Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

Self-Confidence vs Narcissism

A few people get confused between the difference between being confident and being a narcissist and sometimes will see them as the same thing. However, you can have someone portraying narcissistic behaviours and not necessarily have high self-esteem. The same as you can have someone have high self-esteem and not be narcissistic.

One thing to note is that in both cases the person is thinking highly of themselves; the main difference is normally where the recognition is coming from. For example, having high self-esteem or confidence is due to how you feel about yourself. Your self-esteem will have ups and downs throughout your life depending on how you are feeling. However, narcissism comes from the praise you get from others.

Those with high self-esteem don’t necessarily believe they are perfect whereas, a narcissist’s aim is to be the best at absolutely everything so they will either believe they have no flaws or go to great efforts to hide them. Whilst narcissists come across as being content with who they are, they are most likely as insecure as those who low self-esteem.

Yes, you can love yourself. Yes, you can go around pointing out the things you like about yourself and your appearance. But don’t call yourself a narcissist because there is so much more involved. It wouldn’t be considered a personality disorder if those were the only symptoms because in reality there is nothing wrong with being confident with yourself. Narcissism is almost always based off having low self-esteem, therefore, just because someone seems happy with themselves does not necessarily they have any mental problems.

Narcissists are just con-artists. Whilst they can come across as if they are happy with themselves, they probably still go home hating themselves as much as you do.

The best way to describe a narcissist is that they absolutely hate themselves but still believe they are better than everyone else.

We live in a world where it is socially acceptable to travel around in a bubble of self-loathing so when someone comes across and believes they are perfect we have to give them a label.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Being Alone is Okay

Being Alone is Okay

I have never been a huge lover of other people. Some I can tolerate more than others but mostly I prefer to be by myself.

Before you ask, no I’m not sad by myself nor do I feel lonely by myself.

People assume that being alone is a negative thing or a problem that needs to be fixed. When in reality it isn’t even a problem in the first place. Whilst we need some social interaction, we also need some alone time.

When I say alone time I’m not talking about being lonely. Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. Feeling alone is a positive mind set whilst feeling lonely is a negative one. Being lonely normally means you feel you need other people to fill a void in you.

For those who know me, I have been single for the last couple months now after being in a 2 and a half year relationship. It’s been great, for one I’ve had more money but also I have had more alone time. Break ups are never easy and I’m not saying I was able to walk away from it without a little pain but after all that time with someone always being there; it is peaceful to be alone. Some people find breakups more difficult than others and just because someone is able to move on quicker than others doesn’t mean they are a bad person or were never “in love”.

Being alone is seen as socially acceptable in certain circumstances; such as having a beverage in a coffee shop, going to the gym or travelling on public transport. But suddenly seen as not socially acceptable when you start going shopping by yourself or eating by yourself.

At the end of the day, I would rather be alone than surround myself with people who didn’t care about me or who made me feel down about myself.

If you have read up to this section of the post congratulations. For those of you who possibly care you may have noticed that this is the first blog post in about 2 weeks; read the previous blog post to work out why that is. I have also decided to maintain this blog I am only going to write once a week rather than three times. I will most likely be posting every Wednesday from now on, however, you can either read my past blog entries or get yourself a copy of my book if you miss me that much!

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Writer’s Block Is A Bitch

Writer’s Block Is A Bitch

I have been writing on my blog for nearly a year now. Over that time I have changed certain things I do; how often I write, what I write about, where I get my inspiration from. Etc. For example, when I first started I wanted to write every day and I did for a while. But I realised I wasn’t writing anything worth reading and I’d feel guilty every time I missed a day.

Now, I try to post at least three times a week; on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening. Most of the time I create three posts which I’m happy and I rarely struggle when it comes to content.

However, and I think I can say this on behalf of all creative people, there are days where it doesn’t matter what you do you don’t know what to create.

I can sit at my desk, hyped up on caffeine and be ready to write. Be motivated to get the majority of the work already done in that one evening. But your mind is empty; you either can’t think of anything to write or the topics you do think of aren’t worth filling up a page with.

And suddenly I think “oh shit am I about to go and work in the wrong industry?”. Because if I am struggling to write for my little online blog 3 times a week surely I would struggle with a full-time job in writing.

I realise that isn’t the case. Every writer gets writer’s block, it is more how you decide to move on from it. Normally, a lot of what I write about is topics that make me angry. As bad as it sounds I find it a lot easier to write about my opinion and it is easier to work out what my opinion is when something irritates me.

So sometimes if I can’t think of content it is most likely because nothing has made me mad. Which is good for me but bad for my blog. If I get a writer’s block one of the first things I do is come up with other ways to create content.

For example, today I am not angry. I am not upset. I am not emotional about anything. This selection of words is my uninterrupted brain flow. I don’t normally do this, just sit and write and see what my brain creates. I am normally organised and plan what I want to write.

Sometimes I get so annoyed at myself for not producing content that I have to walk away; whether that be a day, a few days or a week. I hate doing it but it is always the best thing for me.

Who knows maybe by the time this gets posted my writer’s block will have gone. And I don’t know why I am telling you any of this. As a blogger, I am allowed a life outside my online persona and sometimes that life can take over.

And this isn’t me saying sorry because I know I don’t have to be. This merely me allowing you to see inside my head. Well part of it anyway.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My book: “Letters to my Past”

Body Positivity Vs Body Honesty

Body Positivity Vs Body Honesty

As a society, we go around telling people that they should be happy and confident with their body shape no matter what. We have to go around telling fat and overweight people that they are beautiful and should be accepted for all their flaws.

And I think it is great and all that people can feel more comfortable in their skin. However, it would be the same if you went up to someone who had a bunch of scars down their arms and you told them that they are accepted and should feel comfortable self-harming.

Whilst it may not be physically noticeable at first being overweight or obese can cause a bunch of illnesses, including diabetes or heart disease. This means every time you tell a fat person it is okay to be fat, you are also telling them it is okay to die.

Not only do fat people lead a shorter life and they are seen as less attractive. So, anyone who is overweight, please tell me the benefits of you staying that way?

Whilst I’m talking about the overweight side of the scale I’m sure if someone was extremely skinny or anorexic, people would be worried about their health as well.

Bullying someone to lose weight is never an effective solution, however, I believe we should stop this fat acceptance movement as people will sit in their unhealthy bodies until it is too late. Yes, you can be skinny and unhealthy but you can never be fat and healthy so stop with the bullshit.

You don’t have to go on some fancy diet or do extreme amounts of exercise to lose weight. The main contributor to being overweight is normally portion sizes. It is most likely the case that the person is overeating and consuming more calories than they should be. You could technically eat MacDonald’s everyday and as long as you ate within your calorie allowance, you wouldn’t gain any weight.

I understand that not everyone is blessed with the perfect genetics or the most amazing body. And I also understand that some people find it more difficult to maintain a good weight. But we need to stop with this body acceptance bullshit.

Being overweight and obese is unhealthy. Simple as.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My book: “Letters to my Past”

 

I am an Extroverted Introvert

I am an Extroverted Introvert

Like with most personality traits there is a scale when it comes to introversion and extroversion. Some people are definitely either one or the other but some people are a bit of both.

Don’t tell me I can’t be both, I mean I’m already bi so I obviously have a thing with not making decisions.

An ambivert is someone who has the combination of both introvert and extrovert characteristics. The fact there is a definition for this must mean it’s a thing as well.

Here are a few examples of why I believe I’m an extroverted introvert:

  1. Whether my evening consists of going out for drinks with a few mates or ordering pizza and watching Netflix alone, I will enjoy both options equally. It does also depend on my mood as I may be more inclined to do one than the other.
  2. Introverts tend to find socialising emotionally draining, whereas with me there are some people where I can feel physically exhausted from talking to them for 5 minutes. However, there are some people I could talk to for days and I would never feel drained.
  3. There are times where I can be with a group of people and be completely quiet the entire time and sometimes I can be the loudest one in the room.
  4. I don’t actually mind meeting new people. Although I’d probably prefer hanging out with people I already know quite well.
  5. Whilst I can do small talk I secretly hate it. I can’t be bothered with all this “How are you and how was your weekend” bullshit. In all honesty, I don’t care about your weekend and I know you don’t care about mine.
  6. I love my alone time like any other introvert, however, after too much alone time, I can either feel bored or lonely.
  7. I can be a good listener but I also appreciate it when someone listens to my endless rants.

It is basically all about balance so some days I will be a bit more introverted and some days I will be more extroverted. It also depends on my mood. But if you’ve felt that you have never been able to put into yourself in one category or the other it may be because you’re an ambivert.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

My book is finally here! You can get a copy of “Letters to my Past” by clicking here!

 

The Female Body Vs Social Media

The Female Body Vs Social Media

People, especially teens and young adults, will do anything to get as many likes, comments or shares on their posts on social media. Whether they do this for the attention or the dopamine affect it has on your brain. For girls, especially if they are attractive, the easiest way to make that happen is to reveal as much of your skin as possible.

Whatever anyone wants to post on social media is nobody else’s business, as long as it isn’t full on nudity, people should be allowed to share whatever they feel comfortable sharing. One thing that does irritate me is when underage girls post provocative photos on Instagram or Facebook. Where are your parents? What exactly are you trying to achieve? Because all you are going to get is attention off guys too old for you.

I understand it. You’re young, possibly insecure and you want someone other than your family members to tell you you’re beautiful. However, it isn’t worth sharing your body with the entire internet.

Don’t get me wrong if you’re 16 or older and feel comfortable taking a picture of yourself in your underwear and putting it on social media, go ahead. Why are we judging girls for posting pictures of themselves in their underwear on social media when they would be caught wearing the same amount of clothing when they go to a swimming pool or the beach?

In today’s society, people constantly beg and ask for the female body but as soon as they see it the woman is normally considered a “whore” or a “slut”. Is this because she is comfortable and confident in how she looks naked? Are we going to judge and punish her for being happy in her own skin?

Considering the amount of shit women have to read on a daily, with “lose weight” here and “no one likes a fat girl” there if there are women in 2017 who love the way they look they should be praised. With everything you see in magazines and on social media, it is difficult waking up in the morning not hating yourself.

Gracie x

My Book: “Letters to my Past”

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill

Honesty Isn’t an Excuse to be an Arsehole

Honesty Isn’t an Excuse to be an Arsehole

We always see honesty as a good thing to have and when it comes to friends and family members we would prefer people to be honest with us. Whilst it may hurt you would rather they let you know when you’re making a mistake or when an outfit or hairstyle doesn’t look good on you. Note to self; bangs rarely looks good.

However, it is when people use honesty to be rude and sometimes hurtful. Whether these people intended to be mean or not most of the time what they said hurt the person. But they believe they can get away with saying whatever because they are “only being honest”.

Before I continue my little rant I am fully aware I do this all the time. I just go along and say whatever is in my head without properly thinking if it’s the right thing to do. The majority of the time I don’t mean to hurt someone’s feelings.

Trust me you’d know if I wanted to hurt your feelings.

You can be honest and not be an arsehole. It is fine if you are being honest and it is coming from a thoughtful place. For example, if you believed a friend or family member was in an abusive relationship and you cared enough to let them know. But if in your own opinion someone has done something wrong there is probably no need to mention it.

Another example is commenting on how someone looks. If it something someone can change in five minutes, such as something being in their teeth or a piece of hair in the wrong place, let them know. If it isn’t something they can change, their weight or hair colour, don’t bother mentioning it. They will go the day feeling insecure or self-conscious and not be able to do anything about it.

I always introduce myself as a brutally honest person but in reality, maybe I’m just an arsehole.

Now, I’m not suggesting you should tell white lies to make others happy but maybe think before you speak. Think about whether the hurtful thing you’re about to say is really relevant or necessary.

And if it isn’t, shut your mouth.

Gracie x

Facebook: facebook.com/graciehemphill98

Twitter: @gracievhemphill

Instagram: @graciehemphill