You have probably heard the phrase “Nice guys finish last” or “Girls only date arseholes” and these two phrases are coming from the same guys. The guys that believe that the only flaw they have in their personality is that they are too nice.

Trust is deeper than just being honest. It’s more than just telling the truth to each other. That’s just a part of it. Trust is being to believe that your partner is who he says he is. It’s knowing that through the ups and downs your partner will stay the same.

If a guy was really nice he wouldn’t constantly feel the need to tell you he’s a “nice guy”. “Nice guys” are only nice for they think it will get them something. That’s not nice, that’s manipulative.

This about the men who claim they can’t understand how women could be so blind as to not see the “good guy” standing right in front of them. When you accuse women of always going for the wrong guy, you’re implying that you know better than they do. You are rejecting the possibility that they can make the right choice for themselves.

You’re not the only nice guy on the planet. You should appreciate the fact that a woman can make her own romantic choices. Chances are she is dating good guys, you’re just bitter it isn’t you.

Being nice shouldn’t earn you sex. “Nice guys” believe that their behaviour should be rewarded. A guy who is nice because he thinks it will get a girl to go out with him isn’t really nice, is it? He’s not treating the women right because it is in his character to do so. He is doing it for something in return.

A legitimately nice person is just nice and doesn’t need to be rewarded for it.

A guy will get biological urges telling him he needs to be with the prettiest girl out there, but unfortunately, the girl is probably going to opt for someone as attractive as her. He doesn’t think this is fair and believes if he is nice it will make up for his lack of good looks. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

Most of the so-called “nice guys” are angry. They got that way because they’ve suffered from rejection, failed relationships and an inability to attract the women they’re interested in.

The problem is you are trying to go for an unintelligent, 10 out of 10 model who wants to be bought designer handbags every week. And yeah, maybe you are being nice to her, but unfortunately, if you are not her type, to begin with, he doesn’t matter how “nice” you are. It won’t happen. People look for things in common with other people. Smart people go with other smart people. Funny people go with other funny people. And attractive people go with other attractive people.

I used to believe I should be trying to find the hottest guy out there. But as soon as I sat down and had a conversation with them I realised they were boring and unintelligent.

And that’s the same with if these “nice guys” did finally end up with one of these girls they would find they have nothing in common with them.

And if a girl has broken up with you don’t assume it is because you’re too nice and she likes arseholes treating her like shit. I’m sure there are a list of reasons why she broke up with you; being too nice wasn’t one of them.

Grace Hemphill