Are you Male, Female or Offended?

Are you Male, Female or Offended?

The whole point of a census is to count all the people living in the UK monitoring basic information like race, age, and sex.

But apparently, people are getting offended and upset by being asked their gender. According to those who are either transgender or non-binary asking for someone’s gender is irrelevant and intrusive. I think it would be more intrusive if they came round your house and pulled your trousers down and went “Ah this one has balls”. Being asked to tick a box isn’t exactly the most intrusive way of finding out the answer to that question. 

In order to offend fewer people they had thought to offer an ‘Other’ option, however, that got ruled out as it would make transgender or non-binary people feel left out or not part of the community.  

The other suggestion was to have a two section question; asking firstly about your biological sex and then secondly asking what your gender was. Which in short is asking what you were born as and what you feel you are. This was also ruled as it was seen as too confusing. In all honesty, once we start to ask people how they feel about things we are opening a whole new can of worms.

“I earn X amount but I feel like I should earn more”

However, if you get offended by having to tick a box maybe you should seek professional help. One answer on a census doesn’t define you or who you are as a person. Society nowadays get so offended by anything and suddenly we can’t tell any jokes in fear of offending at least one individual in the world. The Office of National Statistics doesn’t particularly care how you feel they just want to know if there is a chance of you getting pregnant. This would then help work out how many midwives to train among other things.

If we can’t ask people questions because of the fear of offending them then we can’t have a census. If it is discriminatory to ask people about their gender then it should also be discriminatory to ask about race, occupation or even where you live.

At what point do we stop getting so politically correct?

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Is the New iPhone Worth it?

Is the New iPhone Worth it?

For those who don’t live under a rock you may have noticed Apple released three new phones; iPhone 8, 8 Plus and the iPhone X. Apple struggle with numbers ever since their first model where they started at number 3 so apparently the iPhone 9 won’t exist. I work in a phone shop so whenever a new phone is released I have to know basic information about it in order to sell it. And can I just say Apple are making it harder each year to sell their new products. And when customers come up to the counter and ask questions about the new iPhone I could be honest but instead, I have to make up some believable bullshit.

To be honest I’m sure I could say the only way to charge the new iPhone is by sticking it up your arsehole and you’d still buy it.

The iPhone 8 and 8 Plus are basically the same as the iPhone 7 and 7 Plus besides a couple features. Apple have decided to make the back of the phone glass as well so not only does the phone attract fingerprints like there is no tomorrow but when you drop your phone you will have twice the amount of damage and therefore twice the amount of cost to fix it. You will also get to see your sad disappointed face on both sides of the cracked phone.

The new iPhone 8 is more powerful than the 7, however, Apple have actually made the battery life worse because the people who buy Apple products don’t complain enough about the battery life. The megapixels on the camera haven’t actually been improved; it is the same as in the iPhone 6s. So, whilst they have improved features on the camera you won’t actually be getting any clearer of an image.

The iPhone X which isn’t actually out until the beginning of November will start at a small loan of a grand to buy, and that is only the 64gb version let alone the 256gb version. Now I understand there are people out there who can warrant and afford to spend £1000 on a phone so for those people, I shall explain if it is actually worth it.

The iPhone X is very similar to the new Samsung S8 (£689) and S8 Plus (£779), in the fact they got rid of the home button so there is more space for the screen. However, one trick Apple missed out on is that they only made one size of the iPhone X so for customers who like the larger screen they will have to sacrifice that feature if they want the iPhone X.

One feature that the iPhone X has that the Samsung S8 and S8 Plus doesn’t is facial recognition. This basically means you can open your phone with your face because that is how lazy we have all got now apparently. It does also mean looking like you are taking a selfie every time you open your phone; which is just embarrassing as no one actually wants to be caught taking a selfie.

And it is really easy; you just scan your face once when you’re wearing makeup, then again when you’re not, then again when you get your hair cut, then again when you lose that weight for your holiday and then again when that dickhead breaks up with you and you gain that weight again. But yeah easy stuff.

Whilst this new feature is exciting is it worth the extra £300? Definitely not.  

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

 

 

Reasons Why Some Of Us Are Built To Be Alone.

Reasons Why Some Of Us Are Built To Be Alone.

We have been taught for centuries that the way life goes is that you meet someone, you get married and you have children. And even if the marriage doesn’t work out, you’re meant to remarry. We are meant to find a partner to grow old with to avoid loneliness.

But what if some people aren’t built to spend the rest of their lives with other people?

There are some people who constantly need people to rely on and depend on. These people probably wouldn’t survive by themselves and need someone else there even if it is just for the company.

But if you can survive well on your own why bother trying to find anyone else?

Whilst the physical side of a relationship is great you may find that you aren’t one for being in a long-term relationship. Some signs you might be better off alone are that:

·       Maybe you don’t like being tied down; you like the freedom and opportunities you get given with being single and would rather not have to think of another person whenever you have to make a decision.

·       Maybe you are waiting for the perfect relationship with the perfect person. When it comes to disagreements, instead of working out a solution you would rather walk away.  You try to prevent conflicts from happening and never particularly get too close or put yourself in a vulnerable position.

·       You see being single as a positive highlight rather than a failure. If you don’t see anything wrong with being single and are then unlikely to try and change your relationships status.

·       You’re independent and whilst you can’t necessarily deal with all your problems by yourself you like to. You tend to be more decisive and more self-sufficient.

·       You’re good at saving but your partner isn’t. You don’t want all your hard work to go to waste because someone has to constantly borrow off you. Whilst you can keep your finances separate at one point your wages will cross paths. Maybe one of you earns more than the other and it puts pressure on the relationship.

·       Whilst perfection doesn’t exist you are constantly looking for it in your next partner. You’re looking for something that you won’t find and therefore no one will be able to make you happy because of your high expectations.

These are some of the few points on why some of us are built to be alone. Being alone isn’t actually as negative as some people make it seem. 

Gracie x 

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Causally Suicidal

Causally Suicidal

I don’t when this became a thing but every other post on social media is people joking about suicide. Whether it is a picture of a noose with the caption “Hang in there” or a picture of a bottle of bleach being in the “Back to School” sale. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who laughs at these depressing jokes. But why do we laugh? Is it because we find it funny? Relatable? Is it a coping mechanism to make us feel less uncomfortable?

It isn’t just online where people are joking about their suicidal tendencies. You can be at work or at school and suddenly someone jokingly tells you to kill yourself. I doubt they expect you to respond with “Well I was planning to last night”. You’re meant to laugh it off and see it as a joke.

I have never been one to take any of these jokes seriously and I would be lying if I said I never joke about suicide myself. Sometimes at work, I say, “This is so boring, I want to kill myself”. Do I mean it? No, I mean I have a very low tolerance for boredom but I don’t want to kill myself because of it.

Whilst we have been talking more about mental health over the years I still don’t think we have grasped the concept of suicide. “13 Reasons Why”, a Netflix TV show, tried to portray what it is like to be suicidal. However, the creators of that show didn’t do a brilliant job as they suggested that suicide was some form of revenge. Kind of like going “Ah he rejected me so I’m going to kill myself”. Which isn’t the case, you don’t kill yourself for any people’s sake.

And I realise being alive today means I probably have no expertise in the subject of suicide. But normally people kill themselves either because the chemicals in their brains don’t work the way they are meant to or because multiple things over time got too much. It would seem petty and a waste of time to kill yourself over what someone else did.

We may be aware more of mental health but there are still some habits we can’t break out of. Men are “pussys” for crying and women are “bitter bitches” for getting angry. But why? All we are doing I being human. If someone was full of joy and happiness 100% of the time there would probably be something wrong with them. We all have our down moments, some more than others, and we should be allowed to express ourselves in those moments.

I think we need to stop over sharing online and under sharing in person. We can happily tell everyone online in some form of humour that we want to die but we can’t tell the people around us when we are feeling a little down?

It doesn’t matter how uncomfortable the other person gets if you are feeling suicidal, tell someone rather than expecting them to read between the lines of your Facebook post.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

A few people get confused between the difference between being confident and being a narcissist and sometimes will see them as the same thing. However, you can have someone portraying narcissistic behaviours and not necessarily have high self-esteem. The same as you can have someone have high self-esteem and not be narcissistic.

One thing to note is that in both cases the person is thinking highly of themselves; the main difference is normally where the recognition is coming from. For example, having high self-esteem or confidence is due to how you feel about yourself. Your self-esteem will have ups and downs throughout your life depending on how you are feeling. However, narcissism comes from the praise you get from others.

Those with high self-esteem don’t necessarily believe they are perfect whereas, a narcissist’s aim is to be the best at absolutely everything so they will either believe they have no flaws or go to great efforts to hide them. Whilst narcissists come across as being content with who they are, they are most likely as insecure as those who low self-esteem.

Yes, you can love yourself. Yes, you can go around pointing out the things you like about yourself and your appearance. But don’t call yourself a narcissist because there is so much more involved. It wouldn’t be considered a personality disorder if those were the only symptoms because in reality there is nothing wrong with being confident with yourself. Narcissism is almost always based off having low self-esteem, therefore, just because someone seems happy with themselves does not necessarily they have any mental problems.

Narcissists are just con-artists. Whilst they can come across as if they are happy with themselves, they probably still go home hating themselves as much as you do.

The best way to describe a narcissist is that they absolutely hate themselves but still believe they are better than everyone else.

We live in a world where it is socially acceptable to travel around in a bubble of self-loathing so when someone comes across and believes they are perfect we have to give them a label.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Being Alone is Okay

Being Alone is Okay

I have never been a huge lover of other people. Some I can tolerate more than others but mostly I prefer to be by myself.

Before you ask, no I’m not sad by myself nor do I feel lonely by myself.

People assume that being alone is a negative thing or a problem that needs to be fixed. When in reality it isn’t even a problem in the first place. Whilst we need some social interaction, we also need some alone time.

When I say alone time I’m not talking about being lonely. Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. Feeling alone is a positive mind set whilst feeling lonely is a negative one. Being lonely normally means you feel you need other people to fill a void in you.

For those who know me, I have been single for the last couple months now after being in a 2 and a half year relationship. It’s been great, for one I’ve had more money but also I have had more alone time. Break ups are never easy and I’m not saying I was able to walk away from it without a little pain but after all that time with someone always being there; it is peaceful to be alone. Some people find breakups more difficult than others and just because someone is able to move on quicker than others doesn’t mean they are a bad person or were never “in love”.

Being alone is seen as socially acceptable in certain circumstances; such as having a beverage in a coffee shop, going to the gym or travelling on public transport. But suddenly seen as not socially acceptable when you start going shopping by yourself or eating by yourself.

At the end of the day, I would rather be alone than surround myself with people who didn’t care about me or who made me feel down about myself.

If you have read up to this section of the post congratulations. For those of you who possibly care you may have noticed that this is the first blog post in about 2 weeks; read the previous blog post to work out why that is. I have also decided to maintain this blog I am only going to write once a week rather than three times. I will most likely be posting every Wednesday from now on, however, you can either read my past blog entries or get yourself a copy of my book if you miss me that much!

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Writer’s Block Is A Bitch

Writer’s Block Is A Bitch

I have been writing on my blog for nearly a year now. Over that time I have changed certain things I do; how often I write, what I write about, where I get my inspiration from. Etc. For example, when I first started I wanted to write every day and I did for a while. But I realised I wasn’t writing anything worth reading and I’d feel guilty every time I missed a day.

Now, I try to post at least three times a week; on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening. Most of the time I create three posts which I’m happy and I rarely struggle when it comes to content.

However, and I think I can say this on behalf of all creative people, there are days where it doesn’t matter what you do you don’t know what to create.

I can sit at my desk, hyped up on caffeine and be ready to write. Be motivated to get the majority of the work already done in that one evening. But your mind is empty; you either can’t think of anything to write or the topics you do think of aren’t worth filling up a page with.

And suddenly I think “oh shit am I about to go and work in the wrong industry?”. Because if I am struggling to write for my little online blog 3 times a week surely I would struggle with a full-time job in writing.

I realise that isn’t the case. Every writer gets writer’s block, it is more how you decide to move on from it. Normally, a lot of what I write about is topics that make me angry. As bad as it sounds I find it a lot easier to write about my opinion and it is easier to work out what my opinion is when something irritates me.

So sometimes if I can’t think of content it is most likely because nothing has made me mad. Which is good for me but bad for my blog. If I get a writer’s block one of the first things I do is come up with other ways to create content.

For example, today I am not angry. I am not upset. I am not emotional about anything. This selection of words is my uninterrupted brain flow. I don’t normally do this, just sit and write and see what my brain creates. I am normally organised and plan what I want to write.

Sometimes I get so annoyed at myself for not producing content that I have to walk away; whether that be a day, a few days or a week. I hate doing it but it is always the best thing for me.

Who knows maybe by the time this gets posted my writer’s block will have gone. And I don’t know why I am telling you any of this. As a blogger, I am allowed a life outside my online persona and sometimes that life can take over.

And this isn’t me saying sorry because I know I don’t have to be. This merely me allowing you to see inside my head. Well part of it anyway.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My book: “Letters to my Past”