I may be more inclined to do one than the other.
  2. Introverts tend to find socialising emotionally draining, whereas with me there are some people where I can feel physically exhausted from talking to them for 5 minutes. However, there are some people I could talk to for days and I would never feel drained.
  3. There are times where I can be with a group of people and be completely quiet the entire time and sometimes I can be the loudest one in the room.
  4. I don’t actually mind meeting new people. Although I’d probably prefer hanging out with people I already know quite well.
  5. Whilst I can do small talk I secretly hate it. I can’t be bothered with all this “How are you and how was your weekend” bullshit. In all honesty, I don’t care about your weekend and I know you don’t care about mine.
  6. I love my alone time like any other introvert, however, after too much alone time, I can either feel bored or lonely.
  7. I can be a good listener but I also appreciate it when someone listens to my endless rants.

It is basically all about balance so some days I will be a bit more introverted and some days I will be more extroverted. It also depends on my mood. But if you’ve felt that you have never been able to put into yourself in one category or the other it may be because you’re an ambivert.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My book is finally here! You can get a copy of “Letters to my Past” by clicking here!

 

What Happens When You Think You’re Attractive

What Happens When You Think You’re Attractive

There is this unwritten social rule that suggests that if someone gives you a compliment you have two choices on how to respond:

  1. Deny anything they say
  2. Say thanks and accept the compliment

Apparently agreeing with the person makes you a narcissist. Especially for girls, we are expected to be beautiful but not know it. We are meant to be all these great things but act as though we are worthless.

Suddenly, as soon as we agree with the compliment men tend to get angry and take back what they have just said. They may even get to the point of giving you an insult instead. Because what is the point in telling me I’m attractive if I already know? Just because I agree with what you said doesn’t make it any less true.

Now I decide to agree with what you said I’m suddenly full of myself.

We live in a society where men are believed to be these overconfident walking pieces of art and women are little insecure school girls who depend on a man to make her feel good about herself.

What really makes me laugh and something I will never understand is when women give other women compliments. As an automatic reaction, we will give ourselves unrealistic insults instead of accepting praise. Suddenly, we all become obese, ugly whores. Suddenly, if you agree you’re the over confident bitch of the friendship group that everyone is green with envy over. For those of you who don’t understand what girls are like when it comes to compliments from other girls this video explains it all.

Moral of the story, whether it is men or women we are not allowed to accept compliments.

It makes us arrogant if we agree with your compliments but it is also attention seeking if we constantly deny them all. So, what are we meant to do?

Another thing to bear in mind is that if someone’s comments on you or your appearance make you feel uncomfortable, you don’t owe them a thank you. You don’t owe them anything.

Isn’t it crazy it is more socially acceptable to walk around self-loathing yourself than to accept compliments?

Gracie x

Facebook: graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Intsagram: @graciehemphill

Career or Children?

Career or Children?

Most people in their 20s start to plan out their life. Working out when the right time to have children? Or working out what career path to take? And then you must work out what you want to achieve first; a family or a career? For a lot of people beforehand they could have both children and a career.

However, the economy is fucked.

People in their 20s and 30s can’t settle down with anyone because they can’t even move out of their parents’ house. You can’t really plan on having a family in the same place you used masturbate vigorously during those nights as a lonely teen.

As suggested by the lower birth rates a lot of people decide to spend their time and effort focusing on their career rather than having a family.

The prices of houses have continued to rise however, the wages have not. A lot of young adults see owning a house as a goal they would hope to achieve than something they can see happening in the foreseeable future. I should be happy with the amount of money I have been able to save but I’m not, as it is nothing compared to the deposit I shall need to buy a place of my own.

For those who decide to move out into rental accommodation until they have the money to finally own a place of their own, they will become unstuck. I understand there are certain circumstances that mean you have to move out and rent. For example, if you have to be closer to a university, if you are getting kicked out or if you can’t hold back the urge to kill your parents anymore. But if you are just moving out for the sake of moving out instead of saving you shall be spending all your wages on rent.

Not only will you not be in a financially stable position to have children you may be stuck renting a flat or apartment and physically won’t be able to cater for them either.

Before any of you middle to old aged people pipe up, I’m not just moaning for the sake of moaning. This is a serious national problem and it doesn’t matter if we look at moving to Scotland or fucking London we are all struggling.

Whilst I don’t want any children I am scared of the fact I am possibly going into one of the lowest paying jobs ever. Fucking writing. While it may depend on what route I go into it is still pretty low pay compared to other careers. However, I am passionate about writing and therefore the money doesn’t bother me too much. As long as I can move out of my parents’ house before it gets embarrassing, it should be all good.

A lot of young adults who want children are scared that that isn’t an option anymore. You want to be able to give your child the world, not bring them up in a state of constant instability. For many of us, we also have this biological clock ticking in our ears, constantly reminding us that we don’t have all the time in the world to waste.

What makes the least amount of sense is that all the high paying jobs are in the big cities. However, to own a property in one of the big cities is a joke. So a lot of people taking advantage of the better jobs are already financially privileged? Seems a little unfair.

We are constantly being treated like we are whiny bitches that haven’t grown out of our adolescence yet. But in reality, a lot of us crave to be an adult and to gain that independence.

Oh, but don’t worry about me, I’m just a spoilt millennial who is used to always been giving everything I want.

Gracie x

Facebook: graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

IG: @graciehemphill

 

Why Do We Do This?

Why Do We Do This?

After living for nineteen years you see a lot of behaviours that people do that make no sense.

Imagine this scenario, you are out for dinner and you order your food. You wait for your food and start eating. However, you can’t even manage to swallow the first mouth full because it is cold. It isn’t lukewarm and could probably go unnoticed, it is stone cold.   Funnily enough I didn’t realise I had to mention to the waitress that I wanted my chicken burger hot.

The waiter or waitress comes back and asks you how your food is doing. Now, the majority of the UK will do the usual; say it is fine when in reality it could not be any more further away from being fine.

However, if you’ve ever had a meal with my dad; you’ll end up having it sent back three times and still get the meal for free. The only reason he does that is because he’s Scottish. Whilst English people are taught to be polite, Scottish people are taught not to give a fuck.

You are going to have to pay either way, why not pay for something you can at least appreciate?

Most of us, live our lives wanting to avoid confrontational events or arguments with strangers, especially when it is subjective. In this situation, it is your word against the employee on whether the food is cold. Most of time they will just get you a new meal to avoid any problems with their manager.

You could even be eating a salad made of shit and still say everything is fine. It is why a lot of people tend to order the same meals when they visit a restaurant more than once. They know they will enjoy the meal and there won’t be any need to cause any problems.

For those who have read previous blog posts or know me personally, you’ll know I tend to be quite honest. However, my honesty can make me come across as someone who is quite rude but I still have a filter like everyone else and I don’t say unnecessary things that are going to hurt people. I tend to say how it is, and in today’s society, that can offend a lot of people. Even if it isn’t directed at them.

I’ve been determined to be honest in a world full of liars.