Category: Relationships

Break-Ups Aren’t Rocket Science

Break-Ups Aren’t Rocket Science

Relationships are the biggest part of our lives and when we are ancient and going through the memories of our lives, we aren’t going to be thinking about the little things. We won’t be thinking about our grades or our studies or how much chocolate we did or didn’t eat. We are going to be thinking about our relationships and wishing we did spend more time with the people we love. Whether your relationship is bad, good or great; no one likes breakups. No one likes losing a person that once spent so much time in your life.

There has been research and studies to show that breakups aren’t easy. However, there are things you can do to make it easier.

For example, delete your ex off any social media accounts. Whilst you may believe you are strong and thick skinned seeing them happy with other people isn’t going to make you feel any better. And if you really think you can’t control yourself, block them too. This will stop you typing their name in the search bars whilst you’re drunk at 1 in the morning. Again, it won’t do you any good.

Another thing would be to delete their number off your phone. To go a step further delete any message threads you may have. Basically, delete everything that may give you a chance to dial in their number. Unfortunately, if you have photographic or eidetic memory, I’m truly sorry as I have no advice for that. Is there a way of erasing memories possibly?

If you had been together a long time and know their schedule pretty well don’t purposely go out of your way to try and “bump into” them. It will come across as weird or creepy. And, what exactly do you think you’ll achieve by doing this? Because let’s be honest here, you’ll achieve nothing.

Whilst break-ups aren’t the easiest thing in the world, you can’t sit there crying yourself to sleep and feeling sorry for yourself if you aren’t doing anything about the situation to make it better. You are continue to purposely put yourself in situations that will cause more hurt then you are just asking for trouble.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

 

Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

A few people get confused between the difference between being confident and being a narcissist and sometimes will see them as the same thing. However, you can have someone portraying narcissistic behaviours and not necessarily have high self-esteem. The same as you can have someone have high self-esteem and not be narcissistic.

One thing to note is that in both cases the person is thinking highly of themselves; the main difference is normally where the recognition is coming from. For example, having high self-esteem or confidence is due to how you feel about yourself. Your self-esteem will have ups and downs throughout your life depending on how you are feeling. However, narcissism comes from the praise you get from others.

Those with high self-esteem don’t necessarily believe they are perfect whereas, a narcissist’s aim is to be the best at absolutely everything so they will either believe they have no flaws or go to great efforts to hide them. Whilst narcissists come across as being content with who they are, they are most likely as insecure as those who low self-esteem.

Yes, you can love yourself. Yes, you can go around pointing out the things you like about yourself and your appearance. But don’t call yourself a narcissist because there is so much more involved. It wouldn’t be considered a personality disorder if those were the only symptoms because in reality there is nothing wrong with being confident with yourself. Narcissism is almost always based off having low self-esteem, therefore, just because someone seems happy with themselves does not necessarily they have any mental problems.

Narcissists are just con-artists. Whilst they can come across as if they are happy with themselves, they probably still go home hating themselves as much as you do.

The best way to describe a narcissist is that they absolutely hate themselves but still believe they are better than everyone else.

We live in a world where it is socially acceptable to travel around in a bubble of self-loathing so when someone comes across and believes they are perfect we have to give them a label.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Being Alone is Okay

Being Alone is Okay

I have never been a huge lover of other people. Some I can tolerate more than others but mostly I prefer to be by myself.

Before you ask, no I’m not sad by myself nor do I feel lonely by myself.

People assume that being alone is a negative thing or a problem that needs to be fixed. When in reality it isn’t even a problem in the first place. Whilst we need some social interaction, we also need some alone time.

When I say alone time I’m not talking about being lonely. Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. Feeling alone is a positive mind set whilst feeling lonely is a negative one. Being lonely normally means you feel you need other people to fill a void in you.

For those who know me, I have been single for the last couple months now after being in a 2 and a half year relationship. It’s been great, for one I’ve had more money but also I have had more alone time. Break ups are never easy and I’m not saying I was able to walk away from it without a little pain but after all that time with someone always being there; it is peaceful to be alone. Some people find breakups more difficult than others and just because someone is able to move on quicker than others doesn’t mean they are a bad person or were never “in love”.

Being alone is seen as socially acceptable in certain circumstances; such as having a beverage in a coffee shop, going to the gym or travelling on public transport. But suddenly seen as not socially acceptable when you start going shopping by yourself or eating by yourself.

At the end of the day, I would rather be alone than surround myself with people who didn’t care about me or who made me feel down about myself.

If you have read up to this section of the post congratulations. For those of you who possibly care you may have noticed that this is the first blog post in about 2 weeks; read the previous blog post to work out why that is. I have also decided to maintain this blog I am only going to write once a week rather than three times. I will most likely be posting every Wednesday from now on, however, you can either read my past blog entries or get yourself a copy of my book if you miss me that much!

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Nobody Cares About You

Nobody Cares About You

One thing I have noticed in my life is that nobody really cares.

Compared to the universe we are a speck of dust. Whilst you may have close friends and family who take interest in various parts of your life, they don’t care about you as much as you think they do. While it may be harsh, unfortunately, the world doesn’t revolve around you.

A lot of people, including myself, struggle with the fear of failing. They struggle with anxiety and wondering what people will think of them. They are obsessed with other people’s approval and as a result, take that approval to equal their self-worth.

But, if no one truly cares, then it doesn’t matter if you fail or succeed in life. Because the only person who is affected by it is you and as cliché as it sounds, as long as you put the effort in it’s not your fault you failed.

Personally, I have avoided blog posts or the idea of writing a fictional novel because it looked difficult and therefore gave me a chance to fail. But my blog and any other writing I do is for my benefit. Yes, there are people who read my work. There are people who have commented positive things about it, there are also people who have commented not so positive things about it. But at the end of the day if I wasn’t happy with the content I wrote it wouldn’t have gone on the blog.

No one cares and no one remembers your mistakes. In actual fact, they are more likely to remember times when you have succeeded; as human beings are jealous creatures.

You may be thinking if no one cares why should I bother trying to succeed, after all, I only do it to impress people? Whatever goal you are working on currently make sure it is something that will make you happy rather than anyone else.

And if you mess up it doesn’t matter because no one cares. Neither should you.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

I am an Extroverted Introvert

I am an Extroverted Introvert

Like with most personality traits there is a scale when it comes to introversion and extroversion. Some people are definitely either one or the other but some people are a bit of both.

Don’t tell me I can’t be both, I mean I’m already bi so I obviously have a thing with not making decisions.

An ambivert is someone who has the combination of both introvert and extrovert characteristics. The fact there is a definition for this must mean it’s a thing as well.

Here are a few examples of why I believe I’m an extroverted introvert:

  1. Whether my evening consists of going out for drinks with a few mates or ordering pizza and watching Netflix alone, I will enjoy both options equally. It does also depend on my mood as I may be more inclined to do one than the other.
  2. Introverts tend to find socialising emotionally draining, whereas with me there are some people where I can feel physically exhausted from talking to them for 5 minutes. However, there are some people I could talk to for days and I would never feel drained.
  3. There are times where I can be with a group of people and be completely quiet the entire time and sometimes I can be the loudest one in the room.
  4. I don’t actually mind meeting new people. Although I’d probably prefer hanging out with people I already know quite well.
  5. Whilst I can do small talk I secretly hate it. I can’t be bothered with all this “How are you and how was your weekend” bullshit. In all honesty, I don’t care about your weekend and I know you don’t care about mine.
  6. I love my alone time like any other introvert, however, after too much alone time, I can either feel bored or lonely.
  7. I can be a good listener but I also appreciate it when someone listens to my endless rants.

It is basically all about balance so some days I will be a bit more introverted and some days I will be more extroverted. It also depends on my mood. But if you’ve felt that you have never been able to put into yourself in one category or the other it may be because you’re an ambivert.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My book is finally here! You can get a copy of “Letters to my Past” by clicking here!

 

Honesty Isn’t an Excuse to be an Arsehole

Honesty Isn’t an Excuse to be an Arsehole

We always see honesty as a good thing to have and when it comes to friends and family members we would prefer people to be honest with us. Whilst it may hurt you would rather they let you know when you’re making a mistake or when an outfit or hairstyle doesn’t look good on you. Note to self; bangs rarely looks good.

However, it is when people use honesty to be rude and sometimes hurtful. Whether these people intended to be mean or not most of the time what they said hurt the person. But they believe they can get away with saying whatever because they are “only being honest”.

Before I continue my little rant I am fully aware I do this all the time. I just go along and say whatever is in my head without properly thinking if it’s the right thing to do. The majority of the time I don’t mean to hurt someone’s feelings.

Trust me you’d know if I wanted to hurt your feelings.

You can be honest and not be an arsehole. It is fine if you are being honest and it is coming from a thoughtful place. For example, if you believed a friend or family member was in an abusive relationship and you cared enough to let them know. But if in your own opinion someone has done something wrong there is probably no need to mention it.

Another example is commenting on how someone looks. If it something someone can change in five minutes, such as something being in their teeth or a piece of hair in the wrong place, let them know. If it isn’t something they can change, their weight or hair colour, don’t bother mentioning it. They will go the day feeling insecure or self-conscious and not be able to do anything about it.

I always introduce myself as a brutally honest person but in reality, maybe I’m just an arsehole.

Now, I’m not suggesting you should tell white lies to make others happy but maybe think before you speak. Think about whether the hurtful thing you’re about to say is really relevant or necessary.

And if it isn’t, shut your mouth.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Let’s Talk About Tinder

Let’s Talk About Tinder

Tinder, for those who live under a rock, is a dating app. The aim of the app is to go through various people’s profiles swiping right if you find them attractive and obviously left if not.

And if you’re lucky enough for someone to find you attractive and swipe right on you, then congratulations you can now talk. Which because your egos are too big it takes a while before anyone has the courage to message first.

Tinder is based on the fact that looks are the first thing you judge an individual on. If you’re unattractive don’t even bother with Tinder. Actually, if you’re unattractive you might fail at modern dating altogether. This generation has brought up to be shallow minded narcissists.

Not only do we believe we are the best, we also believe we deserve the very best when it comes to dating partners.

Whether you are actually looking for someone to make out with or are just bored as hell, Tinder is the app for you.

One thing I noticed as a bisexual girl tinder is very much a sausage fest; for every girl you see you have to scroll through about 10 guys profiles.

Online dating and apps such as Tinder are great for those who work full-time and don’t actually have the time to physically go out and meet people or those who are socially inept and don’t want to physically go out and meet people.

Whilst it has slightly been decreased recently, online dating was seen as something you should be embarrassed by or ashamed of. Suddenly if a couple said they had met through dating online people just assumed that they weren’t going to work out. Whether you met someone online or in real life you have the same probability of the relationship not working out.

However, if your purpose is to find your soulmate I wouldn’t be using tinder as your form of online dating. The majority of people on there are young and are wanting to have some fun, not to settle down.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill