Stop Calling Us Crazy

Stop Calling Us Crazy

The majority of the time when a guy has gone through a recent break up you’ll hear him describe his ex as “Crazy” or a “Psycho bitch”. Was she really crazy though? Did she try to kill you in your sleep? She did she have multiple personalities and you never knew what you were coming home to? She did go around torturing and killing animals? If not then you have no right to call her crazy.

Stop blaming the women you date for your inability to have a functioning relationship.

Whatever the reason is for ending a relationship there is never one perfect person who is never at fault. The same as there is never one person to blame solely for the ending.

Don’t go around telling all your mates that the reason that you broke up was due to the fact your ex was mental. Stop trying to come across like the victim whilst purposely hiding whatever it was you did.

Guys have this idea of a perfect woman that they would like to date; any female who doesn’t follow this image is labelled as crazy. Guys like the idea of the “Cool Chick”. The “Cool Chick” is a girl who is funny, smart and unbelievably good looking. But she’s also up for whatever. Do you want a threesome with her best friend? Sure thing. And she’ll give you blowjobs without you having to even ask. She’s not a girly girl and gets on quite well with your other mates because she is “one of the lads”. She allows you to go out drinking all the time without getting paranoid or clingy. She’ll forgive you instantly if you cheat on her but don’t worry she’s too loyal to cheat on you. She is there to support you when you’ve had a stressful day but understands you don’t really care about her petty work problems so doesn’t bother you with them. Oh, and she doesn’t want children. Fuck all that commitment, am I right?

Does this “Cool Chick” exist? Probably. Would you be able to have a long term relationship with her? Course not. This girl doesn’t care about you or any of the other guys she is most likely dating. She’s not getting paranoid because she doesn’t care if she loses you to another girl or not. She is fun to be with because that’s all she is looking for. If you’re wanting a long-term relationship you will have to deal with the feelings that come along with that such as being clingy.

9 times out of 10 when a guy describes his ex as crazy she’s probably not. However, I’m not saying there are no crazy bitches out there. But I think they would probably prefer the term mentally unstable.

“Crazy” has been used so much in situations like these that it has almost lost its meaning. A bit like swearing; as a kid swear words had such an impact on me but now I use the word c*nt on a daily basis as if I were inhaling oxygen. Being called crazy is never something that gets brushed off easily. You start to question everything; am I actually a sociopath? No, your ex was just an arsehole.

That’s another thing, if guys can call all girls crazy can we call all guys arseholes?

Gracie x 

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

 

Reasons Why Some Of Us Are Built To Be Alone.

Reasons Why Some Of Us Are Built To Be Alone.

We have been taught for centuries that the way life goes is that you meet someone, you get married and you have children. And even if the marriage doesn’t work out, you’re meant to remarry. We are meant to find a partner to grow old with to avoid loneliness.

But what if some people aren’t built to spend the rest of their lives with other people?

There are some people who constantly need people to rely on and depend on. These people probably wouldn’t survive by themselves and need someone else there even if it is just for the company.

But if you can survive well on your own why bother trying to find anyone else?

Whilst the physical side of a relationship is great you may find that you aren’t one for being in a long-term relationship. Some signs you might be better off alone are that:

·       Maybe you don’t like being tied down; you like the freedom and opportunities you get given with being single and would rather not have to think of another person whenever you have to make a decision.

·       Maybe you are waiting for the perfect relationship with the perfect person. When it comes to disagreements, instead of working out a solution you would rather walk away.  You try to prevent conflicts from happening and never particularly get too close or put yourself in a vulnerable position.

·       You see being single as a positive highlight rather than a failure. If you don’t see anything wrong with being single and are then unlikely to try and change your relationships status.

·       You’re independent and whilst you can’t necessarily deal with all your problems by yourself you like to. You tend to be more decisive and more self-sufficient.

·       You’re good at saving but your partner isn’t. You don’t want all your hard work to go to waste because someone has to constantly borrow off you. Whilst you can keep your finances separate at one point your wages will cross paths. Maybe one of you earns more than the other and it puts pressure on the relationship.

·       Whilst perfection doesn’t exist you are constantly looking for it in your next partner. You’re looking for something that you won’t find and therefore no one will be able to make you happy because of your high expectations.

These are some of the few points on why some of us are built to be alone. Being alone isn’t actually as negative as some people make it seem. 

Gracie x 

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Break-Ups Aren’t Rocket Science

Break-Ups Aren’t Rocket Science

Relationships are the biggest part of our lives and when we are ancient and going through the memories of our lives, we aren’t going to be thinking about the little things. We won’t be thinking about our grades or our studies or how much chocolate we did or didn’t eat. We are going to be thinking about our relationships and wishing we did spend more time with the people we love. Whether your relationship is bad, good or great; no one likes breakups. No one likes losing a person that once spent so much time in your life.

There has been research and studies to show that breakups aren’t easy. However, there are things you can do to make it easier.

For example, delete your ex off any social media accounts. Whilst you may believe you are strong and thick skinned seeing them happy with other people isn’t going to make you feel any better. And if you really think you can’t control yourself, block them too. This will stop you typing their name in the search bars whilst you’re drunk at 1 in the morning. Again, it won’t do you any good.

Another thing would be to delete their number off your phone. To go a step further delete any message threads you may have. Basically, delete everything that may give you a chance to dial in their number. Unfortunately, if you have photographic or eidetic memory, I’m truly sorry as I have no advice for that. Is there a way of erasing memories possibly?

If you had been together a long time and know their schedule pretty well don’t purposely go out of your way to try and “bump into” them. It will come across as weird or creepy. And, what exactly do you think you’ll achieve by doing this? Because let’s be honest here, you’ll achieve nothing.

Whilst break-ups aren’t the easiest thing in the world, you can’t sit there crying yourself to sleep and feeling sorry for yourself if you aren’t doing anything about the situation to make it better. You are continue to purposely put yourself in situations that will cause more hurt then you are just asking for trouble.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

 

Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

A few people get confused between the difference between being confident and being a narcissist and sometimes will see them as the same thing. However, you can have someone portraying narcissistic behaviours and not necessarily have high self-esteem. The same as you can have someone have high self-esteem and not be narcissistic.

One thing to note is that in both cases the person is thinking highly of themselves; the main difference is normally where the recognition is coming from. For example, having high self-esteem or confidence is due to how you feel about yourself. Your self-esteem will have ups and downs throughout your life depending on how you are feeling. However, narcissism comes from the praise you get from others.

Those with high self-esteem don’t necessarily believe they are perfect whereas, a narcissist’s aim is to be the best at absolutely everything so they will either believe they have no flaws or go to great efforts to hide them. Whilst narcissists come across as being content with who they are, they are most likely as insecure as those who low self-esteem.

Yes, you can love yourself. Yes, you can go around pointing out the things you like about yourself and your appearance. But don’t call yourself a narcissist because there is so much more involved. It wouldn’t be considered a personality disorder if those were the only symptoms because in reality there is nothing wrong with being confident with yourself. Narcissism is almost always based off having low self-esteem, therefore, just because someone seems happy with themselves does not necessarily they have any mental problems.

Narcissists are just con-artists. Whilst they can come across as if they are happy with themselves, they probably still go home hating themselves as much as you do.

The best way to describe a narcissist is that they absolutely hate themselves but still believe they are better than everyone else.

We live in a world where it is socially acceptable to travel around in a bubble of self-loathing so when someone comes across and believes they are perfect we have to give them a label.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Being Alone is Okay

Being Alone is Okay

I have never been a huge lover of other people. Some I can tolerate more than others but mostly I prefer to be by myself.

Before you ask, no I’m not sad by myself nor do I feel lonely by myself.

People assume that being alone is a negative thing or a problem that needs to be fixed. When in reality it isn’t even a problem in the first place. Whilst we need some social interaction, we also need some alone time.

When I say alone time I’m not talking about being lonely. Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. Feeling alone is a positive mind set whilst feeling lonely is a negative one. Being lonely normally means you feel you need other people to fill a void in you.

For those who know me, I have been single for the last couple months now after being in a 2 and a half year relationship. It’s been great, for one I’ve had more money but also I have had more alone time. Break ups are never easy and I’m not saying I was able to walk away from it without a little pain but after all that time with someone always being there; it is peaceful to be alone. Some people find breakups more difficult than others and just because someone is able to move on quicker than others doesn’t mean they are a bad person or were never “in love”.

Being alone is seen as socially acceptable in certain circumstances; such as having a beverage in a coffee shop, going to the gym or travelling on public transport. But suddenly seen as not socially acceptable when you start going shopping by yourself or eating by yourself.

At the end of the day, I would rather be alone than surround myself with people who didn’t care about me or who made me feel down about myself.

If you have read up to this section of the post congratulations. For those of you who possibly care you may have noticed that this is the first blog post in about 2 weeks; read the previous blog post to work out why that is. I have also decided to maintain this blog I am only going to write once a week rather than three times. I will most likely be posting every Wednesday from now on, however, you can either read my past blog entries or get yourself a copy of my book if you miss me that much!

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Nobody Cares About You

Nobody Cares About You

One thing I have noticed in my life is that nobody really cares.

Compared to the universe we are a speck of dust. Whilst you may have close friends and family who take interest in various parts of your life, they don’t care about you as much as you think they do. While it may be harsh, unfortunately, the world doesn’t revolve around you.

A lot of people, including myself, struggle with the fear of failing. They struggle with anxiety and wondering what people will think of them. They are obsessed with other people’s approval and as a result, take that approval to equal their self-worth.

But, if no one truly cares, then it doesn’t matter if you fail or succeed in life. Because the only person who is affected by it is you and as cliché as it sounds, as long as you put the effort in it’s not your fault you failed.

Personally, I have avoided blog posts or the idea of writing a fictional novel because it looked difficult and therefore gave me a chance to fail. But my blog and any other writing I do is for my benefit. Yes, there are people who read my work. There are people who have commented positive things about it, there are also people who have commented not so positive things about it. But at the end of the day if I wasn’t happy with the content I wrote it wouldn’t have gone on the blog.

No one cares and no one remembers your mistakes. In actual fact, they are more likely to remember times when you have succeeded; as human beings are jealous creatures.

You may be thinking if no one cares why should I bother trying to succeed, after all, I only do it to impress people? Whatever goal you are working on currently make sure it is something that will make you happy rather than anyone else.

And if you mess up it doesn’t matter because no one cares. Neither should you.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

I am an Extroverted Introvert

I am an Extroverted Introvert

Like with most personality traits there is a scale when it comes to introversion and extroversion. Some people are definitely either one or the other but some people are a bit of both.

Don’t tell me I can’t be both, I mean I’m already bi so I obviously have a thing with not making decisions.

An ambivert is someone who has the combination of both introvert and extrovert characteristics. The fact there is a definition for this must mean it’s a thing as well.

Here are a few examples of why I believe I’m an extroverted introvert:

  1. Whether my evening consists of going out for drinks with a few mates or ordering pizza and watching Netflix alone, I will enjoy both options equally. It does also depend on my mood as I may be more inclined to do one than the other.
  2. Introverts tend to find socialising emotionally draining, whereas with me there are some people where I can feel physically exhausted from talking to them for 5 minutes. However, there are some people I could talk to for days and I would never feel drained.
  3. There are times where I can be with a group of people and be completely quiet the entire time and sometimes I can be the loudest one in the room.
  4. I don’t actually mind meeting new people. Although I’d probably prefer hanging out with people I already know quite well.
  5. Whilst I can do small talk I secretly hate it. I can’t be bothered with all this “How are you and how was your weekend” bullshit. In all honesty, I don’t care about your weekend and I know you don’t care about mine.
  6. I love my alone time like any other introvert, however, after too much alone time, I can either feel bored or lonely.
  7. I can be a good listener but I also appreciate it when someone listens to my endless rants.

It is basically all about balance so some days I will be a bit more introverted and some days I will be more extroverted. It also depends on my mood. But if you’ve felt that you have never been able to put into yourself in one category or the other it may be because you’re an ambivert.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill